Being ignored by others is painful. Plus, you're more likely to have a hard time finding the right way to respond, especially if you don't know the reason behind the neglect. To deal with abandonment, make sure you first evaluate the frequency of neglect and the communication style of the person ignoring you. Want to know more details? Read this article!
Step
Part 1 of 3: Asking the Reasons Behind His Behavior
Step 1. Ask yourself the reason behind the neglect
It's possible that he was ignoring you on purpose. Try to remember your last interaction. Does he seem angry or annoyed with you? Did you ever say something that hurt him? If so, chances are he's still harboring resentment over the same problem. However, if your last interaction was very positive and didn't imply any problems, there's a good chance that something else is causing him to ignore you. For example, it may be that he is immersed in his love affairs or busy studying for an exam.
Step 2. Ask a third person the reason behind the waiver
If the person is a friend or coworker of yours, try asking your mutual friend the reason behind the behavior. They may be able to give you the answer you need (for example, you've unwittingly angered the person and instead of confronting you, he or she chooses to ignore you so the situation doesn't worsen). In some cases, the third person closest to you is able to assess the situation more objectively and help you identify the reasons behind the neglect.
Step 3. Ask the reason behind the waiver directly
Confront the person in a quiet and private place, then ask him, "Why are you avoiding me?". After that, present solid evidence that shows that he's been ignoring you (e.g., evidence that he doesn't return your calls or emails, and evidence that he often doesn't respond to what you say). After that, listen to the explanation carefully.
Step 4. Recognize manipulative behavior
If this is the first time he's ignored you, there's a good chance that there's a specific reason behind his behavior. On the other hand, if the abandonment is patterned and you've received from the same person multiple times, chances are that he or she was satisfied when doing it. Be careful, he might do this to get you to apologize or fulfill his wish. It's also possible that he did it because he wanted to weaken your power; for example, you might hear him say, “You wouldn't ask why if you really knew me/love me.”. These examples show a narcissistic personality trait that you should be aware of.
Part 2 of 3: Back off
Step 1. Assess the person by their behavior
Let's just say you've confronted him and he claims he understands your complaint (he may even apologize for ignoring you). If after that he ignores you again, understand that he does have bad intentions and does not want to build a positive relationship with you.
Step 2. Accept the person's decision to distance themselves from you
Don't keep pushing him to apologize for ignoring you. Also, don't go on and on about the impact his behavior has on your feelings. If he's consistently ignoring you, he's more than likely getting some satisfaction out of it. So make sure you don't follow the game by constantly discussing the situation.
Step 3. Don't beat yourself up
If someone chooses to continue ignoring you even after you've tried to mend the relationship with them, accept the decision. There's no need to beat yourself up or wish you could do something different to improve the situation.
Step 4. Open yourself up
Let the person who ignores you know that you want to improve the relationship with them. Do not give up! Remember, some people have personal issues that need to be worked out before finding ways to build healthy relationships with others. Show him that he can always talk to you about his problems or ask you for help.
Part 3 of 3: Resolving Conflicts
Step 1. Think of the abandonment as the result of a different communication style
Try to assume that the neglect wasn't done on purpose to hurt you. He may be ignoring you because he doesn't want to make the situation worse or get himself involved in a more serious conflict. If that's the case, chances are he just wants to be alone for a while to calm himself down (and hopes you'll do the same). If you are able to understand this perspective, it will help you to discuss the situation with a cool head when the time comes.
Step 2. Accept your emotions
Being ignored by someone you love and care about is painful; You may feel frustrated, angry, or sad afterward. Don't worry, it's natural; Accept the emotions and don't hide them. Accepting emotions is the first step to expressing yourself and pointing out where others are wrong.
Step 3. Have a structured conversation
A structured conversation is a conversation that is scheduled at a certain time for a specific purpose, and is accompanied by certain rules such as 'no shouting' or 'no insulting the other person'. In every structured conversation, communicators and communicants are ready to discuss the existing conflicts and have practiced their basic points beforehand. Offering a structured communication process is especially useful if the abandonment is the result of a long-standing problem or series of problems that are preventing you from building a deeper emotional connection with the person you're talking to.
Step 4. Get out of your comfort zone
Try different communication styles. If you're one of those people who get "hot" when resolving conflicts (such as constantly yelling, getting angry, or being aggressive), try to learn to have more control over yourself. On the other hand, if you're a very "cold" person when it comes to resolving conflicts (for example, you tend to ignore or leave the other person to calm down, or like to give indirect responses), try to be more spontaneous and emotional when communicating (but make sure you don't get carried away). emotions and be negative afterwards).
Step 5. If necessary, exchange apologies with the person
If he explains that you hurt his feelings, explain that you didn't mean it and offer your apologies. But make sure you make it clear that his neglect also hurts you. Forgive him for what he did, and let him know that you hope he will forgive you too.
Sometimes you have a hard time understanding why someone is irritated by your very small actions or words. But even if the reason doesn't feel strong or justified, it doesn't hurt you to keep apologizing
Tips
- Give the person who ignored you time to be alone. Slowly, start talking to him again. If he truly values your friendship, chances are he won't be ignoring you for too long.
- If someone ignores you for no apparent reason, try talking to them to solve the problem head-on.
- Oftentimes, abandonment occurs because the neglecting party needs space and time to resolve his or her personal problems. Respect her privacy and don't take her behavior personally.
