Even if you and this guy have been dating for quite some time, saying love can be a big and daunting step. However, the most important thing here is to express feelings honestly and frankly. You don't need to prepare a spectacular declaration of love. Just take a deep breath, muster the courage, and be yourself.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Saying Love for the First Time
Step 1. Wait for him to feel happy and calm
If he's stressed about work or school, facing family problems, or thinking about a personal crisis, he may not be able to accept the new changes well. There is no "perfect moment" so you don't have to wait. A good opportunity to say love is a calm and peaceful moment free from stress. However, there are bad time it is inappropriate to surprise someone with an expression of love:
- After having sex.
- When drunk.
- Via text message or phone.
- During or after a fight or argument.
Step 2. Find a quiet and private place to talk
Is there a special place that brings memories to both of you? Maybe you can confess on a first date, or when you're having dinner celebrating your anniversary. However, the important thing is to choose a place to talk without constant distractions.
Ask him to go for a walk, help with something, or just say "I want to talk to you for a minute."
Step 3. State simply and from the heart
Don't try to overdo gestures or romantic settings. This isn't the time, and there's a chance the preparations will backfire. You just need to express your feelings. So don't think too much about anything else. Speak from the heart and be open, no big plans needed.
Talk about any current relationship between the two of you honestly. To bring the topic towards love, say that he makes you happy, talk about shared memories, or share how you feel
Step 4. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and say "I love you
" You just have to say. So close your eyes, count to three, and say it. Say it in whatever way you feel most comfortable because what matters is the words. Look her in the eye, smile boldly, and be your amazing, honest, and loving self. Remember, the simpler, the better. If you're embarrassed and unsure what to do, try one of these methods:
- "I love you."
- "I want to say that these past eight months have been the happiest times of my life. I feel we are connected more deeply and every day we spend together is always better than before. I love you."
- "There's something I've been keeping for a long time, and it's better if I let it out. I love you."
- Lean close to him, kiss his cheek, and whisper in his ear the words "I love you."
Tip:
Stay calm and confident. It's normal to be tense, but if you start by saying "There's something I want to say, but I don't know how," or "I don't know how to tell you," or something like that, your conversation will only get more serious. It's best if your conversation flows smoothly into this topic.
Step 5. Express your feelings to a man who is far apart by letter or phone
If you can't meet him in person, but still need to get your feelings out of the way, there's no stopping you from saying "I love you." In-person statements are more personal, but remote chats can also be made personal. Instead of sending an "I love you" message, which can sound ambiguous, try writing a letter or email that is simply a declaration of love. No need to string words together, just say what's in your heart.
- Let them know that you'd rather talk face-to-face, but can't hold your feelings in any longer.
- Briefly describe the story, event, or emotion that sparked love in your heart.
- Say that you don't need an answer right away. You just want to convey feelings.
Method 2 of 4: Saying Love in Everyday
Step 1. Find a time once a day to say or show love
If you try to show love once a day, for example by saying "I love you" before bed or putting toothpaste on his toothbrush, you'll be able to keep the relationship strong for a long time. If you don't know how, just find one time of the day. Actually, a long, passionate kiss is enough to say love to your partner, and it only takes a few seconds.
Step 2. Find ways to express love without words
There are some people who find it difficult to say "I love you" verbally. However, that doesn't mean they don't love their partner. If you're one of those people who have a hard time showing affection, try these techniques to convey that you care:
- Hold or squeeze his hand
- Plan an event together even if it's just a plan for a date
- Introduce him to your friends and/or family
- Surprise him with kisses, hugs and physical intimacy
- Give praise, encouragement and admiration
- Do something special, especially when he doesn't seem well.
Step 3. Give him space and time to be free
This step sounds paradoxical, but sometimes not meeting is the best option. Remember, you love each other as two different people living different lives, and you need to give him the freedom to be happy and still love you. Don't feel like you need to chat or check on how he's doing all the time to show how much you love him. Sometimes, giving each other free time is the best way to show that you know and love someone.
