Being a good boyfriend is not easy, even if your partner is a very amazing girl. A good boyfriend knows when to talk, when to listen, when to provide advice, and when to sympathize. A good boyfriend should also know when it's a good time to pay attention and when to give yourself some time. You need to be able to be someone she trusts and admires, and be the man she wants to be a better partner. A good boyfriend can adapt to situations and knows that the task will never be done.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Expressing and Sharing Feelings
Step 1. Be honest
In every relationship, and only with very rare exceptions, honesty is paramount. If you're honest from the start of the relationship, chances are you won't have as many problems in the future.
- You have to tell your partner what they need to know without overwhelming them with too many details. For example, if you've had a serious relationship in the past, you can talk about it without revealing much about your ex.
- Balance your honesty with kindness. Don't feel like you have to always respond to your partner with compliments. However, provide an alternative. For example, if he asks if you like the clothes he's about to buy, say that it's a good choice, but that you prefer blue because it matches the color of his eyes.
- You not only have to be honest, but you also have to be able to accept his honesty. If you want to be a good boyfriend, you better accept reality.
Step 2. Trust
Trust your partner and give them reasons to trust you. Trust should be the basis of the relationship. This will help create a more open relationship with each other, as well as to understand what he wants, feels and needs.
- You can show trust in your partner by telling them something about yourself that most people don't know.
- You can win her trust by showing that you care and sympathize if she tells her something personal and important to her.
Step 3. Develop a balanced conversation
Try to make sure the conversation flows from both directions if you're chatting with your partner. If you are too quiet, he may think that you are no longer interested in him. If you talk too much, he could think you're self-obsessed or have no manners.
- The essence of conversation is give and take. This also applies in relationships. Both will never work if it only goes one way.
- Of course there will be situations where you talk more (for example when there is an interesting or important event) or talk less (for example when there is a bad event). However, in general, try to keep your conversation balanced.
Step 4. Be a good listener
Instead of thinking about what you're going to say next, or thinking about something else entirely, focus on listening to him. Think about what he said. Show interest and fully involve yourself in the conversation.
- Remember, a conversation with a partner is not only listening, but also remembering. If he tells about an important experience, jot it down in your head.
- If he says something three times and you don't understand what he's talking about because you didn't really hear him, he'll know and won't be happy.
- "Listen" as well as nonverbal "words". Learn to know when someone is bothering him, even if he doesn't say anything. Can you tell what's really going on from his facial expressions, body language, or even the way he twists his hair?
Step 5. Learn to compromise
Compromise is a big part of successful communication. If you and your partner can't disagree without getting into a big fight or one of you immediately relents, then there's a problem in your relationship. In order to compromise, you need to be able to talk about your needs and wants and at the same time understand their wants, not ignore them.
- After discussing your thoughts on a particular situation, you can make a list of pros and cons together and decide what is best for both of you.
- Sometimes, you or your partner have to give in. It doesn't matter, as long as it's done alternately. For example, if on a date he chooses a movie to watch, you choose where to eat.
- Part of learning to compromise is to use a calm, composed voice even when you're having a disagreement. Never yell, swear, or (under any circumstances) hit him, no matter how angry you are. Step away for a while if you have to, then come back when you can speak rationally.
Step 6. Provide support
You can show support by being by his side, listening attentively and showing interest in what he has to say. When you're together, try to understand their needs. By providing support, you are helping to strengthen a sense of security and reciprocity in the relationship. And if you support his goals and dreams, he will support yours too.
- Accompany him when he has to study for an important exam or apply for college, or when he is stressed about other things that could affect his future
- If he's very busy, you should be by his side to help with little things, like buying him lunch or dropping him off, to make his day easier.
Step 7. Give sympathy
What matters to your partner should also mean something to you. It's okay if you're not interested in something if it wasn't for him-the whole point of a relationship is sharing experiences and supporting each other. When he's sad, try to put yourself in his shoes and understand what makes him feel that way. Don't belittle his feelings because you think it's "no big deal."
- Make sure you're listening and show your sincerity while calming him down. If you don't feel completely sorry, try changing the way you think. Think of things from his point of view.
- Sometimes, he just wanted to cry and be comforted. Don't try to fix the problem right away. Instead, wait until he's done venting before talking about something practical.
