Knowing a girl's feelings is a very complex affair, even more complex than the fact that her feelings can change and be inconsistent. There are countless indicators of how a girl expresses feelings through her eyes, in facial expressions and tone of voice, and in physical behavior, but to understand what they mean, you have to understand the overall context. For example, the first glance a girl gives when she meets a guy isn't necessarily a real indicator that she has a romantic interest in him. Instead, you should continue to look at nonverbal cues to determine if romantic attraction is present. The best way to find out how he feels for you is to notice a pattern that develops over time and ask directly if he has feelings for you.
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Part 1 of 3: Paying attention to her eyes and gaze
Step 1. Pay attention to his gaze
There are several things you can tell about a girl's feelings from her gaze. If his eyes are often fixed on your face and eyes, whether or not during a conversation, he may be romantically attracted to you. Usually, if a person is sexually attracted to the opposite sex, his gaze will turn to the part of the body that he finds impressive. If he is romantically attracted, his gaze will be more focused on the face and eyes.
However, you need to be careful. The pattern of his changing eyes could be a sign that he is an extrovert. Extroverts tend to be more enthusiastic about social interactions so they use more eye contact than introverts
Step 2. Pay attention to the size of the pupil
Constricted pupils are an indicator of attraction or arousal. If you notice his black pupils shrink when he looks at you, it could be an indication that he is romantically or sexually attracted to you. Human eyes will widen when they see something they want.
- This method is especially easy for people with blue eyes because of the color contrast between the dark black pupil and the lighter blue iris.
- Also keep in mind that the pupil will constrict in response to the light turning brighter, so if the pupil is constricting, watch for any changes in the light.
Step 3. Count the number of times he blinks in one minute
If while you're talking he blinks more than 6–10 times a minute, it could be an indication that he has feelings for you. People who see something or someone they like tend to blink more often than normal. Wear a watch with a seconds hand so you can count the blinks more easily. Make sure the two of you are interacting when counting.
Part 2 of 3: Paying Attention to His Behavior and Expressions
Step 1. Listen to the tone of his voice
If he's romantically attracted, his voice will probably be lower, not higher, and sound a bit hoarse and sighing. The researchers' theory is that there is a cultural stereotype that women who are attracted to a man speak in a lower voice and seductively.
There has been a misconception all along that a woman who is attracted to a man will make her voice higher and sweeter. However, if the girl tries to signal that she likes you, she will likely speak in a deeper, hoarse tone
Step 2. Watch his body movements
A series of gestures can show that he feels connected to you. For example, if at the same time he smiles, tilts his head to one side and touches his face, this is an indication of romantic attraction.
If he's an extrovert, he's probably more expressive in his gestures and will tend to show that off to whoever makes him feel connected
Step 3. Pay attention to his body language when he laughs
The indicator of romantic attraction is not the laughter itself, but what happens when she laughs. Men who are attracted to a woman tend to come closer and lean toward her while laughing. Meanwhile, a woman who is attracted to a man will laugh while positioning her body in such a way that her best physical appearance will stand out. Women will sit more upright or display a posture that makes him more attractive and seductive.
Step 4. Don't jump to conclusions too quickly
If you are attracted to this girl, your feelings will reduce your ability to read the cues she sends. Anticipating signs of interest from him will make your perception more reliable, so pay close attention and don't jump to conclusions. Assess his feelings for you by considering what happened during the night or after a few dates. Try to look at it objectively, and see the situation from an outsider's point of view.
See how he treats other people to see if you're just assuming. For example, if it seems like he's also making eye contact and making a series of gestures with other people, he's probably an extrovert, and you should take that into account when reading his body language
Step 5. Watch for signs that say he's not interested in you
There is body language that shows interest, and there is also body language that shows disinterest or anxiety. For example, if he often raises his eyebrows, he may be uncomfortable. And this could mean he doesn't want you to like him. Also, crossed legs and arms may be a sign that he's trying to shut himself off from you. This could mean he is anxious or he may not be affected by your feelings.
- You can ask if he's worried about something. If he says something is worrying him, there's a good chance his body language isn't responding to you.
- Also, his feelings for you can make him anxious if he likes you and doesn't know if you like him too. This anxiety can be seen in body language. If you notice some conflicting signs of attraction and disinterest, it may be that the two of you need to talk about your feelings.
Part 3 of 3: Communicating with Him
Step 1. Get him to do something where you can concentrate on him
Arrange an event like dinner or going to a coffee shop to talk. Make sure there is plenty of time for the two of you to sit across from each other and talk things over. The best way to find out how someone is feeling is to have a conversation with them, looking at them and listening actively.
Men generally feel intimacy more from activities that are close together, such as watching movies or riding a motorbike, but this body position will make it difficult for you to read his feelings because you are not facing him and cannot listen actively during these activities
Step 2. Listen actively to what he has to say
Take a face-to-face position, and when he's speaking, lean forward slightly and maintain eye contact. This will allow you to know how he's feeling because you'll be able to see the cues he's giving in his tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language. The more information you have, the easier it will be for you to know how he feels. To improve listening skills, use the following body language and conversation techniques:
- Show that you are listening from the posture. This will encourage him to talk, and the more he talks, the more you will understand him. Nod your head to show approval or to encourage him to continue talking.
- Leave enough distance. This will also encourage him to communicate because if you give him enough distance, he will be more comfortable talking to you. If you're too close, you'll seem so interested that it's overdone, while if you're too far away, you may appear cold. Give him plenty of room to talk, but position yourself so that you can hear and see him comfortably.
- Repeat the main idea of what he is talking about. This will help you know if you understand his feelings correctly. He will also be able to correct you if you misunderstood. For example, if she's telling you about her annoying day, you might say, "So you're saying you didn't understand why your sister was acting until you saw what happened to her at school."
- Show empathy for how he feels. If you can practice empathy when interacting with him, you'll be better at reading his feelings. Empathy means that you can understand how he or she is feeling even if you don't feel it yourself. For example, you could repeat the main idea and show empathy by saying, "You can't wait to get out of the house after sitting at your desk all day."
Step 3. Ask him how he feels about you or what you are concerned about his feelings
Often the best way to find out how someone is feeling is to ask in person. That way you will stop guessing and get rid of heavy thoughts. You should listen to what he has to say, even if you think he's saying the opposite of what his body language says.
- Find a place that is safe from interference from other people or various activities. You don't need a long talk. Find an empty table or chair in a quiet place to sit for a few minutes and talk about how he feels.
- Ask if he wants to talk for a minute. Don't overwhelm him, so say you won't be long. You don't need much time to ask him how he feels. Say, "Hi, would you like to talk for a minute?"
- Think about what you want to know, especially before talking to him. Arrange your questions in your head before they are spoken. If you seem confused or hesitant when asking the question, he may not be sure how to answer, and instead give an answer that won't help you. Think first about your feelings, for example, "I'm starting to have feelings for you." Then consider what you want to know, "I want to know how you feel about me." Make sure your words are specific. For example, “Do you have feelings for me?” would be better than “Do you like me?” because “like” has multiple meanings and is too vague. He may not want to hurt your feelings and be reluctant to answer directly unless you ask him directly.
- Ask how he feels and tell him how you feel. For example, you could say, “I really enjoy spending time with you and I feel love growing in my heart. Do you feel the same too?”
- Respect her feelings, and don't be discouraged if they don't feel the same as yours. Know that your actions are courageous, and if you value their feelings, you will be satisfied with your actions. Remember that your identity and self-worth are not determined by his feelings even if you care deeply about them.
