Do you often take jokes too seriously, whether from coworkers, friends, or classmates? Over time, the inability to take jokes casually can put pressure on your relationship, especially when people feel that you want to be superior or that you're the one who often spoils the mood. Often times, the habit of taking jokes seriously indicates that you are either plain (and too serious) or too sensitive to other people's humor. This could be because you feel you don't have the same sense of humor as other people and are sensitive to their jokes, or because you don't know how to respond to jokes in general. However, by embracing humor and jokes, you will feel more relaxed and at ease. As long as you don't think someone else's joke is offensive, there are a number of ways you can stop taking small jokes seriously and join in the laughs with others.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Analyzing Sensitivity to Jokes
Step 1. Understand the source of your sensitivity to jokes
Often, your reaction to a joke is based on your thoughts about the joke. You may take the joke more seriously than you should or don't understand the joke well. When processing a joke, try to think about what made you react seriously and what triggered your sensitivity to the joke. This way, you can build greater self-awareness of the roots of your sensitivity to these jokes and tackle them right away.
- Think about whether your interpretation of the joke is realistic and accurate enough. Do you understand the joke based on assumptions or personal experience? Is the sensitivity based on previous experience or have you misunderstood the joker's intentions?
- You can also consider whether there is evidence to suggest that you shouldn't take the joke seriously and can process the sensitivity without anger or negativity. Consider these questions so you can realize that your sensitivity to jokes is unreasonable and based on feelings or emotions that are not related to the joke you're hearing.
Step 2. Think about whether you frequently face other negative emotions such as stress and anxiety
Sometimes other emotions can overwhelm you so that you have a hard time laughing or smiling when you hear other people's jokes. You may feel pressured and anxious about recent deadlines, commitments, or failures, and feel reluctant to listen to funny stories or witty, witty comments. In the end, you take someone's jokes seriously because you're trapped in a negative space or so caught up in problems that you can't see the positive side of things.
Keep in mind that laughing and sharing jokes can be very effective stress relievers, especially if you have trouble seeing the positive side and are stuck in a problem or space of grief. Even if you feel that the situation you're in is serious and dire, it's important that you give yourself a chance to calm down and laugh, even when you hear a silly joke
Step 3. Notice if you are sensitive to discomfort
Maybe you take a joke seriously because you're uncomfortable with the topic of the joke or don't understand what makes the joke funny. If you feel that a joke someone else has made is offensive, think about what made you think the joke was offensive. Also think about whether your reactions are based on facts (eg historical facts for racist jokes) or personal experiences (eg your experiences as a woman listening to sexist jokes).
You don't have to have personal experience with a certain perspective to determine if a joke someone else makes is offensive or indecent. Usually, if you're embarrassed that someone else's joke sounds rude or untrue, you have every right to take it seriously and not laugh when you hear it
Step 4. Ask for clarification if you are confused by a joke that is heard
If you're taking a joke seriously because you're confused about the joker's intentions, try asking him to explain his point or describe what prompted him to make the joke. For example, you may hear a joke from one scientist that only makes sense to other scientists. Usually, jokes don't sound as funny if they are explained further. However, by asking the joker, you can learn more about the joke and understand certain types of jokes better in the future.
Part 2 of 3: Responding to Jokes
Step 1. Put yourself in the joker's shoes
Think about the identity of the joker and why he told the joke. For example, a father may tell a joke about fathers to a group of people and the joke only makes sense to fathers. Maybe he wants to get the attention of the daddies in the group and you don't understand the joke he's making because you're not a dad. The same is true for other professions and groups because you need to know the point of view of the joker in order to fully understand the joke.
It's a good idea to see the jokes that are made as a representation of the humor of the joker. A person with a goofy sense of humor may tell different jokes than someone who is perceived as “flat,” but is actually smart. When you get along with the joker, you can pick up on the jokes he's telling on purpose that don't usually need to be taken seriously
Step 2. Watch other people's reactions to jokes
If you don't understand the point of the joke, observe the people around you for a reaction you can show. Usually, laughter is contagious and you can end up laughing with other people by observing their reactions. By observing other people's reactions, you will also not take the jokes you hear seriously, especially when the other person is enjoying the joke.
According to several studies, humans cannot force laughter. Often times, laughter is an automatic response that we exhibit unconsciously. This is what makes it difficult for us to laugh when ordered or pretend to laugh. By observing other people's reactions, you will end up laughing too, instead of thinking seriously or acting cold
Step 3. Respond to jokes with witty comments
To dilute your serious approach, try challenging yourself to respond to a joke you're hearing with a witty reply or comment. You can take the main theme or message in a joke and reply to something you find funnier or more interesting.
For example, your coworker might tell you about her toddler who is always sad when he leaves the house. You can respond with a story about your dog who is always sad when left at home. Stories like these are hilarious responses because they evolve from original jokes and provide a humorous response: your dog sits and grumbles at the door as you leave the house for work. By replying, you're showing that you don't take a coworker's jokes seriously and can join in on the fun
Step 4. Ignore the joke by lowering yourself
This kind of reaction occurs when you make fun of yourself to trigger someone else's laughter. This type of joke is useful when you don't know the appropriate response to a joke you're hearing, or realize that you're taking the joke seriously. Humor like this can also be a great medium to get rid of awkward moments and show that you can laugh at yourself too.
Use this kind of humor whenever you feel awkward, stricken, or don't know what to say. For example, your friend might tell a joke about how bad he is at a certain sport or game. You can respond by humbling yourself (eg talking about how bad you are at various things). A response like this will make your friends laugh. You can also respond to original jokes in a funny way
Part 3 of 3: Embracing Humor and Jokes
Step 1. Tell your own joke
Train yourself to be able to joke and laugh by encouraging yourself to tell jokes to others. This way you won't be taking yourself too seriously and can show that you want to be funny.
- Try to find some funny jokes from the internet and practice in the mirror before telling them to others. You can also tell the joke to a sympathetic friend before sharing it publicly. If you want, try visiting an amateur comedy show or stand-up comedy at a bar or pub and show off your sense of humor to strangers.
- A good joke includes an opening and a punchline or surprise. The opening is the first half of the joke and usually includes locations and important characters. Surprise is usually a comment that triggers laughter. For example, you could tell an opening like this: “There are two small children playing kites. 'Wow, my kite must have broken!' said the first child. After that, you can throw a surprise like this: “The second child replies, 'No way! Yesterday the relationship was still fine anyway'”
Step 2. Practice telling other people funny stories
A funny story or anecdote can lighten the mood and show that you're willing to share a laugh with others. Telling funny stories is similar to telling jokes. You'll need to combine timing and physical gestures, as well as build story openings and surprises. You also need to maintain eye contact with your audience as you tell the story, and end the story with a laugh-inducing statement.
When telling a joke or a funny story, try to keep it short and straightforward. Listeners have a limited attention span and of course don't let them lose their interest in the story before you have a chance to tell the surprise
Step 3. Watch funny television shows and movies
Have a better picture of funny things by watching television shows and comedy films. Professional comedy actors are usually adept at using timing and physical gestures, as well as slipping jokes in the right places to make the audience laugh.