- If she's upset, you should ask, "Would you like to talk about it?" Make him see that you really care. If he's not ready to talk, don't push.
Method 2 of 2: Showing Affection
Step 1. Show affection often
Show that you love him by giving him affectionate attention. Touches, hugs, kisses and perhaps affection in public are some ways to connect with your partner through physical affection.
- Don't overdo it, don't make it uncomfortable. Remember to read his cues, and if he's not in the mood, don't kiss him.
- A light touch is usually very much appreciated. If he's the romantic type, say "I miss you…" when you meet him, then wrap your arms around his hips and then hug him affectionately.
- If he likes it, try giving him a light kiss on the lips/cheek/forehead/neck just to show that you really appreciate his presence. Or hold her and bring her hand to your lips for a kiss.
- If you're not sure if he likes being affectionate in public, take slow steps to start. Believe it or not, not all girls enjoy holding hands.
Step 2. Appreciate her appearance
Give her extra compliments when she's trying to look pretty, but also make sure she knows that she can relax and be herself when she's with you. Don't make her feel like she has to be perfect all the time. You have to let her know she looks beautiful either after an hour of dressing up or when she just woke up.
- If she gets a new haircut or wears a new outfit, show that you notice and tell her that she looks awesome.
- Appreciating someone's appearance is not just the impression that may be displayed. When you truly love someone, they will look beautiful in your eyes no matter the situation. If you feel this way, tell him.
Step 3. Praise him sincerely
You should compliment your partner as often as possible, but not to the point that it annoys him or her. Compliment him not only for his appearance, but also for his personality. That way, he'll know that you care about how he looks as well as what's inside him. He will be more confident when you give him reason to be confident with your compliments.
- Give unusual compliments. For example, don't just say "You look beautiful." Instead, say "That dress makes your eyes shine even more" or "Your haircut suits your face shape." The more specific, the more unique and appreciative.
- Even simple and seemingly silly compliments count. Saying "Your handwriting is great" or "You're really good at parallel parking" can boost her self-confidence when she's sincere. Compliments like that also show that you care about him.
Step 4. Give him a gift, either on a special day or any time for no particular reason
Healthy relationships don't just depend on gifts, however expensive they may be. However, giving him a special and meaningful gift can show your endless interest, care, and affection.
- Think about what gifts you would give for your birthday, Valentine's Day, Christmas, or your relationship anniversary, as well as any other special occasion. Choose a gift that is appropriate and meaningful. Gifts don't have to be expensive, just consider their personality and preferences.
- Consider giving her a special touch, like adding her name on a necklace, or giving her a pendant that symbolizes something she likes, like snowflakes if she likes snow or musical notes if she likes playing music.
- See if he's showing an interest in something if you're with him. Maybe he mentioned something he likes when the two of you are passing the store, or something he'd like to try, like horseback riding. Don't just think about physical goods-sometimes the gifts of experiences are far more interesting and enjoyable than goods.
- Every now and then, give him gifts for no particular reason. Buy or prepare something now and then give it to him just because you're "thinking about him." This kind of gift has a great impact because it is unexpected and surprising.
Step 5. Color your relationship with spontaneity
Even though familiarity is the most comfortable aspect of a relationship, try not to fall into the same routine every time. There may be one or two regular activities that you both enjoy doing, but don't just do those regular activities.
- Try visiting new places, trying new activities and going to parts of the city you are not used to. Even if the new activity doesn't make the changes you'd hoped for, at least the two of you share the same experience and get to know each other better.
- By making variations, your relationship's appeal will last and it's always refreshing to go out together. You also create shared memories that will outlast the experience itself.
- Surprise your partner by doing something different once in a while-the surprise could be anything, starting a race with your partner somewhere, dancing without music, or bringing them Legos and encouraging them to make something that symbolizes you and him.
- Take an impromptu trip. You can select a location beforehand and ask him to pack without saying his destination. Of course you have to understand your partner well when planning this trip. Maybe he likes mystery and the fun of going somewhere unknown, maybe he doesn't.
- If he ever says he's never been to a national park or a quirky town not far from where you live, take him there without telling him where he's going. He will love the spontaneity and the fact that you really listen to him.
