Life is so much fun because you have good and fun roommates! The daily routine goes smoothly without a hitch, but suddenly, you realize that something is different. It turns out, you always think about it and every chance you get, you keep telling stories about your housemate even though you didn't expect to be attracted to him. To keep you friends, apply the following tips to solve this problem for the common good.
Step
Part 1 of 5: Confirming How You Feel
Step 1. Set aside time for reflection
Maybe you actually just feel grateful and happy because you live at home and often meet good friends who can be friends to chat with. If this is how you feel for 1-2 months, you can make friends because you don't fall in love with him.
Think about why you want to approach. What attracted you to him? Do you have the same virtues and beliefs? If you like it for a valid reason, fine. However, your thinking is wrong if you want to approach him so that there is always someone who provides physical and emotional support
Step 2. Don't express your feelings right away
Maybe you want to be honest about how you feel, but make sure the moment is right. For now, try to figure out why you like him.
If you want to speak your mind, make sure you speak while thinking clearly and logically. For that, take time to determine how you really feel
Step 3. Don't ignore it
Usually, liking someone is very difficult to hide when talking to them. Therefore, act as if nothing happened.
- Do your daily routine as usual. If your behavior is strange, he may suspect that you are hiding something or may be worried that he may have done something wrong.
- Keep in mind that this is not a long term solution. By acting like nothing happened, you still have time to reflect on your feelings and decide what to do without causing trouble or making rash decisions.
Part 2 of 5: Determining the Next Step
Step 1. Make sure you don't clap your hands
The next action that needs to be taken because you are attracted to a roommate can be determined after you know whether or not he really likes you. For that, watch for signs that can show his feelings for you. If you're worried about being rejected, you want to express your feelings to him, but don't expect him to reciprocate.
- Be honest with yourself. When we like someone, we tend to think of them as an ideal partner. If you're in doubt, chances are he's not interested in you.
- What message is he trying to convey to you through his body language? When you chat, does he often smile? Does he look cheerful and laugh a lot? When he talks to you, does he give you his full attention or look elsewhere? People who like you will make eye contact and give your full attention when interacting with you.
- Does he already have a girlfriend or does he often talk about someone? If he already has a girlfriend, don't interfere with their relationship. If he talks about someone a lot or he has told you that he likes someone else, this is a sign that he is not interested in you.
Step 2. Determine the next step
Consider moving or staying in a lodge. Ask yourself: would you be able to afford it if the new accommodation costs more? Have you been looking for a new lodge? are you ready to move? If the answer is "no," keep your feelings under wraps at least until you're ready to move on.
- If you express your feelings, he may decide to move house or reject you. Be prepared for this if you can't hide your feelings.
- If the two of you share certain expenses, can you pay for it yourself if he changes rooms? If not, you will have to find new friends so that the costs can be shared.
Step 3. Prepare a plan to move house
Whether you want to express your feelings or not, prepare a plan to move house if you are stressed and upset by this situation. If you want to speak candidly, this step is very important because you will have to move immediately if he asks you to.
- What is the condition of the cottage you currently live in? If you live in a big city, the need for boarding rooms is very high, so the rates are relatively expensive and very few accommodations are empty. When looking for a new accommodation, consider these conditions and how long it will take before you can move.
- Consider staying at a friend's or relative's house. This step can be a solution when you feel pressured and awkward if you don't move, but haven't found a new place to stay. You can find a new accommodation while overcoming your disappointment if you can stay at a friend's or relative's house for a few weeks.
- Contact the campus hostel administrator. If you live in a campus dormitory, find out other options by contacting the administrator. He is in charge of taking care of the hostel so that all residents feel calm and comfortable. Maybe it can help if you honestly explain what's going on. Tell him that you like your dorm mates and haven't decided anything yet, but that you'd like to change houses if necessary.
Part 3 of 5: Preparing for a Transfer
Step 1. Decide whether or not you need to change lodges
There are many things to consider before moving on, but if your feelings for your roommate continue to bother you, it's best to find a new one.
- If he also likes you when you express your heart, living in the same cabin makes the relationship even closer.
- If you express your feelings, but he refuses, it's better for you to move so you can overcome the disappointment and not feel awkward because you still live with him.
- If you've been hiding your feelings all this time, the decision to move to a hostel eliminates the awkward feeling when you express your feelings. In addition, he can consider your feelings before giving an answer.
Step 2. Explain to him why you want to move
After expressing your feelings, be honest about why you want to move, for example: "Honestly, I've liked you for a long time. I'd better move so I can feel more at ease." If you want to keep it a secret, find another reason. If you want to remain good friends so that you can approach them, explain that you moved of your own accord.
- If you have to make excuses, tell him that you can't afford the monthly fees and have found a cheaper accommodation.
- In addition, you may give an excuse that the distance between the hostel and the office or school is too far.
- If you can afford to rent a house, tell him that you want to live alone.
