Wine snob. Book snob. A snob who thinks their job, dress, or outlook on life is better than yours. Sometimes, there's nothing more upsetting than someone looking down on you because they think your views and way of life are inferior to theirs. When dealing with arrogant people, the most important thing you can do is maintain your confidence and don't let them influence you. Plus, if you're willing to put in the effort, you can get the snob to change and see that your perspective is right. But if the person is completely unbearable, you can also find ways to deal with them.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Stick to Your Stand
Step 1. Don't compete with them
You may think that fighting fire with fire is the best way to brag, but the worst thing you can do is do the same. If the snobs in your circle keep talking about their lavish vacation to Milan, there's no point in trying to say that you've been there too, or that you like France more than Milan. This will only make the snob more willing to prove you wrong and show that his life is better than yours. Instead, listen to this person without feeling the need to point out that what you do is better or that you're cool too.
Even if you really want to show how expensive your bag, wine, or painting is, this is pointless. Arrogance can never be defeated by arrogance, and you will only make yourself look bad while alienating non-arrogant people around you
Step 2. Kill with kindness
You may find it easier to breathe underwater than either to a snob. However, when you're dealing with a mean, surly, and unpleasant person, sometimes the best thing you can do is smile and say, "Hello, how are you?" The arrogant person may be surprised that he is not used to being treated so well and may surprise you by being kind too. If being nice to an arrogant person doesn't work out well, you've at least tried everything before deciding that the person is really arrogant.
If the snob continues to act like you don't exist, you can even cheerfully say, "Hi!" followed by the snob's name when passing. This will surprise him – and also make you laugh
Step 3. Maintain your confidence
Don't let arrogant people make you feel inferior or make you feel like you don't know anything. If you doubt yourself, it will only make things worse and give the snob the freedom to make you feel bad. If you're insecure, slow to respond, or speak quietly because you're afraid to share ideas, the snob will take advantage of it and will only make you feel worse. Instead, speak in a firm voice and use facts to back up your ideas, showing that you're not afraid to state them.
Maybe you're not good at something and the snob is trying to gently educate you, but it's different when you talk about something you believe in. Don't let snobs make you doubt how many wins the Lakers have won if you're positive that you know the answer; however, if a snob who's spent ten years making wine says something you don't know about pinot noir, you may as well listen if you don't feel condescending
Step 4. Don't mock their taste buds
Remember the part that you can't do the same thing? Arrogant people not only have strong opinions, they don't like to be challenged. Doing the same thing as them will only make them more sure of their opinion, and it will irritate them that you are involved. Because they are used to arguing and bragging, they will come back to argue and mock your taste buds doubly worse, and that is something you want to avoid.
Instead of saying that the snob has bad taste, you can simply say something you like in a nice way. You could say something like, “I haven't seen Sherlock yet, but I really like True Detective. Have you watched it?” This is better than saying something like, “The show is for losers. True Detective is the best show and everyone knows that.”
Step 5. Talk to them about the behavior if you know them well
If you're forced to spend a lot of time with an arrogant person, or even one of those people is your friend because you like something else about him or her, now might be the time to talk about the bad behavior to see if the person can change. You shouldn't immediately say that he's a snob, but you can say something like, “You know, you often say that the way you do things is the best way. It hurts my feelings.” While this isn't easy to say, it can help the person change, if he or she is willing to do so.
If you're afraid to use yourself as an example, you could say something like, “You really hurt Ashley's feelings when you said her shoes looked cheap. I don't think comments like that are helpful."
Step 6. Make them see that they can't hurt you
Another way to deal with arrogant people is to show that you are not swayed by their insults. If they're mocking you, saying you're inferior, or simply trying to belittle you and those around you, you should make sure not to flinch or respond when they're mean, or even roll your eyes if necessary. If the snob wants to start a beer fight, just shrug and don't get involved. Show that you are happy to be who you are and nothing being arrogant can change that.
- If you're on the verge of crying, just say excuse me and get out for a bit or say you need to pick up a phone call. Don't let them see that you are sad.
- Don't spend your time complaining about them to other people, either. They will know it and it will give them strength.
Part 2 of 3: Conquer Them
Step 1. Find common ground
One way to conquer a snob is to find something you both agree on or something you both have in common. It's possible that you were both born and raised in Poughkeepsie, New York. Maybe you are both huge Maria Sharapove fans. Maybe you both like to make your own pasta. As you spend more time with the snob, drill down into the conversation to see if there's anything in common. The snob will start to see you as someone who shares your interests and will see you as someone with great taste.
- If you find common ground, you can even impress the snob with your knowledge of the subject.
- You may have to dig yourself out if you really feel that you and the snob have something in common. If you have a mutual friend, see if he or she can help you. Then the next time you meet that snob, you can say something like, “I didn't know you were a Celtics fan, either. Are you from Boston?”
Step 2. Challenge their expectations of you
Arrogant people like to glycerate people to help them believe their beliefs are better. They may have a certain view of you because you grew up in a working class environment, attended Harvard, or taught Yoga. While you don't have to prove anything, if you want to be able to deal with arrogant people, sometimes the best thing you can do is show them that you're not who they think you are. It takes time to challenge one's expectations, but it's worth it.
As you help them get to know you, you may notice that they are not who you think they are, either. You may think that the person is arrogant, but you learn that the person is insecure and afraid of new people
Step 3. Educate them about what you are passionate about
While this may not be easy, one way to conquer a snob is to turn him towards something you know he will like. Maybe the person likes to brag about cakes and you know which boulangerie they will prefer; maybe he likes indie rock and you make him a CD of a Rolling Stones song that you know is going to beat him. Make an effort to show the snob that there are other fun things worth exploring.
