Everyone likes to have friends. If you have a good friend, you'll want to maintain a solid relationship with them. You may want to know what it takes to be a nice friend. To be a friend like no other, support your friend in good times and sad. Spend time with him regularly, and keep in touch even if they are far apart. Finally, develop communication skills to avoid fights and misunderstandings.
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Part 1 of 3: Supporting Friends
Step 1. Be happy for your friend's achievement
If you want to be a supportive friend, one of the most important things you can do is be happy for your friend's accomplishments. Be his biggest fan. Praise his accomplishments and try not to be envious.
- Envy makes it difficult for you to celebrate the success of others, even those you consider friends. However, it is very important that you praise him. We want to be around positive people who make us feel good. Even if you feel the sting of jealousy, try to ignore those feelings and offer sincere congratulations. You will feel better. You will find that sharing happiness for others is much lighter than bearing envy.
- Don't just congratulate yourself on a major accomplishment or achievement. You should also praise the little things he does, the things you appreciate. Remind him of his good qualities. For example, say, “I love that you always smile,” or “I appreciate how you always remember people's birthdays.”
Step 2. Listen when your friends need
Listening is the foundation of quality friendships. If you know your friend is having a bad day, offer to let her spill it on you. You don't need to provide solutions or even suggestions. Just let him express his feelings without judgment.
- If you're not sure what to say when listening, try the active listening method. This allows him to be more open to expressing himself to you. You can repeat what he says after he stops talking, encouraging him to talk at length if necessary. For example, say, "Do you feel really pressured by your sister's attitude every time she comes over?"
- It's important to remember that while listening is important, don't let your friendship go one way. If you feel like he's always asking you to listen, but is never there for you, you may need to reevaluate the friendship. Being a nice friend is important, but don't let you end up being taken advantage of because of your good nature. If you're listening to a friend, ask him or her to change listening when you need to.
Step 3. Remember important events
It's the little things that help build a strong foundation of friendship. Try to remember important events in your friend's life, such as birthdays, important anniversaries, and so on.
- Always remember his birthday. You can write reminders on your phone. No need to overdo it with expensive gifts every year. He will appreciate a call or a congratulatory card.
- Does he have another big event that is also important? Sad events are also important to remember. For example, if he has ever lost someone he loves, the date of that person's death may be difficult for him. Try to keep this in mind, and sending a consolation text will let him know that you're always there when he wants to talk.
Step 4. Have loyalty
Loyalty is a very important aspect of a strong friendship. Envy, jealousy, bitterness, and distrust are negative emotions that can affect your ability to be a loyal friend. Try to overcome these sentiments and develop underlying loyalty.
- Don't talk about your friend behind their back. Even if you are angry or irritated by something he did, try not to take your frustration out on others. Instead, try writing it down and later when you've calmed down, talk to him directly about any issues.
- Negative emotions that have a negative impact on loyalty are difficult to overcome. However, try to remember the benefits of dealing with these emotions. What is more important in the long run? Satisfy envy temporarily by badmouthing a friend, or forge a strong bond that lasts a lifetime?
- Please remember that like listening, loyalty also has its limits. While you need to be loyal to your friend and support their decisions, you don't need to be blindly loyal to someone who behaves badly. For example, if he hurts another friend's feelings, don't come out right away. You have to say frankly that for you or the other person, his behavior has gone too far.
Step 5. Apply the golden principle
The golden principle states that you should treat others the same way you would like to be treated. When interacting with friends, think for a moment about your actions. If you feel like you're not treating him well, consider how you would feel if you were treated the same way. If you don't want to be treated that way, you have to stop treating your friend that way.
Part 2 of 3: Spending Time with Friends
Step 1. Engage in shared interests
Friendships are often formed because of common interests. If there's something that brought the two of you closer to being friends, reliving those memories can help strengthen the bond you've built.
- For example, if you and she meet at a book club, try agreeing to read the same book. You can meet once a week to discuss the book. He would love to have you to share the experience.
- You can also explore interests together. For example, if you and he met on campus during Spanish classes, consider joining a Spanish club. The two of you can develop foreign language skills together.
