Depression is a health disorder that affects many people. If your friend is depressed, you may be confused about what to do. You can help him in various ways, such as suggesting that he get treatment or supporting him with soothing words. Read this article to learn how to help a friend with depression.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Helping Friends Recover from Depression
Step 1. Observe the symptoms of depression that your friend is experiencing
Depression can be seen from a person's behavior. If you are in doubt whether your friend is depressed, observe if your friend is experiencing any of the following symptoms:
- Feeling sad forever
- Doesn't want to do his hobbies, make friends, and/or have sex
- Feeling very tired or being slow to think, speak, or move
- Appetite increases or decreases
- Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
- Difficulty concentrating and making decisions
- Easily annoyed
- Feeling hopeless and/or pessimistic
- Weight loss or gain
- Thinking about suicide
- Having pain or digestive problems
- Feeling guilty, worthless, and/or powerless
Step 2. Encourage your friend to consult a doctor
As soon as you notice signs of depression, encourage your friend to see a doctor. Your friend may deny or be embarrassed to admit that he or she is in trouble. Because the symptoms of depression have no specific characteristics, many people don't think of it as a depressive disorder. Apathy and emotional loss are often not seen as symptoms of depression. Your friend may just need more support from you to get him to seek help.
- You can say, “I'm really worried about you. Talk to your doctor about how you've been feeling lately."
- Encourage your friend to see a psychologist as a follow-up after consulting a doctor.
Step 3. Show that you are willing to help him
Even though your friend is already seeking treatment, he or she may be feeling so overwhelmed that it is difficult to make appointments and keep them. Make sure that your friend is really getting the help he needs by continuing to support him.
- Help your friend make a consultation appointment and provide support by accompanying her to go for treatment.
- Help your friend write down the questions he or she would like to ask when consulting with the doctor.
Part 2 of 3: Providing Support
Step 1. Give your friends a boost every day
Depression can lead to low self-esteem, but you can help him restore self-esteem with words of encouragement. Say things that can excite your friend every day to show you care and make them feel important to you and to others.
- Help your friends see their strengths and successes again. You can say, “You are a great artist. I really admire your talent." Or, “I admire you for raising three children on your own. Not everyone can do it."
- Give your friend hope by reminding her that her feelings are only temporary. People who are depressed usually think things will never get better, but you can remind yourself that this isn't true, for example, "You may not believe it now, but your feelings will change later."
- Don't say, "This is all your own decision," or, "Forget about your problems!" because that judgmental statement will only make your friend more uncomfortable and could make her depression worse.
Step 2. Let your friends know that you are here to help
Depression can make people feel left out and unnoticed. Even if you've shown your concern by doing something to help her, she may only be able to believe it after hearing you tell yourself that you want to help her. Tell him that you are here to help and that he should contact you immediately if he needs help.
- Say that you are willing to help, for example, “I understand that you are currently in trouble and I am here to help. If you need help, call or text me, okay!”
- Don't be disappointed if your friend doesn't respond as you expected. People who are depressed tend to be apathetic, even to those who care about them.
- Sometimes, the best support you can give is to be with him. Spend time together watching movies or reading without talking about depression, without even expecting that he will feel good. Accept it as it is.
- Decide when you can answer phone calls or reply to SMS. Even if you really want to help a friend, don't let it take up your entire life. Make sure he knows you care about him, but if he has an emergency at night, ask him to call Halo Kemkes (local code) 500567.
Step 3. Listen to your friend if he wants to chat
Listening and trying to understand what your friend is going through is an important aspect of providing support during recovery. Let your friend share how she feels when she's ready.
- Don't force your friend to talk. Show that you are willing to listen when he is ready and make time for him.
- Pay attention as you listen to him speak. Appropriate nods and responses are ways of showing that you are listening.
- Repeating what your friend said occasionally during a conversation can be a way of showing concern.
- Don't get defensive, dominate the conversation, or end the conversation with him. Be patient, even if it is difficult at times.
- Keep trying to make your friend feel heard by saying, “Okay”, “Then”, and “Yes”.
Step 4. Recognize the signs of suicidal intent
People who are depressed sometimes want to commit suicide because they feel so hopeless and helpless. If your friend talks about suicidal thoughts, try to take it seriously. Don't assume that he won't do that, especially if there's evidence that he's already making plans. Watch out for the following signs:
- Threatening or talking about suicidal ideation
- Expressing that you don't care or don't want to be involved in anything anymore
- Giving away his belongings, making funeral preparations
- Buying a gun or other weapon
- Suddenly happy for no reason or calm after experiencing depression
- Get help right away if you recognize the behavior. Call a health professional, mental health clinic, or Halo Kemkes (local code) 500567 so you know how to handle it.
Part 3 of 3: Doing Activities With Friends Who Are Depressed
Step 1. Invite your friends to have fun by traveling together
To make your friend feel better, help her out with depression by making plans to travel together. Choose an activity that you both enjoy and make a plan so that he has something to look forward to. Make plans to do activities together, such as going to the cinema, walking in the tea garden on the weekend, or drinking coffee together.
