A guy who is just playing with your feelings is not emotionally involved, while you are fully engaged with him. In this situation, he doesn't view the relationship in the same way you do, but instead hides his true intentions and just hangs on to you. This guy is usually an opportunist who knows you like him, or has lots of girlfriends he's hanging out with too. When you're in this situation, there are plenty of signs that he doesn't really love you, but because your feelings are already involved, it can be hard to think clearly and consistently. Plus, a guy who's just playing with feelings is really good at making sure he likes you when he wants you. So, watch for these signs to see if you're involved with a guy who is just playing with your feelings and know what you can do about it.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Looking for Contradictory Signals
Step 1. Pay attention to his affectionate attitude
Usually, a guy who just wants to flirt is very physically affectionate when he has the chance to sleep with you. At this point, he was moving pretty fast. However, before reaching that point, he may not be so affectionate. He doesn't seem to have the will to hold your hand. He doesn't embrace you. He also doesn't look you in the eye when just chatting with no possibility of making love. In addition, he is not affectionate in front of his friends or family.
- Some of the exceptions are on a first date or when visiting an interesting, new, or out of town place. A man like this may be very affectionate at first or be affectionate once in a while when his heart is happy.
- Some guys will be affectionate at every chance they get because that's their personality. Men like this usually have a cheerful and open personality.
Step 2. Notice how much attention he gives you
If it seems like he's mostly busy with other things, like his phone, games, or friends when he's with you, he probably isn't really that interested in you. Or, if he seems a bit bored or disinterested in what you have to say, he may not be interested in the relationship. Or, maybe the opposite is the case. Maybe he really cares about you when you're together, but only when he wants to see you. Also, you may find that your attention is strange or unnatural.
Does it seem like he remembers what you said? If he really likes you, it will be easier for him to remember anything you say. Otherwise, he might not remember
Step 3. Compare him to other guys who have really liked you in the past
You can think of another guy who really likes you, and compare his attitude to this new guy's. For example, if a guy really likes you, he's obviously excited to be with you, or he's shy when he talks. He'll either look you in the eye a lot or won't make eye contact, and he'll be around you longer than necessary. A guy who likes you will be interested in what you have to say, more so than anyone else, and he will ask you what you are doing and would like to see you again. He may seem nervous and forget about other things when he's with you. For example, if you're both talking about music and he forgets the name of his favorite band, then he's really interested in you.
If the guy you're with right now doesn't seem to like you that much, maybe he really just wants to take advantage
Step 4. Think about whether he is emotionally attached to you
If you're being teased, he may be excited to text you one day, and the next day seem distant. She seemed to be able to turn her feelings on and off without difficulty. However, if you're dating someone who's genuinely interested, his emotions come into play. He cares about what happens to you and will be sad if you are sad. He wants you to like him, and he likes it when you express your feelings for him and is disappointed if he thinks you don't like him.
Step 5. Discuss the situation with someone else
Outsiders can show what is going on because they can provide a new and objective perspective. Tell your friends about this situation and ask if this guy really seems to like you. You can analyze many aspects of the relationship, but the first thing you should ask is, "Does he really seem to like me?" That's the key. If your friends don't take this guy seriously, he probably doesn't like you the way you like him.
Describe your situation clearly and coherently, and use concrete examples to show what this man has said or done. For example, “We've been out for 5 weeks and he usually sees me about every 10 days. We never go out on weekends, and I've never met his friends. He seemed to be out with his friends a lot, but he never told me what they were doing and he never took me. When we go out, he doesn't hold my hand or be affectionate, unless it's late."
Step 6. Think about whether he is being honest with you
Feelings are not always reciprocated and it doesn't matter, everyone has experienced it. Unrequited love is hard, but your feelings are not toyed with, not always, even if you feel hurt. The difference between a disinterested person and a person who is just playing games is honesty in expressing their feelings and intentions. If you feel like he's not being honest about who he really is, his motivations, and the other people he's dating, you should still treat him well, but keep your distance if your feelings for him are more genuine than his feelings for you.
- On the other hand, men who play with feelings tend to be secretive and covert, and try to keep your attention by playing strategy. He doesn't want you to be a part of his life, but may be signaling that you will be a big part of his life in the future to keep you interested in him. However, he never proves his point or introduces you to his friends and family.
- If you suspect he has another girlfriend and never tell you but hint (or say) that you're the only girl in his life, chances are he's just playing with you.
- You may see him on dating sites or he becomes very ambiguous when it comes to activities he does or people he meets.
Part 2 of 3: Paying Attention to Patterns
Step 1. Track the progress of your relationship with this man
Grab a calendar and see how old your relationship is. If you've been dating him for more than a month and you still haven't met his friends, and he seems very relaxed or indifferent about the relationship, he probably isn't in this relationship for the same reasons you are. For example, he doesn't ask to see you more often, doesn't say he wants to do things in the future, or doesn't tell you how he feels. Or, he says he likes you, but doesn't seem to align with many of the other signs that suggest he's playing you.