- Convey the plan to move the cottage in person. If he doesn't know that you like him, he may be very surprised to hear that you want to move. Be careful when telling him this plan so he doesn't feel blamed.
Step 3. Make a schedule before moving, then let him know
If you haven't found a new lodge yet, set a time limit for moving, for example a few weeks or a few months depending on the location and how difficult it is to find a new one. In addition, he still had time to make new friends or move to a new boarding house.
Stick to a consistent schedule. Tell him what date you're moving so he can make new friends. In addition, you seem to really want to carry out this decision
Step 4. Maintain a good relationship with him
In any case, keep interacting with him after moving to a new cabin. Remember that none of this is his fault so you like him.
Don't keep in contact with him if you get one-sided, but don't let him feel guilty
Part 4 of 5: Hiding Feelings
Step 1. Work on a platonic relationship with him
If you have to hide your feelings, accept the fact that your relationship is just friends. This way, you can build friendships and overcome disappointments.
- Too long hiding feelings can trigger stress and burden the mind. Consider the best way to deal with an unpleasant situation like this, either by expressing your feelings or moving house to relax your mind.
- Remember that feelings can change. Don't be in a hurry to make a decision. Over time, maybe you meet someone else who is more interesting or someone expresses their feelings for you.
- Don't blame the roommate. You will feel annoyed if you can't accept the situation because this is not anyone's fault. Don't blame yourself or get mad at him. Accept the fact that you like him.
- Consider moving house if you can't handle the burden of thinking.
Step 2. Try to keep some distance
If you want to hide your feelings, reduce your interactions with them so you don't feel upset. However, do not stay away from it so that the relationship is not problematic.
- For example, if you often travel alone, invite friends so you don't get too close.
- Don't do activities like you're on a "date," such as watching a movie, eating out at a restaurant, or going to the mall together. This activity makes you like it more and more upset.
Step 3. Do activities outside the home
Use your free time to hang out with friends or develop a new hobby. Spend time outdoors by working part-time or studying alone in the library. In addition to doing activities that are beneficial for yourself, you can control your feelings and make wise decisions.
Use online dating apps to make new friends so you can get out of the house. Maybe you meet someone more interesting
Part 5 of 5: Expressing Your Feelings to Him
Step 1. Tell me honestly how you feel
You can express your feelings spontaneously while chatting with him or wait for the right moment when you are ready.
- Express your feelings in person or over the phone. Don't send messages via WA or email so you don't get nervous waiting for an answer. If he's reluctant to respond, he may just ignore it so you have doubts that your message didn't get through.
- When expressing your feelings, let him know that you are ready to move on. For example, "We've always been good friends, but I want to be honest about my feelings. I'll move if you mind me staying here. Whatever you decide, I'll accept."
- If you want to be honest about how you feel, take her out to dinner or lunch at a restaurant (to keep the two of you neutral). Tell him that you have something important to say and hope that you will remain friends no matter what the decision. Explain that you want to have a discussion to determine the best solution for both parties. Be prepared to accept the reality if you clap one hand.
- If you want to wait for the right moment, be patient until he complains about his ex-girlfriend being annoying. Take advantage of the situation to ask, "What if I were your girlfriend?" At this point, he may think you're just joking. Try to reassure him that you mean it by continuing, "I seriously want to ask you out on a date."
Step 2. Give him a chance to think
There is a possibility, he said that he needs to consider before making a decision. So, let him think in peace. In the meantime, stick to your usual attitude when you meet her so she feels comfortable expressing her feelings honestly.
Make sure you don't meet. Make sure he knows that you are patiently waiting as he thinks and will stay at the lodge for a few days. If you feel uncomfortable, do activities outside the house as often as possible or stay in your room when you are at home
Step 3. Respect the decision
Hopefully he will answer soon, but you have to be patient. Hopefully, he will give you the answer you want, but be prepared to accept the reality if he refuses, even asking you to change accommodations. Show him respect, no matter what he says.
- If the feelings are the same, dreams come true! Be grateful! At this point, you need to discuss the next steps. The more important thing is to determine whether or not one of you needs to move boarding. Also, make sure you are able to give a wise response if he refuses.
- If he doesn't like you, accept it gracefully. Don't be angry or cry. Tell him, "I'm sad, but I understand how you feel." If this is the case, think about how to deal with the disappointment of living with him or whether or not you should move. Whatever the decision, you should discuss this plan with him.
- If you get rejected, remind yourself that at least you know the decision so you're relieved to have received an answer from him.
Tips
Be patient while watching the situation develop. Maybe you immediately "fall in love" when you meet a new friend because you imagine beautiful things with him. This feeling is not necessarily true love even though it may seem like this at first. Sometimes, attraction appears unconsciously because you really admire him, but this feeling will go away on its own
Warning
- Don't act rashly, for example, you suddenly kiss him. Relationships will be in trouble if you do this, especially if he doesn't like you.
- Life is not a sitcom or a romance drama. Don't dream that your life will run smoothly so you won't be disappointed.
