Has your relationship deteriorated? Are you looking forward to breaking up with your boyfriend? Breaking up a relationship is not easy, but surviving with someone you no longer care about is also difficult. Here are some quick and simple tips to help you break up with a girl. Remember: be wise and know what he is going through, and that this will make a big difference.
Step
Method 1 of 1: Break up with a Girl
Step 1. Find a good reason to break up with him
You need a reason to break up, even if your feelings have changed and he hasn't done anything wrong. When you date someone, you "ow" them an explanation. You also want to be given an explanation if a girl dumps you, right?
- The following are some of the common reasons why people break up with their boyfriends:
- Cheating. A courtship relationship is a two-person relationship, not a three-person relationship.
- Do not appreciate. Your boyfriend doesn't treat you like he should.
- Manipulative relationship. Your boyfriend is using you to get what he wants.
- No more love. You realize, after a while, you don't feel the way you used to anymore.
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Distance. The distance that separates the two of you makes your relationship difficult. #Find a quiet, undisturbed place. Breaking up in person can be very difficult, but nevertheless, you owe him this. Where you can do it can actually be anywhere - in the room, the park, the schoolyard, as long as there isn't much to distract the two of you.
Break up With a Girl Step 2 - A quiet public area is probably a good choice for two reasons. It will be harder to fight in public because everyone is looking at you. The time you need to decide is usually also shorter if it's done in a public place.
- Never disconnect via sms or email. Try not to break up over the phone. This will make you look bad, and your future-girlfriend will probably tell all the other girls what you've done.
Step 2. Start clear
It's not easy, but removing the bandage quickly will be much less painful than delaying it. If you can, just say so:
- Example: "I hate having to do this because you mean so much to me, but I think we should break up."
- Example: "I'm really working hard on this right now, so I'm sorry if I said something bad, but I think we should separate."
- Example: "Maybe you're not surprised to hear that, but I think we should break up."
Step 3. Give him an honest explanation
Tell the truth. Explain why you want to break up. Explain in detail, but don't mention everything in your relationship that was bad - as this will make him angry and against you.
Example: "I know this isn't what you want to hear, and if I could change it, I would change how I feel. Actually, I don't know if we really get along. I don't get along with your friends, and you don't get along with mine. You don't like sports, but I really do. I tried to ignore our differences at first, but I couldn't anymore. I honestly thought you and I would be happy with someone else."
Step 4. Take responsibility for your mistakes, if possible
If your boyfriend cheated on you, manipulated you, or didn't respect you, there's probably nothing for you to apologize for. But on the other hand, a relationship usually goes both ways: his actions, will affect yours, which means you may be responsible for what went wrong in your relationship. Apologize if you feel you should apologize:
- Example: "I know I deserve to be blamed. I shouldn't let you disrespect me or my friends; I could just say I don't like it, and maybe you'll change. But this has become a problem that I don't think we can change anymore."
- Example: "It was partly my fault. I pushed you away and you really need someone, and I thought you could say I made you go to her. I understand why you did that, but I can't forgive you right now. Maybe someday I will. can."
Step 5. Calm and rest assured
The word break up can spark an argument about what else is wrong in your relationship. The key is you need to stay calm and try to think like him, and don't try to win your argument. He would probably fight with other facts; he might as well swear at you (If you were him, you'd probably do this too, right?). Think about his words, don't get angry, and try your best not to make him feel bad.
If you are truly saddened by the breakup, and you think this will calm him down, express your feelings. Ask if you can hug him; put a hand on his shoulder; looked into her eyes and smiled sincerely. This can calm him down a bit at a difficult time like this
Step 6. Talk to her, but keep it short
Maybe he had a question; answer honestly. He may have another side of the story he wants to tell; listen to him. Let him release his emotions.
- If you notice the explanation is spinning, say it gently: "I know it's tough, but we're just going in circles. Can I give you some time to think about it?"
- Offer him a chance to discuss it another time. Say something like: "I know this is hard to understand all at once. So am I. Maybe you want to talk about it another time when our emotions have calmed down."
Step 7. Follow the list of "don'ts
" There may not be a "protocol" for breaking up, but there are some things you should never do when breaking up with anyone, no matter who they are. This includes:
- Don't give false hope. If you think you guys can be friends after, break up just say so. This is better than giving him false hope. #* Don't tell people about you. What happens to you is a matter between you and him. It's okay to tell your best friend, but don't tell everyone about you.
- Don't date anyone before you break up. This is called cheating. Be patient and wait until you really break up if you fall in love with someone else.
- Don't use breaking up as an excuse to treat them badly. Whatever he may have done to you, making his life miserable would not be worth it. Respect yourself and treat them the way you want to be treated. This will make it easier for you to break up.
Tips
- None of the reasons listed above include "You're too ugly," or "I've met prettier girls," or "I've met prettier people." You have to find reasons that are not too superficial, and reasons that can justify your break up.
- Don't avoid it after the breakup. This will make him think you're afraid to meet him and have secrets he doesn't want him to know.
- Don't make your friends or his friends hate him after the breakup. Not only will this hurt him, it will make him very angry, and will likely slap you if he can.
- Make sure that you disconnect directly. Breaking up online, or over the phone can give the impression that you're scared, and he may not understand what you're saying: "We have to find someone else" on the phone or on Facebook. He'll understand better if you say it in person, and maybe you guys can still be friends.