Step 2. Pay attention to when he can and can't see you
This is a big indicator of how much interest he has in the relationship. If for him the relationship is all about sex or ego, he may only see you at night or when he wants to. He may often cancel appointments, put off dates, or be unsure if he will have free time. Try to remember how many times he put off dates or said he was busy. You've likely seen this pattern already, but it's a good idea to draw it on paper so you can fully understand the facts of the situation.
Step 3. Evaluate your feelings and actions so far
If you're always worrying about what's going on, worrying about whether he likes you or not, and feeling tossed around between liking him and distrusting him, maybe something is really wrong. If after meeting you are always upset, unsettled, or confused about his feelings, you may be involved with someone who doesn't feel the same way.
- Infatuated people sometimes have emotional ups and downs, but if you're feeling all of that alone, you probably haven't found the right person.
- If you've had trust issues in the past, are the type of person who tends to be suspicious in a relationship, or have issues with inner insecurities, talk to your friends and ask their opinion. They know you very well and can help find out if there is a problem in your relationship with this guy.
Step 4. Trust your heart
If you've noticed a pattern that keeps repeating itself and feel the same way multiple times with this guy, your intuition is usually right. Sometimes, your mind can manipulate its behavior so that it makes sense because you want to believe that all is well. If you ask yourself, “What is my heart saying about this?” and the answer is similar to “Not good”, maybe you should get out of this relationship before things get too far.
Step 5. Remember who contacts you the most
Think about who you most invite to meet. If you're the one who usually takes the initiative and you're also the first to call or text, he may not be as interested in you as you'd like him to be. Go back through your text conversations with this guy and see who messaged the most, who had longer messages, and who started/ended the conversation to see who was more interested in chatting.
- If you're the one who calls more often and he seems to genuinely like you through most of his actions, there may not really be a problem except that he's not very good at communicating on the phone. However, this possibility is very small because most people already rely heavily on and are used to communicating by telephone.
- It's also possible that he says he doesn't like communicating on the phone, but you notice the opposite when he's with you.
Part 3 of 3: Responding to His Attitude to You
Step 1. Don't act like you trust him
If you've noticed that he's lying about his relationship with other women, isn't being honest about his true feelings for you, or is constantly arguing that he's busy, stop acting like you trust him. You have to stop this game and have a serious talk. Plan to talk and think about what you want to say ahead of time. For example, if you suspect he will cancel a date at the last minute, think about your response first. Then, when he calls and excuses, “I have a problem,” respond by saying, “Okay, we need to talk quickly.”
- Sometimes, a man who likes to play games is attracted to a woman who doesn't want to be in his game. Be prepared, and if he seems more attracted to you than before, don't trust this manipulation. You certainly don't want to get involved with a guy who likes you because you know he's lying.
- Your response should not be to make him feel guilty or cause an argument. There's no need to try hard because you won't be able to change it by confronting or fighting. Remember that you can only control yourself.
- If you're pretty sure you'll be screwed if you argue with him, think of ways you can move away indirectly and quietly. Right now the most important thing is to get away as soon as possible.
Step 2. Tell him that you don't want to see him again
When you feel like you're being played with, you may be tempted to confront this guy. However, if you're dealing with a guy who is hiding his true intentions, you don't need to ask him what he means because he's more likely to lie again when asked. Instead, say that the relationship is not going well and explain why you want to leave.
- For example, say, "I know this relationship is more important to me than it is to you, and I want to break up because I know I want more." You may communicate this decision by phone, message, email, or in person, depending on the closeness of your relationship.
- If you want to talk face-to-face, find a time and place during the day when you are both fresh and clear-headed. Ask if he has time to talk and find a table or chair in an open space. Don't try to talk after a fight or at the end of the night.
- Email messages are a great option if you want to explain your feelings, or if you don't think the relationship is serious enough to end in person.
Step 3. Be honest and straightforward
If he asks why, say that you feel he's being dishonest and that you don't feel the same way about him. Say how you feel and mention the attitude that makes you unsure by using "my statement".
- Avoid words like, “You make me upset,” because they are accusing. Instead, be more specific using “my statements”, such as, “When you didn't call me a few days after we made love, I was upset because it seemed like you only wanted to meet when you wanted to.”
- Try not to try to read his mind. Don't accuse him of dating other women if you're not sure, and don't accuse him of deliberately ignoring you because you can't read his mind. In addition, these kinds of accusations will cause arguments and make it difficult for you to leave without a problem.
- Keep your tone of voice and say things maturely.
Step 4. Prepare to end the conversation
Don't let the conversation turn into an argument or an opportunity to reminisce about the good times because you'll be vulnerable to falling into his arms again. After saying what you need to say, end the conversation quickly. If you feel that he's actually a nice guy or you like his presence, just say it and end the conversation on a positive note. You can say, "I'm happy to be with you, but I have to go." Or, if you feel hurt, say, "I'm sad and hurt by the end of this relationship, and I have to leave."
