We've all experienced it. You stand and listen to a man at a party talk about his collection of exotic beetles, or listen to a coworker talk about his shingles for the 80th time. You really want to end the conversation-but you don't want to be rude or hurt their feelings. So how do you end a chat without looking like a total jerk? Read Step 1 to find out.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Involving Others in the Conversation
Step 1. Introduce someone to that person
This is an easy and quick way to end the conversation. This method can be done at a party or social event. Find someone you can include in the conversation and then ask the person you're chatting with if he or she has met the person and introduce them both right away. Ideally, the two should have a reason to know each other, such as a common ground or a business opportunity. You can stay quiet for a few moments to see the two of them get to know each other more and then ask permission to leave. Here are some things you can say:
- "Hey, have you met Kris? He's also in the acapella group. The world is really small, isn't it?"
- "Have I introduced you to Markus Panggabean yet? He's the head of the Bosan Jaya Company".
Step 2. Ask a friend for help
Even though this is the most immature way in the world, you may feel so desperate that you meet a friend's eyes and give you a "help me" look. Your friend should understand that this is a signal of a social emergency and should come to your aid immediately. If you're often stuck in boring conversations, you should make a cue to your friend, such as tugging at your ear or clearing your throat frequently. While it shouldn't be flashy, you should let your friend know that she has to come and help you out of the chat.
- Your friend can come over and say, "I'm sorry, but I have to talk to you." Then you can politely apologize when you leave.
- Your friend can also join in on the conversation and make it more fun, if you can't possibly run away.
Step 3. Ask to be introduced to someone
This is another creative way to end a boring conversation. Look around the room for someone you want to know-even if you don't really want to be introduced to that person. This person could be someone related to work or someone from your social circle who you have never met before. Ask the other person to introduce the two of you, and you can start having interesting conversations with the person. Here are some things to say:
- "Hey, that's Mirna's boyfriend Jajang, right? I've heard about him a lot but never met him in person. Would you like to introduce the two of us?"
- "That's Mr. Soni, the production director, right? I've sent an email to him but have never met him. Can you introduce us? Thank you very much if you want".
Step 4. Leave when someone else joins the conversation
While it will take a while for this to happen, if you're too shy to excuse yourself, this is the optimal move. Wait for someone else to come along and change the flow of the conversation to how it was before. Once that happens, say excuse me to everyone and leave. That way, the person you're talking to won't take your attitude to heart and will just think that it's time for you to leave.
Step 5. Invite the other person to do something with you
This is another classic way that's similar to self-indulgence, but better. Tell the person that you are going to do something and ask them to join. If he doesn't want to join, congratulations! -You've just saved yourself from a boring chat. If he wants to join in, see it as an opportunity to meet other people and finally put an end to the boring chatter. Here are some things you can say:
- "I'm actually really hungry - I need a snack. Do you want to come with me?"
- "I think my drink is about to run out. Want to come to the bar with me?"
- "Oh there's Tere Liye, that famous writer. I wanted to introduce myself to him tonight and he's finally alone too. Do you want to come with me?"
Part 2 of 3: Making Excuses to Leave
Step 1. Say you have to talk to someone
This is another classic way that never fails. If you really want to end a boring chat, you can say that you need to meet or talk to someone else. Even if you sound a little harsh, make it sound like it's really important, so the person you're talking to will feel that you really mean it. Here's how to say it:
- "I want to ask Pak Putu about the annual report. Excuse me."
- "I have to talk to Marni about going to Surabaya next month. We'll talk later, okay?"
Step 2. Allow yourself to go to the bathroom
This is probably the easiest way to end a boring chat. You may find it a little awkward to say, “I have to go to the bathroom” or “I need to pee,” so you can say, “Excuse me” and then point your head to the bathroom or make it clear that you really want to go to the bathroom. No one can stop you from urinating and this may be the strongest excuse you have.
- You can make clearer reasons for going to the bathroom, such as having to take allergy medicine, snoring, or having to do other things that can only be done in an enclosed space.
- Just make sure you actually go to the bathroom if you say so. Otherwise, you will offend him.
Step 3. Say that you want to take some food or drink
This method can also be a powerful option to end a boring chat. If you're talking to someone and find the conversation getting boring, stealthily drink it all up and then say that you need to refill your glass or grab another snack. This is always a perfectly acceptable excuse to end the conversation at a party, if you say it nicely. It's even better if you can see a friend or acquaintance standing next to the bar or snack table. Here's what you can say:
- "I'm really thirsty. Excuse me-I have to drink first".