Everything depends on delivery. You shouldn't make it sound like you're giving a better opinion. Just say something like, "Hey, if you liked Vampire Weekend, I think you're going to really like this Velvet Underground album."
Step 4. Avoid topics that might start a conflict
There are some subjects that will greatly affect a snob, and are best avoided under all circumstances. Of course, it depends on the snob you're dealing with; if you're dealing with a wine snob, don't say that you think Napa Chardonnay is the best in the world, unless you want to get a lecture on French viticulture. However, if the snob doesn't mind talking about style, sports, or even recent events, you can turn the conversation there. Everyone, even a snob, has a soft side, and you should focus on discussing subjects that won't be controversial when confronted by your snob.
If the snob really hasn't changed his mind on a subject, there's no point in arguing about it. You can talk to other people about your love for The Beatles or yoga
Step 5. Consider your audience
Of course, there will be some people who don't suit you. However, if the person is a snob, you can think about what made the arrogant person you're dealing with angry. If the snob grew up in a working-class environment and is suspicious of the rich and you have a lot of money, he may not be the one to talk to about your sailing boats and luxury vacations. If he loves food, he might be the right person for you to run to Chipotle. If you avoid talking about hats that will annoy or offend the snob, you are more likely to conquer them.
While you don't have to completely change what you're talking about in order to subdue the snob, remembering his or her prejudices and experiences as you speak will help the conversation to be more positive
Step 6. Don't go back to being arrogant about it
The worst thing you can do is be arrogant towards a snob. If all else fails, you can simply ignore the snob, but you don't have to go back to being arrogant. Don't try to mock the snob's taste buds, lift your nose at him, be unfriendly, or belittle anything. This is not going to be fun for you or anyone around you, and you don't want the snob pulling you down with him.
Part 3 of 3: Don't Let Them Influence You
Step 1. Take pity on them
If all else fails, you can approach the situation with an empathetic perspective. If you've been nice to the arrogant person, tried to change his expectations, and even introduced him to a new restaurant, coffee brand, or clothing brand that you think he'll like and you've gotten nothing in return but cruelty, the best thing you can do is accept it. defeat and pity the arrogant person. See that the person is actually insecure, socially unconscious, and so eager to prove that he knows best that in the end, his life will be gloomy, lonely, and miserable. This can make you feel better about being a more sensible person and unable to relate to the snob.
Think about it: isn't your life a lot easier because you are able to have conversations without making other people feel bad? Think of the difficulties a snob faces in everyday interactions – even if it's his own fault, it's still depressing
Step 2. Make sure they are really cocky, not shy or clumsy
Many people who are shy, clumsy, or insecure are mistaken for snobs. You may think that the person thinks he or she is better than you simply because he or she is reluctant to talk, is more reserved, and distances herself when you try to be nice to her. Some people are very shy and find it difficult to relate to new people; this may seem arrogant, but in truth, the person may be very kind. Get to know the person better before you make a final judgment.
If the snob is close friends with a few people you think are normal and nice, it's possible that he only opens up to a few people. Think thoroughly before making a final decision
Step 3. Avoid them as much as possible
Another tactic to avoid being influenced by arrogant people is to simply avoid being with them as much as possible. If you know the snob is going to a small party you're going to and being around her will spoil your mood, don't come. If you know the snob will be in the kitchen at work, eat lunch outside. Of course, you shouldn't let a snob win and stop doing what you love just to get away with it, but if being around the snob is really putting you down, avoiding him might be the best option.
If you don't want to let the snob affect your schedule, think of strategic ways to avoid them while in the same room. You can pretend to be busy on your phone, actively engaged in conversation with other people, or even move to another circle of conversation while at a party
Step 4. Don't let them affect your self-image
If you have to spend a lot of time around the snob socially and on the job, you have to learn to let their comments not affect you. No other human can dictate your self-esteem or make you feel inferior. You are only inferior if you feel that way, and you are the only person who has the power to control your self-image. If arrogant people are pulling you down, it's important to remind yourself of all the things that make you feel good.
List all the qualities you like about yourself, and all the compliments others have given you. Just because one person is mean to you doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you – in fact, there's a good chance that something is wrong with him or her
Step 5. Ignore if necessary
While ignoring someone isn't the most mature way, if you've tried all the ways and the snob is still evil, that's also immature. If you are forced to be around the person but no longer care about making a good impression, the best thing you can do is roll your eyes and not get involved with the snob. You don't have to pretend they don't exist, but you can mentally tell yourself that you really don't care about this person. This can help you avoid getting involved with their arrogance or wasting your energy arguing with them.
If you're in a group with the snob, don't make eye contact or engage with them. Focus on what the other person is saying
Step 6. Remember all the non-cocky people you like
If the snob in your life brings you down, just remember all the people you like, care about, and make you feel comfortable around them. Even if one person makes you feel ugly, poor, or stupid it doesn't mean that a word of what he or she is saying is true. Think of all the people in your life who appreciate you and make you feel good, and don't let one bad person influence you. Instead, spend time with people you love and care about, and you will see that you will feel better about the world and yourself.
You could even discuss something the snob said with one of your close friends, if that would make you feel better. While you shouldn't give a snob power by talking about it too much, if you just want to make sure the snob is really annoying with one of your close friends, you can talk about it. Your friends will convince you that you are really cool and that the snob has nothing to brag about
Tips
- You don't have to ask about him. He will talk about himself.
- Don't try to please him, but being nice doesn't hurt.
- Some people may appear arrogant; but really, they are just shy, or confused.
- Give a bad look and ignore then walk away and don't come back.
