Do you often come into contact with someone who is selfish, intolerant, rude, and arrogant? These negative traits may have been seen since the beginning of the introduction, maybe not. Don't let the outside appearance fool you! In order not to have a relationship with these kinds of people, it's a good idea to learn to be more selective in choosing friends. Trust me, they can really be a thorn in the flesh in your life.
Step
Step 1. Pay attention to the content of their conversation
There's no need to deliberately eavesdrop; when they are talking near you, listen carefully to what they are saying. Do they always talk about his life? Do they look irritated or annoyed if people's attention is distracted from them? If the answer is yes, then they are almost certainly arrogant.
- Oftentimes, arrogance and reverence indicate that these people lack experience. In their minds, the fear arose that more experienced people could 'drop them' at any moment. Instead of gaining knowledge and experience (actions that they think show a person's weakness), they actually force themselves to cram their limited experiences and perspectives on others.
- Envy of other people's lifestyles or accomplishments can also trigger arrogance; they think they can do or have something more than that person.
- Arrogant people feel the need to have a good image in the eyes of others. They will be very angry if any of your actions or words that (in their opinion) can worsen the image. This usually happens if you question (or seem dubious) their actions, words, intelligence, abilities, or anything else related to their self-image.
Step 2. Test their mindset and perspective on things
There's no need to be overly aggressive––just show your skepticism and curiosity. If they seem angry, measure their anger level. If their anger is not excessive, it could be that they are in a bad mood. But if they seem really angry or even yell at you, they may feel like you're questioning their 'perfect life'. The second reaction is an indicator of arrogance.
- At some point, people usually realize that the world doesn't just revolve around them. This is a fact that arrogant people refuse to accept. They tend to 'fight' this reality by creating a new atmosphere that revolves only around them. If anyone reminds them of the realities of life, they can get really angry.
- Confusion is the thing that arrogant people fear the most, because ambiguity provides room for imperfection, change, and uncertainty (a fact of life that we must face as much as we can). Thus, instead of accepting that life is unpredictable, they will use various means to control everything around them (which, of course, is impossible for them to do).
- Reality hurts; this is why arrogant people tend to be reluctant to introspect and find it difficult to see their flaws. When they achieve success, they will immediately praise themselves excessively and then ignore criticism and suggestions from others.
Step 3. Observe the quality of their friendship
Arrogant people usually have a hard time understanding the meaning of friendship. They can be best friends with someone today, then walk away and hate them tomorrow. This is one indicator of the presence of arrogance in a person; No one wants to be friends with someone trapped within themselves, right? People with excessively high self-esteem feel that they do not need the help of others. Being good friends with someone will require them to be 'helped' and 'assisted'. Of course they don't want it.
Ironically, arrogant people often don't understand why they don't have close, reliable friends
Step 4. Observe how they treat others who are 'different'
Observe how they treat people with different religions, cultures, and perspectives. If their attitude and response is always negative, it could be that they are being overly enthusiastic, ignorant, or trying to avoid people who have the potential to 'damage' their fantasy world. Analyze based on their characteristics and the opposite of their interactions.
Oftentimes, people with overly high self-esteem think things have to go their way. This attitude is their way of protecting the self-image they have worked so hard to show
Step 5. Observe their personality; observe their social status, as well as the way they talk and behave
Do they tend to be 'cold' and indifferent? Are they really that fussy? Are they acting like a big boss? Do they always seem to be trying hard to shape their image?
- Arrogant people usually have a 'fake' charisma that at first glance is difficult to detect. Their cruel side will only really show if they are dealing with people they don't like.
- Their friends and relatives will usually choose to remain silent when this cruel side emerges; they tend to fear being treated badly if they choose to act.
Step 6. Name the people they don't like
Do this not to spark conflict, but to gauge their rivalry and hatred of the names. Normal reactions and expressions are not indicators of arrogance. On the other hand, if their response is too harsh, they are most likely arrogant.
Oftentimes, arrogant people see people they don't like as a 'threat' to their artificial world. The greater their hatred for a person, the greater the threat that person carries. The stronger their sense of threat, the more negative their response to that person will be
Step 7. Ask other people what he thinks about you
If it turns out that he often says bad things about you, then he really doesn't like you. But if in front of you he is sweet and the opposite is behind his back, it could be that his self-esteem is the problem.
Usually, their subconscious knows that they have no friends. This fact they make up for by creating the impression that they have a lot of friends – they usually have a ‘quantity, not quality’ mentality. This is why they can easily talk bad things behind their friends' backs
Step 8. Empathize
If you like to judge arrogant people, then you are no different from them. Often, they act this way because they want to hide their vulnerabilities and fears. As a result, they feel the need to form a solid self-image. No need to take it to heart if they often feel superior to you. Stick to your stance not to get too close to them, but make sure you can (and want to) see the good qualities in them too. Sometimes, it takes people who are willing to 'break through their defenses' to free them from the fear and insecurity that has shackled them like a shield.
Behind the arrogance, usually hides an enormous sense of insecurity. As a result, they tend to overreact to suppress these fears and insecurities. For example, there is a rich businessman who is very arrogant; upon investigation, it appears that the entrepreneur was born and grew up in a very poor family. His habit of boasting most likely stems from the fear of poverty in the past that constantly haunts him
Tips
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Arrogant people too very hard to forgive others.
