If you have to fire a friend, you can at least make the firing process as comfortable as possible. Whether you're feeling close to a coworker, or bringing an old friend to work in your office, follow these steps to differentiate between friend and boss responsibilities, sympathize with your friend, and make the firing process as quick and smooth as possible.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Starting a Conversation
Step 1. Keep the conversation as short as possible
Give yourself a short time to talk as the boss, and offer to speak as a friend soon after. If your friend wants to talk about being fired after she's calmed down and thought about the situation, make time for a drink or meal after office hours to talk, but when you fire her, keep the conversation as brief as possible.
Separate your role as boss from your role as friend. Be the boss, not the friend, when you fire your friend. Playing the right roles is very important to your mind, as well as to how your friends accept your decisions
Step 2. Speak to the point when you decide to fire the friend
Small talk or use of humor may not improve the situation or even give you false hope that your decision will change and the friend can stay at work. Giving false hope like that is very bad and can damage your friendship even further.
Step 3. Explain that you value your friendship
Make sure you explain that your friendship will not change, and that you, or your company, are paying the friend for work performance (an economic issue) that he or she doesn't meet. Soften this fact by explaining that so far, your work will not interfere with your social relationships. Calm the friend down by letting him know that your friendship will continue as usual.
Step 4. Support your friend in his layoff process
Explain the issue of severance pay, help him move his belongings, protect him from security guards who might bother him, and do the sweet little things you want your boss to do if you get fired.
Offer your friends help finding work elsewhere. As a friend, consider providing a good reference and taking the time to help him write a cover letter or revise his CV. Look for vacancies for him before starting the firing process to set up a backup
Step 5. Wait a while before contacting him as a friend
Your friend may feel resentful and hurt, and asking her to continue with her weekly routine of watching football may only make your relationship worse. Make time for your friend, but let him or her decide to join your activities.
Message your friend to let them know you'll be watching football, and would be more than happy to have company, but let your friends decide. Avoid setting him up to socialize
Method 2 of 3: Deciding What to Say
Step 1. Guess your friend's reaction
No matter who gets fired, your friend will probably feel hurt and ashamed about losing his job, and will say something bad out of anger at anyone who will listen. Fired by his own friend will certainly aggravate his heartache. If you don't want to lose your friendship, you need to understand that your friend may be blaming you, and be prepared to deal with that response.
Imagine the meanest thing your friend will say when she's angry. Expect your friend to say the same thing, and don't take it to heart
Step 2. Plan what you are going to say
Consider writing a script and memorizing it. Do not use any other words apart from your script. Make the conversation as honest and concise as possible. You should design the conversation as if you were firing another employee.
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If your boss tells you to fire your friend, you can mention it. Explain the reason for the dismissal as honestly as possible and offer sympathy to your friend. Even if you agree with the boss's reasoning, now is not the time to point it out:
"It's not what I want… I don't want it this way, but I also have to…"
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If your friend is doing something unethical and harmful to the company, and you're in the grip of firing your friend for the sake of the company, focus on other employees who are just as important as your friend.
"Friends are friends, but I don't think it can be like this either. I still have to think about my other colleagues in the office. If they are not heard, this company will be destroyed…"
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If your friend is underperforming or doesn't fit in his or her part, focus on making getting fired an opportunity for success elsewhere, not failure:
"You're talented, it's a shame if your talent isn't used properly… But sadly, it seems the place to show your talent isn't here…"
Step 3. Try to think that your firing can be used as an opportunity to calm the friend down, rather than a burden on you
At least your friend didn't get fired by a bitch who didn't care about his feelings, right? View this assignment as an (unpleasant) opportunity to use your knowledge of your friend to make the firing process as smooth as possible.
Method 3 of 3: Finding Alternatives
Step 1. Make a plan to improve performance
If you can give your friends a second chance, give them clear time to improve performance by teaching or training them to complete certain goals. Hold weekly meetings to discuss progress on work.
- Explain to your friend that he or she will be fired if the new target is not met within the allotted time. If the friend can't fulfill it, fire him because you've given him the best possible chance.
- Record your discussions and keep your notes along with other staffing records. You may need to deal with resistance by showing documentation of your conversation, so take good notes.
Step 2. Change your friend's title or job description
If you can, you might consider demoting your friend or asking him to resign to save his pride. You need to have the same conversation, which is to tell the friend that his performance is below expected, but that you value your friendship and want to offer the opportunity to work in a position with less responsibility.
- Arrange your friend's position so that his weakness can be covered in his new position so that no party is harmed. Your friend could step down in search of a more promising opportunity, or continue working in a position that gives them the opportunity to succeed.
- You can also consider promoting or moving your friends. While it may seem like "stones hiding your hand," if you can get your friend out without firing them, you can avoid unwanted confrontations. If you can find an equivalent job in another office for your friend, both of your problems can be solved.
Step 3. Let someone else do it
It could be that many conflicts of interest are involved when you fire your friend. If this happens, talk to your supervisor, subordinate, or office personnel to plan next steps.
Tips
- Make sure the company's targets can be achieved. If targets are too difficult to achieve, instead of firing employees, set more realistic targets or hire new employees if work targets are too difficult for existing staff to reach.
- Avoid discussing personal matters when you discuss work. Tell the employee that you need to keep work and friendship separate for the business to be successful -- because you both get paid for it.
- If you feel there are too many conflicts of interest involved when you fire a friend, talk to your supervisor or personnel for advice.
- Find new things to do as friends. If your friendship revolves around work, find new things you can do together.
- Consult the personnel and legal department in your office before firing the employee.