- "I can't stop eating that cake! It's so delicious and addictive. We'll talk later, okay?"
Step 4. Say that you have to help someone
This is a more bizarre excuse, but it can be done. You have to be smart and act as if your friend, who is having a good time chatting, is someone to save from a boring chat. Look at the friend then look at the person you are talking to and say:
- "Ouch! Hana gave me a signal that she needed to be rescued quickly. It's nice to be able to talk to you, but she needs me there".
- "Oh, I promised Elisa that I wouldn't let her talk to her ex-boyfriend at this party. I have to go there before she gets mad at me."
Step 5. Say that you have to call
While this isn't the best reason to end the conversation, you can still do it. If you're good at acting and can come up with a compelling story, or can speak it casually, the person you're talking to won't think twice about letting you in. There are lots of reasons to call, especially if you're chatting about making cucumber cakes. Here are some polite ways to welcome yourself:
- "Sorry, I'm on the phone with the housing agent all day. I have to call him again to ask the house price."
- "I think my mom just called me. I have to call her for a bit. I want to ask what I should bring for dinner."
- "I think my boss who was interviewing me called earlier. Excuse me, I want to listen to his voicemail first."
Step 6. Say that you need to get back to work
This is another old-fashioned excuse to step away from a boring conversation. Of course, if you're at a birthday party, this excuse doesn't work. However, you can use it in other situations, whether you're gardening or your lunch break at school or your office. Here are some ways to end the conversation using this excuse:
- "Sorry, but I have to work again. I have to reply to 30 emails before I can go home".
- "I want to talk a lot, but tomorrow there is a chemistry exam and I haven't studied at all".
- "I want to hear more stories about your stamp collection, but I promised my father to help out at home tonight."
Part 3 of 3: Ending the Conversation
Step 1. Signal with body language
When the conversation is almost over, you can use your body to help you. Back away slowly, begin to distance yourself from the other person, and try to move your body slightly away from the person. You should do this without appearing rude, but simply to signal you should go. You can do this before quibbling or letting yourself go.
Step 2. Summarize the reason why the conversation started
If you talk to the person for some reason, you should go back over it to conclude the conversation so that everything is clear. This will let the other person see that you really care about the subject, and that you don't feel bored. It can also give a sense of closure to the conversation. Here are a few ways to say it:
- "It's nice to hear about your vacation to Lombok. If you go there again, give me a call!"
- "I think you already know about Peterson's report. I can't wait to read it."
- "I'm glad you're starting to like living in Bandung. I always like to see new faces in my favorite city".
Step 3. End the conversation physically
Once the conversation is completely over, you should greet the person, wave or pat the person on the shoulder, depending on the context of the situation. This will help send the signal that you should leave. If you really like the person and want to see them again, the two of you can exchange phone numbers or business cards. Be kind to the person-maybe he won't be this boring later.
Step 4. Say goodbye in a kind way
Even if the person is very boring, there's no reason to be rude to him if he's just trying to be nice. Compliment the person, saying that you enjoyed chatting or meeting them. This is just part of being polite and you won't feel guilty if talking to the person feels the same as waiting for the paint to dry. There's nothing wrong with being nice to that person. The only reason you can be a little rude is if the person won't leave you; if so, you should politely explain that you don't have much time and want to chat with someone else. Here's how to say goodbye nicely:
- "I'm glad we finally met. I'm also glad that Sam has so many good friends."
- "Nice to chat with you-a little difficult to meet Persija fans in Bandung!"
- "Nice to talk to you. We'll see you later, okay?"
Step 5. Do what you said you would do
This is one of the most important parts of ending the conversation. This may not seem strange anymore, but many people are immediately relieved to end a conversation with such a boring person that they forget to do their excuse. If you say you have to go to the toilet, go there. If you said you were going to talk to Chandra, talk to him. If you say that you are very hungry, have a small snack. Don't let the other person feel disappointed when they see that you are clearly lying just to get away from him.
Once you've done that, you're free! Enjoy the rest of your day or night without the threat of boring chats
Tips
- Remember if you're in a boring group chat, you can just walk away. Finishing the conversation in a large gathering would be more acceptable.
- Smile politely and nod in a way that shows you're not interested.
- Pretend someone is calling you from the other side of the room or that your phone is vibrating. Say excuse me and go.
- If you don't like the person and don't want to talk to them, say that you're not interested in talking to them.
Warning
- Be careful when telling someone you're not interested. Maybe he's just talking to you because he's feeling lonely, or he wants to try to start a conversation.
- Don't just stop talking and ignore it. This is a bad attitude and can make him hostile towards you.