Don't force your friend to do certain activities if they aren't ready. Be patient and keep trying
Step 2. Laugh together
Laughter is considered the best medicine for certain reasons. Recent research has shown that laughter can overcome symptoms of depression and make people with depression feel closer to others. Maybe you know better how to make your friend laugh than anyone else. Use this knowledge to make it easier to laugh.
- Be humorous when the situation is right. Don't tell jokes when your friend is complaining or crying.
- Don't despair or feel inadequate if your friend isn't laughing. People who are depressed sometimes can't feel anything, including pleasant things. However, this method can make things better with time.
Step 3. Watch for recurring symptoms of depression
Even if your friend is feeling better, he or she may not be fully recovered yet. Depression tends to recur, so this disorder can recur. People who have suffered from depression sometimes experience these attacks again. If your friend seems depressed, ask what's going on.
- You could say, “You look really tired lately. If so, can I help?”
- Provide assistance and encouragement as you have been doing for him.
Step 4. Watch yourself
Helping a friend who is struggling with depression takes hard work. In order not to experience emotional problems, you must also take good care of yourself. Set aside time for yourself at least 30 minutes every day. Use this time to focus on the things you need, pamper yourself, or do the things you enjoy. Choose activities that meet your physical, spiritual, and emotional needs. You can use this time in various ways, for example by:
- practice yoga
- take a shower or take a bath
- read a book
- record your thoughts and feelings in a journal
- meditate or pray
- take a leisurely walk or bike ride
- spending time with other people who can provide support and encouragement while you help a friend who is depressed
Tips
- Don't talk about your own problems when your friend is talking to you. This can make matters worse because your selfish attitude makes your friend feel like the problem is taken for granted. Don't try to cheer up your friend by reminding her that her life is better than everyone else's.
- Ask what your friend is experiencing in his daily life every day. Never forget it. Take time to chat with him about daily routines so he will be more open to you. Don't change how you act after learning that your friend is depressed.
- Be patient. Don't involve other friends, unless they allow it. Remind him that you are always willing to support him. Prove your own words if you say so.
- Do whatever it takes to help him. Helping a coworker, diverting his attention to things that are entertaining, avoiding or preventing him from fighting with other people can make a big difference.
- Constant stress, anxiety, and a bad mood can trigger or exacerbate depression. If your friend is experiencing this, suggest that they try to overcome it by learning stress management techniques, positive thinking, going to therapy, or doing other ways that can cope well with depression. If your friend gets a prescription for an antidepressant, let them know that they can request therapy in other ways, such as counseling, cognitive-behavioral therapy, or dialectical behavior therapy.
- Be aware that there is a misconception in society about mental disorders. Therefore, ask your friend for permission first if you want to discuss his condition with a third party. You are helping a friend, not making him the subject of gossip.
- Antidepressants, counseling, or other forms of therapy can really hurt your friend's feelings for a while. The use of drugs sometimes causes side effects and consulting a therapist can bring up problems or feelings of depression that have been buried for a long time. A person undergoing therapy for depression tends to feel depressed, but over time it will get easier. Make sure your friend knows that you are always willing to help her out when she needs your support.
- In order to find a therapist, doctor, or mental health professional, you'll need to find someone who is experienced, has a good knowledge of depression and various treatment modalities, including a personality that your friend is comfortable with. It's a good idea to do an interview about the method that will be used. Do not be afraid to change the therapist or doctor if it is not suitable. People with depression should be helped by someone who is skilled, knowledgeable, and more importantly, find a therapist who is genuinely willing to help, rather than treating your friend as an object or not listening well (which makes things worse).).
- Recovery takes a lot of effort and time. Healing may not occur in a short time, a few days, or even a few weeks, depending on how severe the depression is and the triggering factors, if any. During the recovery period, your friend may relapse for a while and this is common. Provide support if he experiences it and remind him how much progress he has made.
- If the depressed person is someone close to you, tell them how much they mean to you and show that you really care about them. Also say all the positive things that he has brought in your life and other people.
Warning
- Don't say that the problem is silly or nothing to worry about because he will stop talking.
- The desire to hurt yourself can trigger suicidal ideation. So, keep a close eye on your friend and continue to provide encouragement and a sense of security. However, hurting yourself doesn't necessarily mean you want to kill yourself. This is usually an indication of significant problems due to stress and/or anxiety. Even if it sounds like you're asking for help, never make assumptions like this.
- Many suicide attempts occur when a person is feeling better, rather than when they are severely depressed. A person who is in a slump may not have enough energy to do anything, but when his energy is restored, it is time to act.
- In the event of a crisis, it is better to call a health professional or 24-hour suicide prevention service before calling the police. Many incidents occur because the police intervene so that people with mental disorders experience trauma or death. As much as possible, involve someone who you believe is experienced and trained in dealing with mental or mental health disorders.