Step 4. Speak honestly and openly when you are angry because even the happiest couple can fight
Don't avoid arguments or problems with just "I love you", accept your problems. Couples who love each other are bound to get into arguments, too, and you have to be honest and open about your annoyances to keep the love alive. So, if anything causes fights or problems, don't feel that it will destroy your love or go against your words of love. In fact, you are showing love in a different way.
Never let your partner ask you to do something you don't want to "prove love." Love doesn't need to be proven
Step 5. Tell your partner that you love him every time you feel a surge of love in your heart, not out of obligation
Everyone has a different level of comfort in saying love. Some say love every time they hang up, some only say it in special moments, and some say love in the moments in between. So don't think about how often you have to say love or how often you have to hear it. Everyone is different, and they show love in different ways.
These words will mean more if they come from the heart. If you say "I love you" when your heart is filled with love, both of you will be much happier
Method 3 of 4: Dealing with the Response
Step 1. Explain that you don't demand the same answer
After confessing your love, you can stop talking, smile, and start talking about something else. Show the moment has passed by saying "Just so you know." You can also say that you don't need an answer to get him to think about. If you're not impressed with asking for a specific answer, he's more likely to give you the answer you want, if not right away, then later when he realizes he's lucky.
When speaking, try to arrange the words so that they seem more personal, such as, "I know I love you" or "I'm in love with you." Don't use "us" language
Step 2. Sit down and listen to him after you speak
Since not all guys are good at communicating thoughts and feelings, you need to be able to make him feel like you have someone who will listen. Be an active listener by understanding what's between the lines, waiting for him to finish before responding, and asking more questions. Don't attribute what he says to yourself. You've already expressed your love for him, now you have to be patient while he examines his own feelings.
Silence, while awkward at times, is not a bad sign. Maybe he was a bit shocked and needed some time to digest what he just heard. Don't feel like you have to talk all the time to break the silence
Step 3. Give him time and space to think
Just because you don't demand answers, doesn't mean there isn't pressure. If he disappears for a day or two, don't worry too much. He just needed time to process everything. Chasing or trailing him and waiting for how he would respond will only drive him further away.
Step 4. Treat him like a friend, regardless of the answer, to keep the relationship possible
If he feels awkward or says that he feels different, keep it friendly and sincere. You've done your part. However, if he smiles or replies that he loves you too, there's no reason to rush into formalizing the relationship. Expressing love is only one step in the relationship, not the finish line. The important thing is to treat him with love, not just with words.
- Continue the conversation toward a relationship honestly and openly.
- Don't feel that you have to say love every day from now on. Actions speak louder than words.
Step 5. Respect the decision or answer without arguing
In the end, you can only convey your feelings. You can't, and shouldn't, control the answer. Whatever he says, you should respect his wishes and move on with your life. It takes courage and great determination to say love, be proud of yourself because you have been brave and tried.
Method 4 of 4: Finding the Time and Courage to Speak
Step 1. Ask yourself why you want to express love
Love is a beautiful and happy emotion. However, love is a strong word, and shouldn't be taken lightly unless you really mean it. This doesn't mean you have to do in-depth research. However, you need to ask yourself, what do you expect with this expression of love.
- If he said "I love you" first and you feel the same way, feel free to say so.
- If your relationship is strong and you know him and yourself well, then maybe it's time to say "I love you."
- If you believe you're in love and need to talk to him, trust your instincts and say it.
- If you say love just to hear he loves you too, or because you feel pressured to say it, don't do it. Love is given to another, not expecting or needing an answer.
- If you and this guy are just friends, but you want more, consider asking him out first before confessing your love.
Tip:
Imagine you confess your love feelings, but he replies that he doesn't love you. Do you still want to say it? If not, maybe you're not ready to let him know you love him.
Step 2. Enjoy time together to chat, hang out, and go on romantic dates
Make sure you and he are enjoying some quality time before dropping the love bomb. Togetherness also provides an opportunity for you to estimate his feelings. Most likely, if you love him, he will feel attracted to you. Now, focus on living and enjoying togetherness, love does not force. So take the time you have to build the foundation of the relationship.
