Maybe you've been dating a shy guy for a few months, or you like a shy friend and want to ask him out. Whatever the situation, a relationship with an introvert requires understanding their temperament, but it can be a memorable one once you know how to deal with or deal with them. By understanding what he needs, you can build an interesting and fun relationship with a shy partner.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Taking the Initiative
Step 1. Take the first step
A shy guy may feel hesitant or reluctant to take the first step in a relationship. Instead of waiting for him to ask you out or kiss you, it's up to you to take the initiative. He may not be comfortable taking the initiative in such situations, and by taking the initiative you can at least reduce his burden.
Step 2. Plan a date that will allow her to cool off
Deciding what activities to do when dating a shy person requires consideration. You need to try to make him comfortable. Shy guys usually prefer simple dates that allow him to relax and open up slowly, rather than dates that require him to be open and talkative.
- As a date option, invite him to relax at home and watch a movie or spend some time in a quiet place (eg a park or even a golf course) instead of taking him to a busy bar with other friends. Dates with relaxing activities that don't just focus on the conversation will make her feel more comfortable.
- A date that gives him the opportunity to teach you the skills he's good at can also be a great option. In addition to familiarizing himself with the activity, his confidence will increase when he can teach you something.
Step 3. Ask open-ended questions
When dealing with a shy guy, you may need to put in more effort to keep the conversation going. This is difficult to do if by nature, he is not a person who likes to chat. To get him to say more than one word as a short answer, ask open-ended questions and avoid questions that can only be answered with a "yes" or "no".
For example, questions like “How did you become a great guitar player?” will encourage him to talk more about himself, rather than questions like “Do you like playing guitar?”
Step 4. Choose the right topic
While you can easily chat about what you like, he may have a hard time keeping up with the topic of the conversation. Therefore, try to choose topics that he is interested in and avoid topics that make him feel uncomfortable or withdrawn.
- For example, he may not be able to respond much to your last visit to a nail salon. However, he can tell you more about the musical the two of you watched after dinner a few days ago. Talk about topics you both understand or like.
- Also, don't forget to choose a topic that won't make him uncomfortable. Asking him to talk about his strained family relationship, for example, will only make him uncomfortable and stop talking.
Step 5. Try another communication method
If you're having trouble getting him to open up in person, try another form of communication. For example, he may have difficulty communicating face-to-face (when meeting), but feel more comfortable when chatting over the phone or texting. Give him the opportunity to interact in his way so that he feels more comfortable when he meets you. Social media platforms provide a variety of ways that can be used to communicate. Try messaging him on Facebook or Instagram to start a chat.
Step 6. Praise the effort
Building his confidence is an important aspect in encouraging him to open up. Make sure he knows that you appreciate the little things he does for you. By complimenting or thanking him for his kindness (eg taking out the trash, bringing coffee to work, or massaging your feet after work), he knows that you are paying attention to his actions, and not just his words. Praise and gratitude will make him feel loved and appreciated.
Make sure you compliment him too when he tries to open up. After the two of you have talked the night away, for example, let him know that you enjoyed the moment and would like to hear more of his thoughts and opinions
Part 2 of 4: Accepting His Temperament
Step 1. Don't take his attitude to heart
You may feel that his inability to open up is a sign of disinterest, but that's not always true. Shyness is a personal trait so you don't have to take it personally. Understand that he too may want to open up. It just takes more effort (and more time) than anyone else.
Step 2. Be patient
It won't just open up overnight. Breaking the ice is one of the hardest things about dealing with a shy guy and it can take a while. He may not have many friends in his social circle, but if you are willing to be patient and give him time to open up within his means, he will eventually accept you in his social circle.
Step 3. Show genuine acceptance
He may feel vulnerable or nervous whenever he tries to open up, so try to show him that you enjoy talking to him and want to know more about him. For example, if he makes a joke, laugh. If he tells you that he enjoys playing the guitar, say that you'd like to hear him play sometime. If he tells an embarrassing experience, reassure him that you won't tell the story, then share your own embarrassing experience.
Sometimes, over-enthusiasm for stories, jokes, hobbies, and other things can give you a "pretend" look. You should try to clearly show your interest, but don't fake a laugh or show any other reactions if you really don't want to
Part 3 of 4: Relieve the Tension He Feels
Step 1. Throw in a compliment
Once you know how to deal with him, you can also do a few things to make him feel more comfortable. You can ease his tension or nervousness by making sure he knows that you really like him. Show that he is an attractive person in your eyes, and you are happy when you meet him. However, you don't have to take extreme steps for him to find out. Even a simple text message was enough to ease the tension or nervousness he was feeling.
Compliment her hair or tell her that she has a cute smile. Text him a few hours before the date and let him know that you can't wait to meet and spend time with him
Step 2. Let the “quiet moments” appear
Since you are (or should be) a more open and conversational person, you may feel the need to fill every “quiet moment” with chat. Try to resist the temptation to speak up in the face of it. Shy men are usually comfortable with quiet pauses between chats. Instead of talking every time such a moment arises, take advantage of the moment by holding his hand or flashing a smile.
If you can't resist the temptation to fill in the blanks, take this moment to ask simple questions that encourage him to open up. For example, ask him what he thinks about the last book he read or ask him to share a childhood memory that he liked. Introverts don't feel the need to fill every quiet moment with small talk, so if you feel like talking, make sure it's meaningful
Step 3. Give him space
Shy people need more space and time for themselves than extroverts who are more open. For introverts, being constantly surrounded by other people is a drain on energy. They need time to be alone and recharge drained energy. Even if you want to spend a lot of time with your boyfriend, let him have some extra time for himself to keep the relationship going. After that, when the two of you get back to spending time together, he will feel more “refreshed” and energized.
For example, if you're both planning to go somewhere on the weekend, give him some time to be alone for a few days beforehand. He may need this extra time to do activities that calm him down and fill his energy, whether it's playing video games, reading a book, or just running
Part 4 of 4: Introducing Her to Friends and Family
Step 1. Introduce him slowly
If your relationship with him continues and develops, you may want to introduce him to friends and family. This is certainly a challenge for a shy person. Large social gatherings can be stressful so when you want to introduce them to friends and family, do so gradually and on a small “scale.” Thus, he will feel more comfortable and calm.
For example, instead of taking him straight to a festive family New Year's Eve party, invite him to dinner with his brother/sister and girlfriend first
Step 2. Provide support in social situations
Small gatherings, even those that seem more "casual" can put pressure on a shy person. You can encourage him to open up by staying close to him in social situations, and helping bring up topics he enjoys talking about.
- For example, tell him that he is a great guitar player while having dinner with his siblings, rather than waiting for him to reveal his talents.
- When providing support, you also need to be patient. He may need some time to feel comfortable around your friends and family. Give him time and don't be upset or disappointed if he can't open up right away as quickly as you'd like.
Step 3. Reinforce the action
He may feel nervous or anxious about the impression he makes in front of your family and friends. Give him positive reinforcement to show that all is well. In this way, her anxiety about the social situation at hand can be eased and hopefully she can open up more quickly.
