No matter how much you believe in ending your relationship with your beloved boyfriend, actually executing it is not as easy as turning the palm of your hand. Whatever the reason behind the emergence of these desires, chances are you will still feel anxious and nervous when you have to convey them to your partner. To make the process easier and help your partner to accept the end of the relationship more gracefully, try reading this article!
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Part 1 of 3: Preparing to End a Relationship
Step 1. Think about the reasons behind your decision to end the relationship
If you're in a dilemma about a decision to make, or if you're really sure about ending your relationship, it's a good idea to take the time to think about the reasons behind the desire.
- Your partner will probably ask for an explanation, and even if you don't owe him any explanation if you've been mistreated by him in the past, try to identify the reasons behind your desire to end the relationship for your own sake.
- Doing so will help you to make more informed decisions that you won't regret in the future.
Step 2. Be careful when making a list of the positives and negatives in the relationship
While doing so can help confirm your reasons for ending your relationship, there's no need to feel obligated to make a decision based on the list.
There is no need to try to analyze love rationally. Even if you manage to find compelling reasons to stay in a relationship on paper, that doesn't mean you have to stick with your partner if you no longer feel comfortable with them. In the long run, you may feel better after actually ending the relationship
Step 3. Understand that a person doesn't need a reason to end a romantic relationship
If your partner doesn't respect you or doesn't get along with you, both are good reasons to end the relationship. If not, don't worry about it because the truth is, you don't need a solid reason to end the relationship with your partner.
- A relationship can end for many reasons, and all of them are almost always valid.
- For example, you may suddenly lose your feelings for your partner. Even if the reason doesn't sound strong enough, you can still use it as a basis for ending the relationship.
Step 4. Don't delay the execution
After making a well-thought-out decision, delaying the execution process will only make you more nervous and stuck in an unsatisfactory relationship for longer.
Step 5. Don't end the relationship in a hurry
If a romantic relationship is terminated without maximum consideration, it is feared that you will end up saying things that are not serious or will be regretted later on.
Consider your decision carefully. After a mature decision has been made, follow it up with confidence
Step 6. Decide whether or not to end the relationship outright
Many people believe that ending a relationship over the phone, text message, or email is unwise behavior.
So if you and your partner have had a good time together, and if you still care about them, don't hesitate to get your point across, even if that option is more emotionally difficult
Step 7. Understand when to end the relationship in another way
If your partner is a violent person, chances are that these negative traits will reappear after hearing your decision. If that's the case, there's no need to meet him in person as your safety is the most important priority!
If you and your partner are in a long distance relationship, there is no need to wait for the next meeting to express your wishes. If possible, invite your partner to communicate via video chat or a messaging app instead of conveying your wishes from an impersonal email or text message
Step 8. Don't break up with your partner in public
Today, many people choose ridiculous ways to end a romantic relationship, such as getting their point across in a billboard or even in the newspaper! There are also people who immediately change their relationship status on their Facebook page without their partner's knowledge, you know.
No matter how tempting it may be to imitate these methods, always remember that publicizing your personal matters will only make you look unwise in the public eye, and risk embarrassing your partner
Step 9. Think twice before toying with your partner in any way
Chances are, some people will ask you to behave negatively or stay away from your partner until the word "break up" comes out of your partner's mouth. According to some, this method will make your life easier later.
Realize that this method is actually a silly game, and doesn't necessarily work. Even if it works and your partner is the first to say "break up" because of it, this behavior will only worsen your reputation. Or, later on you will feel ashamed of yourself for doing it
Step 10. Share your wishes with someone you trust
Most likely, conversations with your partner will be easier to do with advice and direction from the closest people such as friends, relatives, or even your parents. If you're not sure what to do, or if you're overly nervous, these people can help with helpful advice.
For the sake of respecting your partner, make sure the person you choose can be trusted not to divulge anything until your partner hears the news from your own mouth. Make sure the information doesn't reach your partner's ears from the mouths of other people so that the situation doesn't get worse
Step 11. Think of the words you will say to your partner long ago
If you've never ended a romantic relationship with anyone, or if you're really nervous about doing so, try crafting a short conversation script that you can rehearse and remember long ago.
Think of the words you want, and don't want, to say to your partner. Feeling confused? Try reading the ideas offered in the next steps
Step 12. Demonstrate the situation with your friend
You might also find it helpful to demonstrate the process of ending a relationship with a friend. By doing so, you'll know what to say to your partner, and will also be able to think about the different types of reactions your partner might have. As a result, you can also practice various possible responses that can be given in various types of situations.
For example, your friend could play the role of a partner begging to continue with the relationship as usual. Prepare your response for such reactions, such as by saying, "I'm sorry if I hurt you, but I can't change my decision."
Step 13. Think about how your partner might react
Even if you don't simulate with the people closest to you, still take the time to measure your partner's reaction after hearing your wishes. Trust me, it will help you to be more sympathetic to your partner, and to be more prepared to end the relationship.
- For example, your partner may exhibit the following reactions: angry, crying, being rude, trying to manipulate you, or swearing to change.