They will have a hard time forgiving you, especially if you question their 'fantasy world' or self-image
- Remember, there is a huge difference between assertive and arrogant behavior. There are some people who are so restless that they tend to dominate conversations to prove that they are as good (or better) than you. Observe their follow-up reactions. People who are restless or assertive will usually observe your response; they will even ask questions. On the other hand, arrogant people will completely ignore your response and perspective.
- Symptoms of arrogance that you need to watch for: intolerance to people who are 'different' from them, unable (and unwilling) to see different points of view, likes to hurl harsh criticism at people they don't like, inability to build long-term relationships length, and excessive narcissism.
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Do they often joke about people who shouldn't be joked about? It shows that they just want to be seen as funny and laughed at, regardless of how other people feel.
- People whose self-esteem is too high are usually reluctant to care about other people's feelings; they almost always have a hard time empathizing with others.
- Usually, the targets of their jokes are people who are having a hard time. However, those jokes would only be thrown at people they 'knew' would tolerate them.
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Observe their popularity. Why are they popular? Is it because they treat other people well, or because they're just 'okay enough' to be friends?
Being 'okay enough' to be friends doesn't necessarily mean they are capable of treating others well. The main factors that make someone look 'okay' are clichés: either because they are rich, good at sports, have an attractive personality (to some people, of course), or have false charisma (which sooner or later will be revealed if they are angry). Arrogant people usually have all (or some) of the above factors
- As much as possible, avoid relationships with arrogant people. As previously mentioned, they can really be a thorn in the flesh in your life. However, you can't avoid their presence, so it's a good idea to keep learning how to handle them. If you have to interact with them, don't dodge! Face it and show that you are reluctant to tolerate any form of arrogance.
- Make sure you don't act equally arrogant. Try to approach the situation objectively.
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Even though it's hard, don't hate arrogant people. Their attitude is usually triggered by past trauma that still haunts them.
Remember, they are humans too and can get hurt. The difference is, they often express sadness in the wrong (unhealthy) way. Instead of solving the problem at hand, they choose to hide it. For such people, grief and pain can be the forerunner of arrogance
- Arrogant people are almost always protecting something, either their self-image or people's attention to them. If you interfere with whatever they are protecting, prepare to be hated to death. No need to worry; it's not about you, it's about his inability to control you.
- Arrogant people usually don't have real friends. Always keep this in mind whenever you wish to be as popular as they are.
Warning
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If they attack you personally, ignore them. Responding to them will only make them feel happy and satisfied. They are trying to elevate the ego; harassing or arguing with them will only further facilitate this intention. The only thing they want is your attention, make sure you don't give it.
Even though it really depends on the communication situation that occurs, leaving them will make them look stupid. They will most likely hate you; but that's not a problem, right?
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Don't respond to their chatter about their 'perfect little world'. Show an honest reaction; you might end up helping them see things from a different perspective.
- Don't 'attack' their fantasy world directly. Instead, say things like "I don't agree with you" or "My opinion is a little different." They may stay angry, but not as angry when they feel attacked with offensive words.
- Instead of saying "If only you wanted to be more humble, you probably wouldn't think so", try asking "What made you say that?" or “Why do you defend that opinion?”. Give reactions that are straightforward, factual, and not subjective.
- Remember, arrogance can also be rooted in psychological disorders (like to be alone, closed off, or feel insecure). In some cases, arrogant people develop bipolar syndrome, borderline personality disorder, or social phobia. Various past traumas (being a victim of violence or suffering from an incurable disease) can also be a trigger. Some people are not aware that their behavior distances them from the people around them. Be careful, generalizing someone's personality and calling it arrogant is easy. But you also need to consider many things such as your mood, his mood, the social environment around him, and his living conditions. Sometimes, what they do or say has nothing to do with you. Don't assume that his actions or words are meant to upset you. Be smarter than them.
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No matter how much you want to scold or ridicule them, don't do it! Such action will not benefit anyone. Don't say stale words like "Arrogance is a bad attitude". Give a firm response and understanding; make them understand that you don't want them in your life. Act and speak wisely.
If they stab you in the back, express your objections firmly. No one – not even their 'friends' – would want to be treated like that
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Ironically, if your argument wins, they will start pretending to be the victim in front of everyone. Not only so that they feel better, but also so that you that looks bad in the eyes of others.
If they are seen as 'cool' by many people, then their pretense will actually alienate you from society. Put up a smart and 'unseen' fight if you have to deal with these kinds of people and their followers
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If you feel like you have to pour your heart out to other people, choose people you can really trust. Major conflicts can occur if your story is spread out.
Most likely, they won't be able to understand your dislike. If they start acting rude, ignore them. But if you feel the need to act, take a bold and smart move
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One of the symptoms of antisocial personality disorder (antisocial personality disorder) such as psychopaths and sociopaths is: arrogance and inability to respect the rights of others. This is one of the dangerous sides of arrogant people. If you (for whatever reason) are forced to live with these kinds of people, ask for professional help.
This is why arrogant people are prone to end up as criminals
