Sneaky goats are often associated with situations where we are between friends and partners (or potential partners) and feel uncomfortable. This is really unpleasant, especially if you're around people you'd like to get to know better. Follow the instructions in this article and you too will feel good!
Step
Step 1. Make room for your friends
It's painful, but you have to look at the situation and realize that your friend needs some privacy with their partner or potential partner, especially if they're in a new relationship. Try to be patient while your friend is still working on the dynamics of this new relationship and don't be afraid you won't see her again.
- Cut down on your conversations by text or phone. In these circumstances, your friend may not be able to communicate with you as often as he used to because he's focused on your partner or potential new partner. Don't be offended because this is natural.
- Let your friends contact you more often. While you can still try to contact him every now and then, allow your more frequent friend to take the initiative to contact you as his new relationship develops.
- Remember that your friends still need you. If your friend and their new boyfriend ask you to spend time with them, it's a good idea to accept it if it doesn't feel awkward and try to invite them to spend some time together as well. A relationship is a two-way street and your friend will look forward to hearing from you anyway.
Step 2. Find other friends
While you can still spend time with friends and their boyfriends, it's a good idea to have other friends options so you don't have to stay home on a Sunday night while your friend spends time with her boyfriend. Sure, you'll miss your friend, but you can still keep yourself busy by doing new activities or making new friends.
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Use this opportunity to try a new interest or hobby. You could join a bowling league or book club so you can learn something new.
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Do something your friends won't do with you. Is your friend afraid of heights while you always wanted to climb a cliff? Is he vegetarian while you want to try that new seafood restaurant? This is your chance to explore something new.
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Turn old acquaintances into friends. Do you know the girl in English class well but never spend time with her outside of class, or have any of your schoolmates recently moved close by? Now you have the opportunity to spend time with new people who can become your close friends.
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Spending time alone can be useful. If you're trying to make new friends but still have a lot of alone time because your best friend is busy on their own, take this opportunity to have some fun "me time". You could finish a thick book you never had time to read, undergo a manicure and pedicure treatment, or watch a television show that your best friend never wanted to see. Don't be sad about having to spend time alone--use this time to strengthen your personality and pursue your interests.
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Step 3. Take the time to meet one-on-one with your friend
It's important to maintain an exclusive friendship with your friend, even if he or she is very attached to her boyfriend. It's easier to keep the friendship dynamic strong, and just be yourself, if you have time to meet your friend without her boyfriend.
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Take time to do activities that you and your friend enjoy that your boyfriend or girlfriend may not be interested in, such as watching a favorite classic movie together. This is a better option than interrupting your best friend's romantic date.
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Try to meet every week. You can create a new routine because your best friend is currently busy with her boyfriend. You can schedule a weekly dinner or weekly drink, or schedule a sporting event or other shared activity that you enjoy. If sometimes your friend is very busy during the week, make sure to at least call him on Sunday to get the latest news.
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Step 4. Don't make the situation weird
You might feel a little weird being a geek, but emphasizing this will only make matters worse. If your friend and boyfriend are constantly reminding you that you're not a part of their relationship, then your friend is signaling you to come home early.
- When you're spending time with this new partner, it's a good idea not to mention you're "the goofy goat" or "the single one because they might become even more uncomfortable.
- If you don't have a boyfriend, you can certainly make jokes about it, but if you keep saying, "I knew I couldn't have a relationship like you guys," the new partner could feel guilty and be reluctant to spend time with you. If you're too busy feeling sorry for yourself to enjoy your time with them, they may find it's better for them to spend time alone.
- Remember to always try to be assertive if the new partner starts acting out of line. If they're busy making out in front of you, you might as well say something or do something to avoid it.
Step 5. Try spending time with this new partner under the right circumstances
If you want to have fun with your new partner, it's a good idea to choose an activity that doesn't make you feel neglected. There's a time and a place for everything--even for being the goofy goat.
- Anything romantic should be avoided--from a walk in the park or a romantic candlelight dinner at a new French restaurant with your new partner. Even if your friend insists it's okay if you come along, it's best if you think about it clearly.
- Activities that can be enjoyed together by a large group are the safest activities. Joining your friends and their loved ones for a play on the beach with a group of friends or taking quizzes at a local bar can be a lot of fun because each person makes a contribution.
- Spend time with them if your friend really wants to. Pay attention to your friend's tone of voice to see if he invited you out of necessity or because he really wanted to see you. If he invites you to spend time with him and his girlfriend out of compassion, neither will you.
Step 6. Take advantage of your friend's new lover
Maybe this new relationship disappointed you at first, but try to view this relationship as an opportunity to have a better love life. If you're looking for a lover, your friend's new lover can help you find it.
- If you're looking for a girlfriend, maybe your best friend's girlfriend can introduce you to her single friends.
- Or if you respect your best friend's new boyfriend and you're looking for a girlfriend yourself, you can ask her opinion on what the guy thinks.
- This new relationship of your friend can be an opportunity for you to ask your crush to go out with them foursome. If you're embarrassed to ask, you can use this pair as an excuse. You could say your friend has a dinner appointment for four at a restaurant or she has an extra ticket and see if she wants to come with you.
Step 7. View this problem as a test of your friendship
If your best friend is a true friend, he will always be there for you. No relationship can stand in the way of your strong friendship.
- Try to be patient--but don't be persistent. While it's okay for your friend to be busy with their love story for a while, if your best friend didn't pay attention to you at the start of their relationship, they may not actually be a very good friend.
- If your friend disappears every time you have a new boyfriend or potential boyfriend, maybe you should rethink your friendship.
Tips
- Make some kind of signal that you and this new partner know that they are about to cross the line.
- Don't overthink it. Chances are you're not actually a whiny goat. If your friend and boyfriend keep inviting you to spend time together, it could be that they enjoy your presence or they're inviting you out of kindness.