Step 2. Prioritize friendships
Over time, friendship is sometimes sidelined. School, work, love relationships, and other commitments can strain friendships. However, if you want to be a fun friend, try to prioritize friendships in life.
- As life gets busier, realistically you won't be able to see each other every day or even every week. However, make an effort to meet regularly. You can specify a special meeting time. For example, you could agree to have dinner together every first Tuesday of the month.
- One thing to remember is that you shouldn't prioritize someone who doesn't prioritize you. Don't get caught up in one-way friendships. If you're always the one to call and make plans, you might want to cut back on contact. You can try to be a good friend to someone who appreciates your presence.
- Even if time is an issue, you can still find a way to connect. Many people can still keep in touch via social media when life gets busier. You can also call to chat if you're too busy to meet regularly.
Step 3. Laugh together
Humans tend to feel bonded when they laugh together. Your friends will love your presence even more if they can always laugh with you. Try to prioritize laughter when you meet him.
- You can both watch a funny movie or a comedy stage.
- Make each one laugh. Don't be afraid to be a little silly or funny. True friends won't judge you because you bring out an immature side.
- While laughter is important, try not to laugh at other people. Do not form friendships based on ridicule or hatred of others. People who like to laugh at or judge others with you may not be very good friends.
Step 4. Keep in touch if your friends are far apart
Unfortunately, distance can sometimes separate good friends. In this case, you should try to maintain contact. If he's moving because of school or work, talk to him on the phone or Skype regularly. You can also schedule to call once every two weeks on Thursdays, for example. You can also try to keep in touch through various social media, such as Facebook and Twitter.
Part 3 of 3: Communicating with Friends
Step 1. Avoid giving advice
You may find that being a fun friend means always telling your friend how to solve your friend's problems. However, this can make the friendship feel unbalanced. You're always the one who answers, while he's always the one with the problem. Not only that, just because he opens up to you doesn't mean he's always looking for advice. Sometimes people just want to express their feelings and don't want guidance.
- Just let him talk. Show that you are listening by giving nonverbal cues, such as smiling or nodding, to convey that you are paying attention. Repeat what he says in your own words every now and then to make sure you understand fully.
- You should also help him pitch ideas at you. Ask questions like, “What do you think should be done?” or “Do you have any ideas for following up?
- When you're worried about a decision he's making, it's okay to raise those concerns. For example, if he or she is considering doing something dangerous or illegal, please express your concern.
Step 2. Don't calculate
Pleasant friends don't make other people feel indebted. You can't count anything like who gave the best birthday present or who helped last. You should do nice things for your friends out of respect, not for the sake of it.
- Humans often create small obstacles in friendship. For example, you may feel that you shouldn't invite him over on a Sunday night because last week was your turn. In your mind, now it's his turn to invite you. However, there are people who are not good at planning and prefer to follow what others are doing. He doesn't owe you an invite because you invited him.
- Try to remember that you and your friend have different strengths. For example, you might feel like you're always the one hosting the event, but she's always the one to bring the cake and help with the cleaning.
Step 3. Tell him if he's wrong
Being a good friend means sometimes you have to tell the truth even if it hurts. You don't make a good friend if you let him repeat the same mistakes. If you see he's wrong or about to do something wrong, tell him the truth. Even if you feel bad at the time, he will appreciate your honesty in the long run.
- You don't have to be rude when you say your friend is wrong. In fact, you should say it with love. Say, "I'm worried about the way you talk about other people. I know you're better than that, and I hope you cut down on the negative habit of talking about people behind their backs.
- Tell him you care after telling him he was wrong. Say, "I'm saying this because I care about you and that kind of behavior worries me."
Step 4. Resolve conflict maturely
Conflict in friendship is unavoidable. If the two of you are close, there will be times when you or he gets irritated. When there is a conflict, try to resolve it maturely.
- If you hurt her feelings, apologize. Even if you don't mean anything bad, if he's really hurt, he deserves an "I'm sorry" statement.
- If you are angry about something he said, say it directly. Don't talk about it behind your back. That will not solve the problem and may create further tension.