- In the end, an expression of love is an expression of feelings. If you're not sure if he loves you too, that's fine. You just want him to know that you have feelings for him.
- Is he comfortable with you? Otherwise, the expression of love may come across as sudden.
Step 3. Talk to a trusted friend if you're not sure if he's a casual friend or more
Sometimes you just need an outsider's view. A big reason people don't say "I love you" is the fear of one-sided feelings. However, the most important thing is to honestly express your thoughts and feelings. However, if you're a little worried:
- Ask a trusted friend if they can see the two of you together.
- Talk to one of his friends and find out if he is currently interested in someone. If you're brave, ask if he has feelings for you.
Step 4. Make sure he knows you like him before telling him you love him
Even close friends can be surprised to hear "I love you". Maybe you've been thinking about it for months, but for him this is big and sudden news. Imagine yourself in a similar situation. Your friend suddenly says he is in love with you. You may be at a loss for words. So, don't express love without a hint. Start exploring each other's feelings. Look at the situation first by saying:
- "I want to say that I really like you."
- "I enjoyed spending time with you. The past few months have been great."
- "Let's go on a date just the two of us, once in a while."
Step 5. Feel your love for a few more days before taking the step
Love is the most confusing happy emotion. If your heart is full of love, you feel your stomach churning every time you see him, and you want to say "I love you" every time you see him, chances are you're in love. However, even if the feeling is strong, avoid the urge to tell anyone. Instead, enjoy the passion of love for a few days. Prove to yourself that this feeling isn't just attraction. If you still love him after those few days, be prepared to take a step.
If after a few days you no longer feel attraction, it's not love. Love will last for a long time
Step 6. Consider letting him do the talking first
It is scientifically proven that men say "I love you" more often than women. What's worse, many dating books emphasize that women say love after men. The reasons are uncertain ("evolutionary advantage to the man making the first commitment") or far-fetched ("the woman who says first seems desperate), but there is an aspect of tradition here. Like it or not, some men worry when women say love first. These reasons shouldn't deter you, but are worth considering.
Expert Advice
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Remember that love is subjective.
Love means different things to different people. There is no perfect formula for determining when and how to say "I love you". Confessing your love for your partner makes you vulnerable and easily hurt. However, this is needed in a healthy relationship.
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Express feelings of love without expecting anything.
Focus on telling how you feel without thinking about the response. Remember that love does not grow in the same time and intensity in everyone. In addition, each person also has a different personal tendency to express his feelings.
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Pay attention to the time.
True deep love takes time to grow. It doesn't make sense to say "I love you" after the first date. However, if you feel really in love after a few dates, be honest with your partner. Add that you also realize it may be too early to express your feelings, and you don't expect him to reciprocate, but emphasize that you want to be honest about your feelings.
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You or he doesn't have to feel the same way.
You don't have to express your love to someone just because he confessed his feelings for you. If you're still in doubt, be honest. Say, "Right now, I'm still not sure how I feel, but I like you, and want to get to know you better." Or say, "It's too early to say love, but I want to live this relationship and see how it develops." Just because your love for one of you is growing more slowly, doesn't mean your relationship can't continue.
Tips
- Make sure you really love him. Love is spoken very often in this day and age, and anyone who has ever heard it from someone who didn't mean it, on purpose or not, can tell that love should not be said carelessly.
- Evaluate the relationship before doing anything drastic. Is the relationship in a stable stage? Romantic stage? Strength stage? Even if you believe these feelings are real, saying them when the relationship is still immature can damage fragile happiness, especially since men tend to be afraid of hearing the word love.
- Don't be afraid to be spontaneous. While perfect planning can help, don't focus so much on creating the moment that you miss out on a great opportunity to surprise him.
- Ask him out on a date. Don't ask other people for help. If you want to date him, you have to go forward.
Warning
- Don't talk badly about a guy who doesn't reciprocate your feelings. It will make you seem jealous and petty.
- Prepare yourself for the possibility of one-sided clapping, but remember, this is not the end of the world. For men, declaration of love is very serious because the word implies commitment.
