Sometimes, in a friendship, things happen that cross the boundaries of friendship. One of the problems that often occurs is kissing. Kissing is normal for people who have intimacy with their partners, or are wanting to feel physical contact. Sometimes kissing happens because we feel emotional, then act without thinking. Regardless of the reason, there are many people who still want to maintain a friendship after a kiss. Luckily, with clear communication and good effort, you and your friend can still be friends after kissing.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Communicating after Kissing
Step 1. Take a break if necessary
For many people, taking time off to connect with their kissable friend can help resolve this issue. Putting some distance between you two can give you the strength and perspective you need to continue your friendship.
- Take a break of up to a month or more if you need a "cooling off" period.
- If you want to take a break, make sure your friend knows about this decision. You can't just disappear and hurt your friendship. Try saying something like, “I feel confused after kissing. I need some alone time. I still want to be your friend, but I'd better be alone for a while."
- If you want to continue seeing him, don't spend time alone.
- Try to avoid certain activities, such as drinking or anything else that can bring you both down.
Step 2. Talk about the matter
The first thing to do after a kiss is to talk about it. Talking about what happened is the first step to making sure you can maintain the friendship. In the end, this discussion will lead to both of you agreeing on the next steps to take.
- Express how you feel about the incident. Say something like, "I think we should talk about this incident."
- Discuss your concerns about the impact this will have on your friendship. Say something like, "I'm afraid that kiss will ruin our friendship."
- Let the two of you know if there are feelings beyond friendship that are deep and genuine. If one of you feels it, you should also find out how the friend in question is feeling. This way, the two of you can continue your friendship by knowing what's inside each other's feelings.
Step 3. Make an agreement
After talking about kissing, you and your friend should make an agreement about how to handle this incident and move on with your life. Agreeing to an agreement will let both of you know how to behave properly.
- In the agreement, both of you should try to understand each other how to continue the relationship as friends.
- Try to find agreement about whether you can share this incident with another friend.
- Try to seek agreement about the continuation of your relationship going forward.
- Try to set boundaries, such as not kissing again or limiting physical contact with each other.
Step 4. Keep in touch
Even though your initial conversation may have solved a lot of problems and allowed you to continue your friendship, one of you may still be confused about this relationship. At the same time, one of you may also harbor special feelings. This is the reason why you must keep in touch to avoid misunderstandings.
Step 5. Continue to be open and honest about your feelings
Say something like, "I think we should be completely honest about how each other feels when we kiss."
- If your friends want to talk, encourage them to do so.
- Talk about your feelings on a regular basis, if this method is considered helpful. You can do it once a week, or even more often.
Method 2 of 3: Acting after Kissing
Step 1. Obey the agreement made
After communicating, make an agreement, then clarify things that are still confusing. You must comply with the agreed agreement. This will prevent awkward situations from occurring.
- Try to internalize what your friend said in a previous conversation. If you both agree to be "just friends," then act like a friend.
- If you still have feelings, resist the temptation to show them. Remember, you have agreed to be friends. If you are in a romantic relationship, make an agreement about it.
- Remember that a kiss only happens once. Your goal is to maintain friendships.
Step 2. Be as normal as possible in front of the person
Being normal is the key to maintaining a relationship. If you act awkwardly or treat your friend differently, your relationship will be in jeopardy.
- There's no need to be nervous or avoid your friends once this happens. This happens normally, so act normal.
- If you feel nervous or awkward around your friend, talk to them about the matter.
- It's normal to be nervous or feel awkward after kissing. Take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that the nervousness and awkwardness will go away with time.
Step 3. Stay friends
Perhaps, the most important thing to do to stay friends is that – stay friends. If you remain friends and act casual, the chances of maintaining the relationship are relatively high.
- Keep talking to your friends, keep sharing your heart and thoughts as before.
- Keep doing things together. You should try to continue to do things together like before the kiss.
- Keep seeing him as a friend. If you don't see the person as a friend anymore, there's no way you can be friends with them.
Method 3 of 3: Confronting Others
Step 1. Do not share information with others
One thing you need to remember is not to share information about this incident with other people. Telling the details of the incident or telling others about the agreement you made will only jeopardize your relationship. Remember, the kiss and the conversation that follows are based on trust.
- By keeping it confidential, you can eliminate the risk of gossip that hurts or offends any of you.
- Don't involve other people in the discussion after the kiss. It's best to face the situation alone.
- The only thing that allows you to share this incident with anyone is if you and your friend agree to do so.
Step 2. Resist jealousy
In the end, one of you two will probably be in a relationship with someone else not long after this incident. While jealousy is a natural feeling, you need to control it and hold it in as much as possible. Jealousy or hurt will only destroy your friendship.
- Don't create drama or be passive aggressive towards your friend if he or she is in a new relationship with someone else.
- Tell yourself that you want him to be happy. If your friend is happy with her new boyfriend, you should be happy too.
- Treat your friend's new lover like your own. Being mean will only harm your relationship.
- If you have concerns or problems with your friend's boyfriend, it's best to keep those thoughts to yourself or discuss them with your friend.
Step 3. Stay active with other friends you both know
One of the most important things to stay friends is to continue the relationship in the same social circle. This means you have to keep doing activities with him and other friends.
- Do the same activity as before. For example, like going to the cinema together (also invite other friends).
- Don't try to win over or win over other friends to get them to support you if your relationship doesn't end well.
- If you are a person who likes to invite friends to do certain activities, continue the habit without ignoring the kissing friend.
