In married life, sometimes we need a break mentally. Marriage can be stressful for us, and bad habits and moods sometimes need to be ignored. There are many tactics you can use to ignore your husband if necessary. However, remember that keeping your husband silent for a long time can damage the relationship. If there's an underlying problem that's bothering you, take steps to solve it, not just ignore it.
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Part 1 of 3: Ignoring Husbands in a Healthy Way
Step 1. Ignore your husband's bad mood
If your husband is angry or in a bad mood, sometimes you should stay away. Angry people are usually impossible to talk to. In this situation, it's better and healthier to just ignore him until he calms down.
- Usually, bad moods make people look for fights. If your husband is having a bad day at work, he may overreact to your little faux pas. If you know your husband is in a bad mood, don't be offended if he yells.
- If your husband is angry and trying to start an argument, the best response is to stay quiet. Ignoring the provocation may feel like defeat. However, it is actually more productive. An angry person won't listen to logic or reason, and won't soften up even if you apologize or defend yourself. If your husband is trying to get you into an argument, keep it short, like "Yes" or "Okay" until he gives in and leaves you alone.
- This is not a long term solution. At this point, ignoring your husband's anger is the right solution, but it shouldn't be done all the time. Every now and then, anyone will lose control and get angry at their partner for a bad day or mood. However, it would be a serious problem if it happened frequently. If your husband is temperamental, you should talk to him about this behavior.
Step 2. Bring your anger to sleep
If you and your husband fight all night, sometimes it's best to just sleep. Try to ignore all bad feelings and go to sleep. If you're still angry in the morning, talk about it when you're both calm.
- If it's late at night and your husband still wants to argue, say that you want to sleep. Try to ignore anything he says in an attempt to make you angry or frustrated. You can try relaxation techniques, such as flexing your toes, deep breathing, or counting. This technique will help you ignore the situation and fall asleep faster.
- In an argument that continues late into the night, both of you are likely to say something you didn't mean. Your brain starts to weaken when you're tired, so your frustration will be harder to explain to your partner. You will be more irritable late at night. In the morning, you will have a more positive outlook and be better prepared to solve problems and make amends.
Step 3. Learn to accept some bad habits
Everyone has bad habits. Oftentimes, we are not even aware that some of our behavior irritates others. If your husband has a habit or tendency that irritates you, it's best to ignore it rather than try to change it.
- Unfortunately, there are bad habits that cannot be changed. Your husband may always forget to throw away the empty orange juice box even though you have reminded him dozens of times. In this case, it might be better for you to do it yourself. If you accept your husband's bad habits, it will be easier for you to ignore them.
- You can also try to settle for half a win in some situations. For example, your husband may never remember to dry the towels after every shower, but he may just stop putting them on the bedroom floor.
- Don't be distracted by annoying bad behavior. You don't have to be offended. Bad habits, like leaving a light on in an empty room, are just bad habits. It has nothing to do with his appreciation or respect for you.
Step 4. Divert attention
If you find it difficult to ignore your husband, keep yourself busy. Sometimes, the best way to deal with annoyance is to distract yourself. You could read a book, ride a bike, try a new hobby, or clean the house. There are many things you can do to distract yourself from your husband for a few hours. This can help you ignore him, and when you're ready, talk about the problem or situation at hand.
Step 5. Try to be polite, but formal
If you feel the need to ignore your husband for a while, there's no need to be hostile. There are ways to politely ignore someone. It is a more mature way of dealing with tensions in a marriage.
- If your husband is in the room, acknowledge his presence in a formal way. You may normally be relaxed at home, but when ignoring your husband, try to be as polite as the people you meet at parties. Nod your head when he's talking, smile if that's the right reaction, but don't engage in small talk or other talk.
- You can also try avoiding the same room. For example, moving into the bedroom if he is in the living room, you can also leave him with a short and formal goodbye. For example, say, "If you don't mind, I'd like to go up."
Step 6. Use indirect communication
If you don't want to talk, try indirect communication. However, silence is a cruel option and is generally not effective in resolving disputes. If you're annoyed with your husband and feel the need to ignore him, find another way of communicating so he doesn't get confused. You can text or leave notes without actually speaking.
Let them know in advance that you're annoyed about something and need some space to yourself for a few days. If you're too angry to talk, explain it by letter or email. Don't just ignore him without warning
Step 7. Give a short response
This is another way to ignore someone without having to completely silence them. You can ignore your husband by giving a short response. For example, respond to him with "Mmmhmm" and "Okay". Such brief communication left little opportunity for conversation. This can convey that you don't want contact at all.
Part 2 of 3: Solving Deeper Problems
Step 1. Focus on yourself
If you feel the need to ignore your husband, explore those desires. In relationships, the blame for causing negative situations usually doesn't lie with just one person. It's also possible that you accidentally vent your frustration or bad mood on your husband. So, consider what is really bothering you.