Step 6. Watch yourself
Let your partner know that he or she is needed, valued, and meaningful, but don't be too dependent. Keep your body clean and tidy, have goals, and work hard. You can't be a good boyfriend if you can't take responsibility for yourself.
- Respect how you look and how you present yourself to the world. Looking good (both in physical appearance and more importantly how you carry yourself) will also make a good impression on him, and he will appreciate that.
- He won't enjoy the relationship if he feels like he has to nag you all the time to do a thing or two. He wants to pay attention to you, but doesn't want to play the role of a mother.
Step 7. Give him (and yourself) some personal space
Just because your partner is important to you, doesn't mean he's yours, as if you deserve anything from him. You don't have to stick to him all the time for a relationship to be beautiful. In fact, if you let him pursue his interests and hang out with his friends without checking in every five seconds, he'll like you even more.
- Find a balance between spending time alone, with friends, and spending time alone.
- Spending time with each other will make both of you appreciate each other's presence when you see each other again.
- Having different social schedules will also give you something to "report" when you meet.
- Follow each other's interests. Continue with hobbies, sports, or interests that you had before meeting your partner. While it's fun to do activities you both enjoy, don't force him to watch a football game if he doesn't like it, and you don't need to do yoga with him unless you really want to try.
- Pursuing each other's interests will maintain your awareness as an individual. Develop separately so you can both grow together.
Tips
- If you start to get jealous when he's talking to someone else, don't get frustrated or angry. It will only make him feel like you are obsessed with him. Talk about your jealousy, most likely he will change.
- Be yourself. That's the reason that keeps him with you.
- Say what you feel. If you're upset, angry, or happy, tell him. It is a woman's nature to love to help her partner to feel better when there is a problem.
- When you have problems in your relationship, focus on fixing them, not deciding who is right.
- Remember that he must have told his friends. If you don't know what gift he wants, ask his friends. Chances are they know everything about your partner, from dream dates, favorite places, favorite brands, to what he hates the most. However, don't ask what's wrong with your partner if the two of you are fighting, his friends will likely side with him and your words will be conveyed. Treat her friends well, because if they don't like you, they may be suggesting she's not with you.
- If your partner is angry, don't let him sleep with anger. Talk about the problem to find out why he's angry. That's when he knows how much you care for him.
- If your partner doesn't like your girlfriend, show her that she doesn't have to worry and you'll stay loyal.
- Don't rush into a relationship, take slow but sure steps.
- Ask him what he likes about you and show him that side of you that he likes. For example, if he likes your smile, smile more often. If he enjoys racing with you, challenge him and match his speed, then slow down and catch up to him, then pass and then come back. He will appreciate you even more for doing little things to make him happy.
- If another guy is flirting with her, respond by joking or teasing her, but not in a harsh manner. It will only make him feel like you are angry.
- Believe in yourself. It will help him to believe in you too. In addition, some women like a little arrogance. But don't overdo it.
- Don't make him doubt you in any way.
Warning
- Don't embarrass him. Most people feel embarrassed when their partners talk about underwear, body hygiene, sex, and so on in public. Remember, these things may interest you, but they are not something to talk about in public. Also, don't tell funny stories about him without his permission, especially if he tries to stop you, don't continue. It will hurt her feelings because it shows that comforting your friend is more important than caring for your feelings.
- If he's angry, don't yell back. Calm him down and resolve the matter peacefully. That way everything will be under control and problems will be resolved without much conflict.
- Don't stick too much. He wants personal space just as much as you do. If he wants to hang out with his friends, or do something other than meet you, let him.
- Don't blame him for his family's actions. No one can control what the family says or does. You might say that his family's attitude bothered you, but then don't talk about it anymore.
- Never say something you almost did for him but didn't for some reason. For example, say “I wanted to give you that gift, but I changed my mind” or “I almost took time off to see you but then I thought it wasn't a good idea”. He won't think you care-he'll think you don't think he's important enough.
- Don't say or do anything you'll regret, because you'll be in a bad position. If you know you're going to explode and say things you'll regret later, it's best to step away for a while. After a few hours, text him to see if he's okay and talk to him.
- If your partner sees you doing something that could be misinterpreted, don't say "It's not what you think it is" or "It's not what it seems." Hold her hand (usually she will try to pull it off) then look her in the eye and tell her you love her, and that she is the only one for you, then explain the truth.
