As our reliance on social media increases and we view life as just expensive things (eg a beautiful bag or a luxury car) and appearances that have to be perfect, sometimes we find it increasingly difficult to love ourselves. We feel inferior to ourselves and what we can show. We also have a hard time realizing that we are really no different from other people. However, feeling inferior can actually motivate us to become a better person. Hold on and don't avoid the feeling of inferiority. Face it and accept the feeling of inferiority. In this way, you can accept and love yourself for who you are.
Step =
Part 1 of 3: Changing Your Mindset
Step 1. Distinguish between reality and imagination
There are always two realities running in parallel at any given moment, namely the reality outside your mind and inside your mind. Sometimes, you just need to hold back for a moment to realize that whatever is in your mind has absolutely nothing to do with reality. On the other hand, what makes you feel “clutched” is fear and anxiety. When you are worried about something, ask if what you are dealing with is reality? Or is that reality actually your own creation?
- Let's say your sweetheart replies to your text with an "OK," while you're feeling giddy and excited at the thought of your relationship or wedding anniversary going to be a great night. You may start to think, “Oh my God! He didn't care. He doesn't care about me. What should I do? Is this over? Are we going to break up?” Well, wait a minute. Does “OK” really signify any of these things? No. It's just imagination playing in your mind. He may be busy or feeling uninspired. However, his response does not necessarily mean that your relationship will end.
- People have a tendency to focus on the negative and see the worst in (actually) safe situations. By focusing on what's on your mind, you can eliminate feelings of inferiority that arise. Of course you need a great imagination to be successful.
Step 2. Recognize that feelings of inferiority are invisible
Say, you walk into a party attended by people you don't know. Then, you get really nervous. You really feel inferior and start asking why you bothered to come to the party. It feels like everyone's gaze is only on you, revealing how inferior you are. That is not true. Other people can tell that you are nervous, but they only know how nervous you are. Other people can't tell what you're feeling or thinking. Don't let the invisible hold you back or hold you back from showing your true self.
Most of us are trapped in the assumption that other people can know how we feel, including the feeling of inferiority that comes to us, so that the situation feels even worse. Fortunately, this is not true. No one can judge you for the feeling of inferiority that exists because no one can know that feeling of inferiority in you
Step 3. Believe that what you see doesn't always reflect what it really is
Have you ever heard of a woman who pretends to travel the world, even to her closest friends and family? On Facebook, he posts photos of his fun vacation, when he's actually just sitting at home and pretending to travel the world. In other words, people only want you to see the things they want to show. Behind these things, you will only see things that are ordinary and don't really make you jealous. What appears sometimes does not reflect the truth, and what is seen from a person does not always reflect the true personality or reality. Therefore, there is no reason for you to conform to other people's standards.
As Steve Furtick put it, "A sense of inferiority arises because we compare our "behind the scenes" life (real life) with someone else's "stage" (in this case, the "ideal" life that other people show)" At this stage, We're going to talk a little bit about life comparisons, but keep in mind that you're only looking at other people's outward appearances, not the reality behind them
Step 4. Listen and accept the feelings that arise
One way to fight feelings of inferiority is to deny or deny the presence of these feelings. Despite the fact that this method will only suppress your feelings of inferiority to the point where you'll "explode," it can also send a message to yourself that what you're feeling isn't real or isn't true. When you're not comfortable with how you feel, you can't accept yourself. When you can't accept yourself, you will feel inferior. Therefore, accept the existence of these feelings and live them. After that, these feelings can go away on their own.
However, that doesn't mean you take what you feel is the truth. For example, you may feel “fat and unattractive”, but don't let it be true. Just accept the feeling as it is, and then reflect on why you feel that way. Once you've found the answer, take action to prevent those feelings from recurring
Part 2 of 3: Improving Self Image
Step 1. Compare with yourself, not with others
Again, when you look at other people, you only see the outward appearance. Therefore, do not compare yourself to others. When you start comparing yourself to others, stop. Just stop comparing yourself to others. Remind yourself that all you see in other people is their outward appearance, and that appearance usually doesn't "last."
If you have a gap in the comparison to fill, just compare it with yourself. What improvements or improvements have you made? What new skills have you mastered now? Have you become a better person? What have you learned? In the end, in this life your toughest opponent is yourself
Step 2. Write down your good qualities
Yes, this step is not a joke. Take a piece of paper and a pen (or have your phone ready) and write down the good qualities you have. What do you like about yourself? Don't stop writing until you have (at least) five good qualities or qualities. Is it a talent? Physical characteristics? Character or personality?
- If you can't figure out or think about the good things you have (don't worry, you're not alone), ask some close friends or family members about the good things you have. In addition, there are many studies showing that other people actually know us better than we do ourselves.
- When you feel down, go back to the list or recall its contents. Show gratitude and slowly the existing feelings of inferiority will disappear. Look online for lists of self-reinforcing phrases that can also be used when you can't find anything positive about yourself.
Step 3. Take care of your body, environment and time
In order to love ourselves, our minds have to look at some evidence that shows that we really love ourselves. If someone treats you badly, you won't believe that he or she loves you. The same goes for you and yourself. There are a few things you need to keep in mind:
- Take care of your body. Exercise, eat a healthy diet, get enough sleep and, as much as possible, keep your health intact. This is the minimum requirement that you must meet.
- Take care of your surroundings. If you live in or occupy a room filled with piles of trash, there's a good chance you won't feel ready to take on the world. Plus, you also need to maintain space in your mind. Try to meditate, practice yoga, or do other activities to free your mind from stress.