- Is there a way you can change your marriage? Are you different from what you used to be? Do you sometimes play down the role of your husband? Is there a way to respond more casually to annoying behavior?
- Is there a deeper problem that's actually bothering you? If you're stressed or unhappy about something, even if it's not related to your marriage, it will show. For example, if you are unhappy at work, you may become angry easily. As a result, you may be reluctant to listen to your husband's anecdotes about his trip to the gym. If you are not satisfied with something in life, talk to your husband. Then, try to change things so that you can be happier.
Step 2. Consider whether there are problems in the marriage
However, maybe you're not the only one who feels it. If you constantly feel the urge to ignore your husband, your marriage may be in danger. Maybe your husband is talking in a way you don't like. Maybe you feel like you don't have time for the two of you anymore. Maybe you are not sexually satisfied. If you find there is a problem that you should both work on, it should be resolved. Ignoring your husband is not a reliable solution in the long term.
Step 3. Take the time to discuss the problem
Talking about big problems in a marriage can be stressful for anyone. You can try to relieve stress by planning when and where the conversation will take place.
- Choose a place free from distractions. For example, don't talk about marital problems in a crowded restaurant. Instead, sit in the living room with the television off.
- Avoid external limitations. For example, if you have a parent-teacher meeting at 7 o'clock, don't plan to talk about marriage at 6 o'clock. Choose weekday or weekend evenings that are free of external plans or commitments.
Step 4. Use "I" statements if you are bothered by something
It's important to use "I" statements when discussing troubling issues. This statement is structured in such a way as to emphasize feelings and at the same time minimize objective judgment or blame on the other party.
- The main focus of "I" statements is on how you feel about a situation. You have to take responsibility for those feelings. This will minimize judgment on the husband. You will not state objective facts about marriage. You will only express your feelings about certain situations.
- The "I" statement has 3 parts. You start with “I feel”, then state the emotion you feel, then explain why you feel that way.
- When discussing marriage, don't say, "You shouldn't get mad at me after a bad day at work." Instead, structure your sentences with "I" statements. Say, "It hurts me when you take out a bad day at work on me because I don't want a relationship that tolerates a screaming partner."
Step 5. Use nonverbal calming methods
Sometimes, it may take you a few days to recover after an argument. Maybe you've been verbally ignoring your husband for a few days of minimal conversation. However, you must make up for the lack of communication by using nonverbal reassurance. Show your love physically. Hugs and kisses when he is about to leave. Hold her hand or place your hand on her knee when sitting together. Try to make him feel like the relationship isn't falling apart even if you're both frustrated with each other.
Part 3 of 3: Avoiding Relationship Failure
Step 1. Understand what behavior to address
If you feel the need to ignore your husband, then there is a problem in the relationship. While ignoring or ignoring certain flaws is sometimes healthy, there are some negative aspects of a relationship that need to be worked out.
- If the husband has anger issues, it should be discussed. As stated above, temporarily ignoring anger is healthy. However, if your husband is used to venting his anger on you, you should talk to him.
- Addiction is a relationship poison. If your husband has a drug or alcohol problem, you should discuss treatment with him. Don't just ignore the problem.
- Infidelity should not be ignored, except in the open modern marital relationship. If you suspect your husband is unfaithful, talk to him.
Step 2. Don't overlook the good aspects
Downplaying your husband's role can do serious damage to a relationship. Even if you're frustrated with him, try to appreciate the good things he does.
- Even small jobs, like grocery shopping or taking out the trash, deserve a "thank you" and a kiss. Most people will feel a spark of happiness when they receive an expression of gratitude or love.
- Sometimes we forget to appreciate our partner if we have lived with him for a long time. Try to remember often how you would react if your husband was a stranger. You don't hesitate to say "thank you" if a stranger opens the door for you or offers you a seat on the bus. Don't forget to thank your husband.
Step 3. Don't use a silent strategy
The silence strategy involves ignoring the person who annoys you as a form of punishment. This method can poison the relationship. Silencing your husband is a passive-aggressive way to resolve issues that will only lead to misunderstanding and confusion. You should not silence your husband as a form of manipulation. If you need a few days alone, tell them how angry you are and why you aren't talking as much as you normally would.
Step 4. Don't ignore your husband for more than a few days
Remember, abandonment really hurts. Most people feel that being ignored is worse than being yelled at or confronted. If you need some alone time, that's fine. You can also ignore certain behaviors or habits. However, ignoring your husband completely will leave him hurt and confused. Do not stop communicating with your husband for more than a few days. Also, say ahead of time that you need some time or space alone. The surprise wouldn't be so great.
Step 5. Seek counselling, if necessary
Ignoring the husband indicates that there are problems in the marriage. If the urge to ignore your husband is frequent, talk to him about counseling with a qualified marriage counselor. A good counselor can provide tips and tricks to get your marriage back to normal. You can see a marriage counselor from the list of therapists that insurance provides. You can also ask for a referral from a doctor or therapist.
