You see them standing in front of you at the grocery store. Maybe you meet them at work, school – or worse, in your extended family! They are…stupid people. And sadly, they are everywhere. But that doesn't mean you have to let them piss you off or spend hours frustrated by their inability to be rational and "understanding" human beings. You can't always ignore them, but you can find effective and non-degrading ways to deal with them. So how? Please follow.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Adjusting Your Perspective
Step 1. Lower your standards
This is difficult, but very important. Part of the reason you continue to be frustrated by the stupidity of the world is that you expect everyone to be as smart as you, your closest friends, or those you have great respect for. However, as the saying goes, "It takes all kinds of people to make up the world" – and that includes idiots! Remind yourself that "average" people will not live up to your high expectations in the way they think and act, so to adjust lower your standards.
If you don't expect people to be sharp and polite, then you'll be surprised when they are – rather than continuing to be disappointed when they don't live up to your expectations
Step 2. Understand that they may not have the luck you have, genetically or environmentally
Intelligence is largely determined by genetics, but chance can make a difference to overall "intelligence." One of the reasons you may be so smart is because you came from a happy home, got a good education, and you never got caught up in having to take care of a family member, work part-time in high school, or take on other responsibilities that kept you from spending your time in high school. time to be smarter than others. When one stupid person frustrates you, ask yourself if that person has the same opportunities as you – chances are, you'll see that it doesn't.
- Intelligence is not determined by education or family or wealth or love. However, the development of skills and knowledge can be influenced by one's opportunities and life experiences
- Reminding yourself to treat everyone on a case-by-case basis will lessen your frustration, because you'll stop asking yourself why this person isn't acting like you.
Step 3. Understand that you can't change their mind
This is an important point to understand before you find yourself mingling with stupid people. You might think that common sense or fact wins out every time, and that an idiot will go and think, "Wow, I never thought of it that way…" after you've given him a double dose of logic. However, this is unlikely to happen; if a person is stupid, chances are he has his own way too.
- If you realize that, even if you have a perfectly valid and reasonable opinion, you won't be able to easily convince a fool of your point of view, then you should stop trying. And if you stop trying to get stupid people to understand your point, they'll probably be less frustrated.
- Remember that your goal is not to get stupid people to agree with you; but to keep yourself calm and sane when dealing with them.
Step 4. Don't judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree
As Albert Einstein said, “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. This means you have to take into account the fact that the person you're dealing with isn't exactly stupid, although he may be dumb in one or two areas where you would expect him to be smart. The girl in your math class who can't add numbers is probably a brilliant poet; the person who can't get your latte order right is probably a great musician. Stop thinking that there is only one way to be smart or stupid and you will start to see that this person is more capable than you think.
Think about it: if people can only be smart or stupid about one thing, then there are probably people out there who don't think YOU are very smart. And that's not true, is it?
Step 5. Try to see each situation from their perspective
Another way to change your approach to stupid people is to consider the situation from their perspective. Of course, you may think that there is only one way to look at gun control, or that you feel right to be a vegetarian, but before you set out on a path, make sure you have a reasonable understanding of the other side.
Also, seeing where the person is coming from can help you understand their point of view – if they grew up in a conservative area and you in a big city, then yes, you won't see all things the same way
Step 6. Arm yourself with knowledge
Knowledge is power. Especially when you are dealing with an ignorant person. If you want to deal with stupid people in the best way you can, then you have to get the facts clear. Read as much as you can, listen to informative audio, watch and read the news. The more facts, stats, and talking points you know, the easier it will be for you to silence a fool.
While your goal isn't always to prove you're right when talking to a fool (what's the point anyway?), the more he sees that you've done your research, the less likely he'll be to engage with you
Part 2 of 3: Be Smart in Face to face
Step 1. Avoid controversial topics
If you want to deal with stupid people right now, then you have to avoid anything that could upset them, get angry, or start a war to prove you wrong. If you know this person has a pretty stupid opinion, why bother talking about something serious – it might mean a lot to you. Just make small talk ("Hi, how are you?") if you have to be with the person on a daily basis, and don't bother talking about topics that can be contentious.