- Take care of the time you have. In other words, take time to relax and do what you love. Through the occurrence of these two things, you can find happiness that can help you get past the big obstacles to achieving self-acceptance.
Step 4. Establish personal boundaries
The hope is that you can treat yourself well and know how to do it. However, what about other people? Define your personal boundaries. This means knowing what you can and cannot tolerate. Also identify anything that violates or exceeds “good” standards or boundaries for you. Why is this important? Because you own things and deserve to be treated the way you want them to. You just need to know how you want other people to treat you.
For example, consider how long you are willing to wait for a friend who arrives late. You can make it a rule that you won't wait more than 30 minutes. If they are late, you can leave. After all, your time is valuable-you are valuable yourself. If the other person doesn't value your time, he doesn't value you either. If he values you, he will come on time
Step 5. Pretend to be confident when you are in doubt
In English, there is the phrase “Fake it till you make it” (fake it until you really feel it). The phrase is not just a rhyming suggestion. In fact, research proves the truth. Pretending to be confident can convince others that you are more confident and competent, and provide more opportunities and better results. If you need more confidence, lean on your acting skills. Other people won't know.
Confused where to start? Pay attention to your body and consciously relax the muscles that feel tense. When we feel nervous, physically the body will feel tense. Therefore, muscle relaxation can be a sign to your mind and those around you that you are relaxed (and, perhaps, cool)
Part 3 of 3: Taking Action
Step 1. Make a “self-esteem” note
Write down all the compliments you get, either on your phone or in a small notebook. Make sure you write down every compliment you get. When you need encouragement (or when you have some free time), take a look back at the notes. After that, you will feel better.
Sometimes it's easy to focus on negative things, especially with the inferior mindset that we naturally have. When you feel inferior, the whole world seems to reflect a positive "aura" so that the compliments you get just disappear from your mind. By writing them down, you can remember them while reliving the compliments. In the end, you can love yourself
Step 2. Surround yourself with people you feel comfortable with
Unfortunately, many feelings about ourselves and other things are largely determined by the people around us. If we are among people who think or behave negatively, we too will become the same person. If we are surrounded by happy people, there is a chance that we too will become cheerful people. Therefore, make sure you are surrounded by people who make you feel happy and comfortable with "yourself". If it's like that, you don't need to do the opposite.
In line with this, distance yourself from other people (who give off a negative “aura”). This is no joke. If there are people around you who don't make you love yourself, stay away from them. You are better than them and their prejudices about you. Ending a "toxic" friendship can be difficult, but it feels worth it and the right thing to do when you feel better after ending it
Step 3. Find a job you like
Work takes up a lot of time in life. If you fixate on a job you hate and feel down, you're sending a message to yourself that you're not capable and don't deserve to be a better person. If you find yourself in such a situation, try leaving the job. This needs to be done for your happiness.
What's more, your job may be holding you back from your true interests. Imagine if you had more time to do the things that make you feel happy. What does it taste like? Maybe it feels really good. When you have a purpose, it will be easier for you to feel safe and love yourself
Step 4. Face the obstacles and wounds
Do you remember that it was mentioned earlier that you should “feel what you feel?” Once you feel it, you can deal with it and determine where it is coming from. What aspects of yourself or what situations are holding you back from feeling happy and loving yourself? Is it weight? Appearance? Personality aspect? Status in life? Or, perhaps, someone's past treatment?
Once you know the problem, you can start taking action. If your weight bothers your mind, use it as motivation to lose weight and make yourself more beautiful. If your status is bothering you, make changes to have more achievements. Whatever the case, make the problem your advantage. Problems can be the impetus needed to develop or improve. Apparently, feelings of inferiority can also be "help"
Step 5. Change the things that are not acceptable
People often say to accept what you can't change, but if that statement is reversed, you need to change what you can't. Do not accept the existing appearance? Try making changes to your appearance. Do not accept the existing career path? Change your career field. Don't accept how other people treat you? End your relationship with him. Actually, you have great power; You just need to use it.
Of course it will be a tough “task”. Yes, it will be a tough “task” for you. Losing weight is not easy. Changing jobs is just as difficult. Leaving an annoying partner is painful. However, these things can still be done. You may find it difficult at first, but as time goes on, you will find yourself in better situations: feelings of security and self-love
Tips
- Be yourself, no matter what. Remember to keep smiling and say "I love you" to yourself.
- Just because your friends have a different appearance or personality doesn't mean you have to change to be like them.
- Always show your pride in yourself.
- To get through the worst of times, you need to think about the best and imagine how you felt in the best of times.
- Smile! Smiling will make you appear friendlier and gain better self-esteem.
- If you have something that no one else has, like a gap between your front teeth, don't hide it by not smiling. Instead, be proud of it. Learn to love your uniqueness.
- Do things that embarrass you. The more comfortable you are when doing it, you will feel more secure (no longer feel inferior).
- Take time to get to know yourself. This is an important step, but it can often make you feel uncomfortable. To do this, you can try to be alone.
- Get acquainted with family and friends.
- Exercise and take care of your health. In this way, you will feel better and comfortable, both physically and mentally.
- Always believe in yourself. If you believe you can do something, you can do it. As long as you believe, you can do whatever you want. It doesn't matter if you don't achieve your goals. What's important is that you put in your best effort to achieve it. Even if you fail, you will feel happy because you gave your best.
