Normality changes over time and based on where you are. There are no specific rules to make you feel normal. However, there are several ways that you can follow so that you can adjust to the environment if you have been having trouble doing so. Focus on feeling confident first. After that, you can take other steps easily.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Have Confidence
Step 1. Listen to or accept other people's opinions in a healthy way
If you can reduce your worries about what other people think of you, you will feel happier and less stressed. You will also appear more normal because you believe in yourself. The less you worry about “looking normal”, the more confident you will be (and you will appear more confident too). Plus, it also gives you more room to care about people than to think about what they think of you.
Step 2. Use body language to display confidence
Body language can make you appear confident and confident, even when you feel embarrassed or "out of place" with your surroundings. New evidence shows that showing a "power pose" can change a chemical in the brain and release testosterone so you feel stronger. Such poses can also reduce the production of cortisol, a hormone associated with stress.
- When showing confident body language, you need to "open up." Don't cross your arms and legs and pull your shoulders back. Do not slouch or show a closed posture which can actually increase stress hormones.
- Before entering a situation that makes you nervous (e.g. new social setting, class, interactions with people who have made fun of you), go to an enclosed space and pose for (at least) two minutes.
- Try the "Wonder Woman" pose: pull your shoulders back and place your hands on your hips, spread your legs shoulder-width apart, and hold your head high.
- Just by imagining yourself in a confident and strong pose, you can make a difference. Imagine yourself sitting back in a chair, with your feet on the table and your hands behind your head.
- Try to always stand with your shoulders straight (drawn back) and one hand on your waist.
Step 3. Rationalize your choices
If you're constantly wondering (e.g. is it weird if you keep your phone in a cell phone case), take a moment to pause and evaluate your thoughts. If you really need it for your job or your lifestyle, a cell phone case is a logical accessory to have. If you can keep your cell phone in your pocket easily/safely, you don't need to use the holster which may be "laughed at" by others. Rationalization like this makes you calmer and more careful in taking steps or following certain habits so that you can feel more confident.
Step 4. Make sure you are comfortable with the way you communicate
You need to be aware of the way you interact with other people, but understand that other people are not always aware of your unique “tendencies” or things. While making yourself comfortable, try asking the other person questions and letting them talk or provide answers. Focus on conversation topics that make you feel comfortable so that you don't become the "center of attention" in group chats.
Step 5. Take care of your body
It's true that you don't have to be tall and direct to fit in and be accepted in your environment. However, diet and exercise can help improve body function and condition in the long run. The self-confidence that develops when you feel better or healthier (physically) helps you accept yourself and appear confident to those around you. In addition, exercise also improves your mental and emotional health.
- Eat healthy foods. Try to eat a combination of protein, carbohydrates, fruits, vegetables, and healthy fats every day. To maintain health, you don't actually have to be obsessed with healthy food or activities. It doesn't matter if you occasionally enjoy ice cream or potato chips. However, make sure you don't overdo it. If consumed occasionally, these delicious snacks will taste more delicious and meaningful.
- Get enough exercise. If you watch too much television, get up from your seat and get some fresh air! Ride your bike, swim, or go for a walk. Physical activity can help maintain your health and fitness.
Step 6. Try new things regularly
Many people don't want to go through change. However, trying new things is important to broaden your views or horizons. Whether you like it or not, you will learn something about yourself and the activities you do. Try enjoying a new hobby with friends so you feel more comfortable.
Part 2 of 4: Adjusting to the Environment
Step 1. Look for people who are “like” you
If you come from a different culture, you may find it difficult to build a support network when it comes to new places. Look for people with similar backgrounds. While adjusting to a new environment, you can feel comfortable around people who understand your background. This can make you feel normal, supported, and understood.
Try looking for an online meeting group, a group at your local community center, a cultural group at your college, or your place of worship
Step 2. Follow the way people around you dress
So that you don't stand out (negatively), you may need to adjust your clothes. Apart from not wearing your own cultural clothes or costumes, try not to appear too (or less) casual than those around you. This is important to remember, especially when you are in a work environment. However, the same rules are also advised to apply to informal social circles or settings.
- Following your dress style can build your self-esteem. When you realize that you can reflect the style of dress or behavior of someone you like or admire, your self-confidence can increase and your discomfort or fear will decrease.
- The “affirmations” you get by following other people's dress styles can reduce any doubts and make you more connected to your friends, until you finally start to feel confident and comfortable enough to take risks with your own style of dress.
Step 3. Capture the context of your surroundings
Adaptation to the environment applies not only to new cultures, but also to everyday situations. When entering the room, pay attention to the other people in the room. If everyone seems to be feeling one strong emotion, don't take actions that generally involve the opposite emotion. You can make someone who is crying feel more irritated or “alienated” by telling obscene jokes.
