As the world evolves, the more opportunities and choices you have, the more difficult it will be to know what you want. There are times when everything is understandable, but sometimes you seem to lose track. To find out exactly what you really want--not what other people want or what you should want--take time to look for the answer from within yourself. It will also make you feel better and happier.
Step
Part 1 of 3: By Thinking Logically
Step 1. Separate what "should" be from what you want
We all have a long line of things that other people want from us that conflict with what we really want. We have to wash dishes, have to go to school again, have to work and get married, but all this can't bring us happiness because we don't really want it. Even if we try to do it, we will run out of energy and have to start again like 5 or 10 years ago. Don't waste time and, from now on, free yourself from whatever feels like a "must."
Many of us find it difficult to distinguish between "must" and "want." You should be able to tell the difference, and most importantly, no longer need the word "should" in your dictionary
Step 2. Imagine if you could live without fear
We all have fears that are abstract and intangible. Fear that other people will not like us or will not respect us, afraid of living in poverty, afraid of not getting a job, not having friends, and having to live alone. To get what you want, get rid of all these fears right now.
If you could live rich independently and everyone loved you (constantly and never change,) what would you do? Whatever comes to your mind is what you want
Step 3. Think about what makes you dissatisfied
By nature we are all highly skilled complainers. We are great at knowing that we are unhappy, but so terrible at understanding why and how to fix it. If you're in a bad mood, try to find the answer. Why do you feel dissatisfied? What do you really want? What can be done to improve the situation?
Your job, for example. Say you are not satisfied with your current position. Maybe you don't hate your job, just don't like certain aspects that need to be eliminated. What things need to change if you can? How will this endeavor change your life?
Step 4. Make a list of things that you consider a priority
Divide them into categories that best suit you, e.g. family/relationships/career or maybe mental/emotional/physical, etc. Write down at least 3 items for each category.
Choose the things you want to consider. Decide what is in line with and what is not in line with your priorities. What option best aligns with your priorities? Most likely this option is the best because you chose it with the least cognitive dissonance and the results will be in line with the values you believe to be true
Part 2 of 3: By Thinking Honestly
Step 1. Set your focus on tomorrow
Let's take a moment to look at reality: if you have a past or present-oriented outlook, you will be ensnared by the conditions you were in in the past or present, instead of being drawn in the direction you desire. If you don't know what your goals are, you may not be able to achieve them, but by focusing on the future, you can get a better picture of yourself in the next 2, 5, or 10 years. You can definitely achieve whatever your goals are.
If you notice you're thinking about your ex or the money you want to spend on a new car, stop. This mind is not future oriented. Are you still expecting your ex-girlfriend for another 10 years? Do you want to buy a new car? If the answer is yes, then maybe you really do want to own a car (or your ex-boyfriend again.) However, if the answer is "I don't think so," then ignore it
Step 2. Be honest with yourself
Just think: what are you pretending not to know? Are you pretending you don't know yourself? There is so much consciousness behind our thoughts that we don't want to see. Opportunity and truth will be revealed when we stop lying to ourselves. When this happens, you will find your true self and what you really want.
For example: let's say you were in a group of cool girls at your school. Pink clothes every Wednesday, laughing at the nerdy schoolgirls, and spending the weekend in debauchery. You have established yourself as a person who always needs popularity, prestige, and beauty. If this is the truth from your heart, that's fine. But maybe you're hiding someone who wants a career in science, dresses appropriately instead of trendy, and has only a few good friends. Have you been honest with yourself about your desires?
Step 3. Ignore your intellectuals
All the "shoulds" we discussed above, generally come from two sources: the opinions of others and our own thoughts. You can't control other people and it's very difficult to get them to take care of themselves, but you have the power to control your thoughts. Of course, you and your mind are two different creations.
- Think about the things you "deem good for you." You don't like sandwiches with vegetables for lunch, but sometimes you want to too. You don't want to study for exams, but you study anyway. Free yourself from this mindset for a moment and ask yourself, why do you need to think about things that have nothing to do with logic?
- If you live in a world that knows no consequences, where you don't have to be smart and don't have to take risks, don't have to think too much, how would you like to live your life? What different decisions would you make?
Step 4. Develop your ideas
In the previous step, we discussed "wanting" something based on other people's opinions and "wanting" something based on our own thoughts. We've covered the mind, and now, we're going to talk about other people. We live in a village called the world, so it sounds a bit ridiculous for someone to shut themselves off from everything that's going on. Instead, develop your ideas instead of the ideas that other people give you. Only you can create all your own ambitions.
- Also think about what success defines for you. Define success according to your own opinion, not the definition from the dictionary or the definition your parents instilled in you since you were born. What decisions would you make if you wanted to live your life by this definition?
- Just ignore the prestige. It's hard to ignore prestige, but give it a try. Forget about status because this idea comes from other people or the wider community. If other people were no longer the deciding factor (and they shouldn't be) how would this change things? If status is no longer an issue, what will you do?
Part 3 of 3: By Thinking About Solutions
Step 1. Know that you are exactly where you need to be
Everything that happens in this life is precious and every experience shapes your life. Therefore, everything you experience is a good thing, so accept yourself as you are. You lack nothing, and there is no "best path" for you but the path you are on.
This can be hard to accept, especially if you feel like things aren't going well. But remember that this life is only temporary. Be it work or emotions, nothing lasts forever. You may be going through a difficult time, but this does not mean that you have gone the wrong way. Maybe you really need this condition to push you to achieve what you want
Step 2. Relax
Since you're already where you're supposed to be, rest easy, you'll be fine. This life will solve its own problems, by bringing you to a certain condition, even if you are not aware of it. If you are constantly stressed, you will miss the opportunities that are in front of you right now. This is the worst thing you can do!
In addition, sometimes your feelings can be disturbed by anger or other negative emotions. Try meditating, practicing yoga, or taking a break while breathing deeply. Once the negative emotions are gone, you will be able to think clearly again
Step 3. Allow yourself to experience it
Once you reach a state of relaxation knowing that you are okay, one day everything will happen on its own. Maybe you've heard that a relationship suddenly develops unexpectedly. This also applies to desires. If you are always alert and relaxed, you will be able to see the opportunities that come your way and can feel that this is the right opportunity.
Who knows? Maybe the opportunity you've been waiting for has been open to you all along. Letting yourself relax can open your horizons to find what you've been looking for
Step 4. Recognize that no one is ever "grown up" or "knows everything."
"There is a joke from the past, "Why would an old man ask a little girl what she wants when she grows up? Because the old man wanted to find ideas. So if you can't make a decision, both big and small, don't beat yourself up. It's human to have a lot of desires.