- Think about whether or not you can tolerate and accept the reaction. For example, if he seems sincere when he promises to spend time with you, would you be willing to give him a second chance?
Part 2 of 3: Breaking Up with Boyfriend
Step 1. Choose the right location to end the relationship
Actually, there are no rules that require you to end a relationship in a certain location, especially because the location you choose will actually depend on the personality of your partner. However, you should still choose a semi-private location so that your partner does not feel embarrassed.
Step 2. Do not also choose a location that is too private
It is best not to choose a location that is completely isolated from the outside world to prevent negative risks if the situation worsens. Remember, even if you think your partner is unlikely to hurt you, human behavior when you feel embarrassed or hurt is really unpredictable.
Choose a location that allows you and your partner to communicate privately, but also allows you to ask for help or leave conversational situations easily. Some options that are worth choosing are city parks, especially since that's where the two of you can sit in a location that's far from other people, but doesn't isolate you from the outside world
Step 3. Have someone accompany you, if necessary
If you're worried that the conversation will end badly, try asking an older friend or relative to accompany you.
Step 4. Start the conversation with a positive tone
After you and your partner meet, try to start the conversation with positive words. Unless he's treated you badly, there's no reason to be rude to him.
For example, try to share the positive qualities that made you accept his past love. For example, you could say, "Thank you for being so supportive all this time," or "We've had a very good relationship so far."
Step 5. Don't cover up the real reason
No matter how much you want to refine the reasons behind the decision, don't do it. Instead, make things clear and straightforward so your partner knows that you really want to end the relationship.
Tell him, "I want to end our relationship because I'm not ready for a serious relationship" or "I want something more from this relationship. That's why, our relationship does seem to have to end."
Step 6. Don't say clichéd phrases
Believe me, everyone is tired of hearing the phrase, "I was wrong, not you." Therefore, find other ways to explain the reasons behind your decision without risking insulting his intelligence.
- It's also possible that the desire to end the relationship came because you wanted different things. In other words, the cliché above is true. However, try to find a different way to verbalize it.
- For example, try saying, "You're a nice person, but we're both completely different, and I feel like I'd be better suited to people who share my interests."
Step 7. Be prepared to listen to what your partner has to say
Most likely, your partner will ask you questions or try to defend themselves in front of you. Whatever it is, be willing to listen to it.
If your partner reacts negatively and is overly aggressive, there's no need to feel obligated to listen to them and don't hesitate to leave, if you want
Step 8. Don't mince words
If you really want to decide, there's no need to delay the execution process, or spend days talking tearfully with him. This behavior will only make you both go round and round in the same place and experience emotional exhaustion.
If necessary, plan other activities shortly after meeting your ex-spouse. That way, you don't have to get caught up in endless conversations with him
Step 9. State your point clearly and clearly
Since you're not Taylor Swift, there's no need to say something too harsh, like "We'll never be able to date again." However, keep your point clear and don't give him false hopes.
- If your relationship really doesn't have a bright future, don't say anything to make him think otherwise.
- For example, don't ask him to "walk alone for a while," if your true desire is to end your relationship with him and start a relationship with someone new.
Part 3 of 3: Dealing with Situations After a Breakup
Step 1. Understand that you are not the one who has to help your ex-partner to move on after the relationship ends
Even if the relationship is over, your concern for your ex may not completely disappear. If the relationship between the two of you was very close in the past, and if you were the one who always listened to his problems, chances are that the habit will be difficult to change.
As tempting as it may be to ask how he's doing or respond to his calls and text messages, don't do it! Trust me, this behavior will only make it harder for both of you to move on with your life
Step 2. Be careful about how your ex-partner feels after the breakup
At one point, doubts about the decision to end the relationship may arise. Or, you may start to feel lonely and bored, so it's tempting to contact your ex-partner. Think carefully before taking any action!
If you really believe that the decision was wrong and you want to get your ex back in a relationship, take as much time as possible to think about it
Step 3. Think carefully before trying to befriend him again
If the temptation to reconnect with an ex-spouse arises, understand that both parties need time to process the situation before it gets to that point.
- Don't force your ex to be friendly with you, travel with you and your friends, etc.
- At the same time, don't feel obligated to travel with your ex as friends or to change your relationship status to friendship.
Step 4. Build the right support system
Ending a romantic relationship is not an easy thing to do, and most people will feel very lonely or even depressed after doing so, even if they feel the decision was the right one.
Make sure you're always surrounded by caring people, and don't hesitate to seek help or advice from a teacher, counselor, or even doctor if you find it difficult to move on with your life afterward
Step 5. Understand what to do if the response isn't what you want
If your ex-spouse makes threats, stalks you, or does things that make you feel uncomfortable, immediately report it to those closest to you who are adults such as friends, parents, teachers, counselors, or personal doctors for appropriate advice..
- In some cases, you may need to block your ex's number, email, and/or Facebook account.
- At one point, you may need to engage the authorities in order to obtain a restraining order. Unlike the advice you can get from anyone, legal protection options can only be obtained with the help of the police. Therefore, don't hesitate to report if you feel your security is being threatened!