- Pay attention to the body language and facial expressions of those around you. Do they seem open and smiling? Or do they seem closed off and annoyed? Do they appear relaxed and calm, or stiff and tense?
- Do people speak in calm tones, normal volumes, or do they scream and laugh loudly?
Step 4. Demonstrate and engage in behaviors and activities that are similar to those of those around you
One way for people to feel that you are “a part” of them is to exhibit similar behavior. However, you need to be careful. Just because an activity is done by many people, doesn't mean it's the “right” activity to do. Stay away from harmful or unhealthy behaviors, such as consuming alcohol excessively or taking illegal drugs, even if you end up being “isolated” from your environment.
If everyone in your group is crazy about soccer, try to show your interest. Attend a soccer game and learn the basics. If it's boring, you don't always have to attend a soccer game, but at least make an effort to "get it"
Part 3 of 4: Have Good Interpersonal Skills
Step 1. Get involved in social activities
As a paradox, you can appear to "stand out" and become the subject of conversation by avoiding social activities. Try not to lose your friends and alienate your coworkers by refusing their invitations. Social gatherings can be stressful, especially if you run into people you don't know well. You may not always be invited to the evening event that you think is perfect. However, your ability to participate in a variety of social activities will make you appear more "normal" and friendly.
Step 2. Build an active social life
The easiest way to do this is by opening up and making new friends in the places you go. Don't expect too much to find someone who fits into your gang or think about your compatibility with someone. If you can establish a close relationship with someone, your friendship with them will feel natural and normal. Having friends will make you appear more friendly and approachable.
Step 3. Mirror politeness and be nice
Society looks up to people who are friendly and fun. It's not uncommon for someone to be "rude" to their close friends which makes them feel comfortable. If you want to make a good impression, try to be more polite.
Step 4. Don't share too many stories right away
Meeting new people is fun, but there is a period of “friendly” chat that will need to pass before you and the other person feel comfortable in each other's presence. Don't bring up intimate or personal topics (eg health issues, sexual preferences, traumatic events, and the like) in the conversation until you really know the person you're talking to. Even if you think you've made a new friend, filter your language so you don't make him feel alienated.
Step 5. Control your emotions
Strong feelings are natural, even desirable. However, other people will feel uncomfortable when you openly display your emotions (especially anger and sadness). Try to control your emotional response to minor issues and express your feelings in a constructive way. Don't yell, throw things, swear, or be rude. If possible, express your discomfort or annoyance calmly and politely.
If you feel irritable easily or suspect that you may be depressed, don't hesitate to contact a therapist or counselor. Just because you visit or see a professional therapist doesn't necessarily mean that you are "crazy". A therapist or counselor can help you through a difficult time or provide something more important
Step 6. Give your opinion in moderation
It's natural for you to have strong opinions on certain matters, such as political issues. You can also argue with other people about these things (as long as the debate is reasonable and logical). However, if you often make fun of or attack other people who have other opinions, sooner or later people will view you as “societal trash”. Instead of attacking other people, try to listen to other people's opinions and have an open mind.
Part 4 of 4: Keeping Clean and Tidy
Step 1. Keep your house or apartment clean and tidy
With trash or candy wrappers scattered around, your home will give a bad impression on visiting guests. Usually people boast of a clean and beautiful home exterior. However, you also need to show your guests that you are capable of doing basic household chores.
Step 2. Try to look presentable in general
Your lazy attitude will be obvious when you are outside the house. However, you also need to balance your appearance because if you look too neat, people may think of you as a stiff person. Try to balance between the neatness of your appearance and the "freedom" of dressing.
Step 3. Take time to tidy up and keep your body clean
The reason humans have the habit of cleaning themselves every day is unquestionable. Keeping yourself clean and tidy regularly is important for your appearance, as well as your physical and mental health. Cleaning yourself is an easy way to keep you looking clean. People around you will appreciate your efforts.
- Brush your teeth and clean in between using dental floss. By cleaning between your teeth, you can keep your teeth healthy in the long run.
- Put on deodorant before leaving the house. Strong body odor can give a bad impression in the eyes of those around you. If you have a strong body odor, see your doctor for a prescription deodorant.
- Even if you enjoy having long hair, get your hair cut regularly. You don't have to cut it often, but well-groomed hair will impress those around you.
Tips
See a therapist or a trusted friend to discuss normality and your perception of how "normal" you are. They can give advice on what to do in certain situations
Warning
- Don't let other people change who you are! Don't make changes to your lifestyle, unless you feel okay with the changes after careful thought.
- When participating in social activities, you don't necessarily have to follow social pressure. Avoid groups or social gatherings that force you to exhibit dangerous behavior. Good friends won't force you to do things that make you uncomfortable.
