Are you currently feeling sad because of the loss of a friend, heartbreak, betrayal, or a disappointing event? Whatever the cause and effect, accept the fact that sadness is a part of everyday life. However, you can improve things over time. This article explains how to overcome sadness and start a happy life again.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Changing Emotional Conditions in a Positive Direction
Step 1. Acknowledge and accept the event that made you feel sad
Instead of being controlled by feelings, define what you really feel and then name the feeling. Accepting unexpected events or something unexpected is not an easy thing because it will be very disappointing, even difficult to accept. However, you must learn to accept reality in order to overcome grief.
- Learn to accept disappointment so that you are able to separate between negative emotions and yourself as a good person. You can feel anything, but negative feelings won't turn you into a bad person, a loser, or a bad person.
- If you are betrayed by your lover, don't blame yourself for other people's bad behavior because this is not good and is self-defeating. It's natural to feel slighted or rejected, but don't let negative emotions make you feel responsible for other people's mistakes.
Step 2. Work on controlling your emotions
You can still control your emotions even when you're feeling sad. Emotions are an important aspect of human life to feel what we and others experience. However, emotions can also control our lives. There are various ways to control emotions.
- One way to control emotional reactions is to take action. If the solution to the problem you are trying to do will make a positive contribution, you are focused on that goal so you are not driven by emotions.
- Also, you can control your emotions by distracting yourself. Do something to take your mind off the problem so you can think clearly, such as taking the time to work out at the gym, call a good friend, shop at the supermarket, or pick up some laundry at the laundromat. It's not easy for you to feel down when you're still active.
Step 3. Give yourself a chance to grieve
If you want to cry or grieve, just do it. However, set a time limit to keep your emotions under control, such as 1-2 days or more depending on the situation you are in. After that, go back to your daily life as usual.
Step 4. Decide what you want to do as a follow-up
Every relationship or activity has a beginning and can either end on its own or end in some way. Prepare the ritual beforehand so you know what needs to be done as a follow-up to resolve the problem.
- Maybe you decide you want to confront and forgive the person who hurt your feelings. If you choose that way, don't blame anyone for talking to him. You simply express your feelings and then tell what you are going to do. Tell him, "I'm very disappointed with the way you treated me. I need to consider whether or not to continue the relationship. I will contact you again if I want to continue the relationship."
- In addition, you can also return the belongings of your ex-lover/spouse and say goodbye. Prepare yourself as best you can, but don't delay too long.
Step 5. Don't keep regretting past experiences
Accept the fact that made you feel hurt and remember that after that, you don't have to be sad anymore. Don't let past problems define who you are today because they are just things that happened to you. After accepting the fact that you are disappointed and deciding to follow through, the next step is to forget the past. This means that you need to change your mindset so that you no longer regret what happened.
- Take action to deal with moodiness. Feeling depressed makes you feel like you're living in a prison because you keep blaming yourself for what happened or regretting not being able to see the consequences before making a decision. These thoughts can trigger depression.
- To overcome feelings of depression, try to prevent bad experiences from repeating themselves. In addition, look for solutions to overcome the problem so that your life is not affected by the experience. Think of ways to improve things or write down what you learn. Taking action after a bad event is a way of empowering yourself to get back to living the life you want.
Part 2 of 3: Positive Thinking
Step 1. Appreciate the good things you experience
Whatever has happened, remember that there is nothing wrong or lacking with you. Problems may change your mindset, but they won't change the fact that there is always good in your life.
Set aside time to interact with positive friends every day. Do activities you enjoy with friends and be grateful for the positive things you experience in your daily life. Keep a journal to keep track of things that are happening and worth being grateful for. Over time, you will feel happier and able to be grateful
Step 2. Free yourself from negative thoughts
Get into the habit of positive thinking. Realize that the habit of having negative mental dialogue can reduce the quality of life. If you start to think negative thoughts, scold yourself and get rid of the negative thoughts by thinking positive things or making realistic statements.
- For example, think of someone who was nice to you and trusted to cut off negative mental dialogue that said, "I'll never meet someone who treats me well and doesn't betray me." If you have determined at least 1 person who meets these criteria, this means that you have successfully challenged and refuted negative statements about yourself.
- Send love and light to those who are mean to you. Learn to forgive others and forget their mistakes. Don't let someone who was bad at you take up space in your heart and fill it with negativity. This makes you feel relieved that this person is not affecting you anymore. Know that letting go of anger doesn't mean justifying someone else's mistakes. This step helps you provide more places to attract positive things into your life.
Step 3. Get in the habit of socializing with happy positive people
Family members, friends, loved ones, and positive people can restore your trust in others after experiencing disappointment. Let them be a source of inspiration to heal and free you from heartache.
- Look for friends who are ready to discuss and make your experience a testimony that can be shared with others. Use your experience to remind others to avoid the same problem.
- Go to a good friend and tell them that you want to share what happened to you. After telling the story, thank him for being willing to listen and provide support.
Part 3 of 3: Starting a New Life
Step 1. Be personally responsible
If what happened to you was self-inflicted, use this experience to empower and develop yourself. However, don't keep blaming yourself and withdrawing in shame. Instead, honestly admit your mistakes or learn from the experience. Even if you are hurt and betrayed, you can grow and learn through each experience.
You will feel relieved and able to move on again once you know what to change to prevent the same problem from recurring. Here's how to restore power and not let others control you
Step 2. Tell us about your experience
Sometimes, the suffering will be less if it is told to others. Give yourself a chance to cry, laugh, and share your experiences with others. After telling a friend, the problem that initially seemed very heavy turned out to be not as bad as you thought.
- Sadness or suffering is not something to hide from other people because it makes your experience seem wrong or embarrassing. As a result, it becomes increasingly difficult for you to overcome the problem so that you can move on again.
- When you meet a friend who is ready to help, share your disappointment by saying, "I want to tell you everything that happened to me. Maybe you don't know yet. Thank you for being willing to support me…"
- You can join a support group of people who are going through the same problem and are able to understand your feelings.
Watch yourself. Feeling depressed will be worse if you experience physical pain or psychological disorders. Maybe you need to remind yourself to eat, sleep, and exercise regularly. Make a commitment to take care of yourself so you can take care of your health.
Step 1.
- Doing something with self-care every day can replace feelings of sadness and disappointment with the ability to love yourself. This is the best love you can have.
- Get in the habit of eating healthy foods, adopting a balanced diet, exercising at least 30 minutes a day, and sleeping at least 7 hours every night. Also, do activities that you enjoy to reduce stress, for example: reading a book or playing with pets.
Step 2. Set personal boundaries
Make an activity plan to achieve the life goals you want and prevent the same problem from happening. After that, make a commitment to carry out the plan as best as possible. Write down the basics and non-negotiable in preparation for a relationship in the future. Be assertive and explain your expectations when it comes to making friends or other relationships.
- Use these notes as a guide so that interactions with other people go the way you want them to. If you don't get what you want, talk about it before it creates new disappointments or problems.
- Include in your guidelines that you don't want to be in a relationship with people who are against what you believe to be your virtues, don't want to be friends with drug users or criminals, don't want to have a one-sided relationship.