Even if you know that this person has a stupid opinion on a controversial topic and you want to "beat him," avoid the temptation. Not worth it – either for you or your blood pressure
Step 2. Beat him with kindness
If someone is acting really stupid, it's likely that being nice to that person is the last thing on your mind, which is precisely why you should be the best you can be. If you can be nice, then the behavior will distract him and possibly confuse him, leaving him with no choice but to be nice back and stop being so stupid. If you are rude, condescending, or even cruel, it will encourage him to continue being stupid. Just grit your teeth and be nice, no matter how much it hurts, and that idiot's annoyance will start to lessen.
Remember that it is easier to be nice and polite than cruel and mean. Being a bad person is bad for the soul and stress levels, and you are doing yourself a favor for your own mental health by being as nice to that person as possible
Step 3. Stay away from pointless debates
It has to do with avoiding controversial topics. If the idiot happens to bring up a controversial topic and goes on to share a very stupid opinion on the matter, resist the temptation to get involved and prove him wrong. Be polite, say something like, "You're entitled to your own opinion." or "Very interesting." without mentioning that you really disagree. Then, change the topic or excuse yourself.
There's really no point in getting into an argument with a fool, even if you think it will give you some temporary relief
Step 4. Control your emotions
Stupid people are very professional at upsetting other people or getting angry. But from now on, you won't let stupid people make you feel this way – it's a waste. If you want to be dominant in a conversation with him, you have to be calm; controlling emotions is smart. You don't want to end up like a fool just because you can't control your feelings.
- Be patient. It might take a while for a fool to understand. Don't get angry or frustrated right away – give him a chance.
- If you feel angry at something this person has said, just sing the song this person is stupid, this person is stupid, this person is stupid in your head as many times as you can until you realize there is no point in paying too much attention to what he says.
- If you feel angry, count down from fifty, count your breaths, or ask yourself to go for a walk – do whatever you can to calm yourself down before facing the person again – if you do have to deal with them again.
- Don't give a fool the satisfaction of knowing that he has a lot of power over you. When he sees that he has such a strong effect on you, he will feel like a smarter person.
Step 5. Ask him to clarify opinions with facts
If you're very frustrated with a stupid person, you can get him to stop talking by asking him to support his own opinion. Chances are this guy has a lot of silly ideas he can't keep up with. Asking for factual support will usually stop him and will prevent the conversation from escalating. Here are some polite things you can say to get the person to stop talking:
- "Oh, I see? Where did you read about that?"
- "Did you base that idea on an article in last week's paper? Because it seems like the article says otherwise…"
- "That's very interesting. Do you know the percentage of people who actually do that?"
- "It's amazing that you have such strong opinions about California. How long were you there? You must have lived there a long time to form such an interesting perspective."
Step 6. Ignore them if there is no better option
While ignoring people is a bit rude and immature, there are cases where this is the best option. For example, if you're in a group, and you don't want to leave the social interaction just because one person is stupid, you can act as if that person wasn't there, or not respond to any comments. Chances are, if this person's opinion is very stupid, other people will fight it – or better yet, people will ignore it too.
- If the person directs a stupid comment at you, simply smile and act like what he said is fun instead of having to get involved with it.
- While it's totally wrong to ignore stupid people, it's a great way to keep stupid people from talking to you.
Step 7. Opt away whenever you can
Staying away is a fantastic option whenever possible. Of course, you can't walk away from a stupid boss unless you want to put your job in jeopardy, but you can walk away from a stupid person yelling at you at the grocery store, or leaving a situation where a stupid person is trying to annoy you.. Staying away is also a good way to calm yourself down if you start to feel provoked by anger.
Just say, "Sorry, I have to go," if the idiot makes more sense, or leave without saying anything when there's no point in explaining
Part 3 of 3: Don't Let Them Influence You
Step 1. Don't be offended
It can be almost impossible not to take offense at a stupid person's comment, especially when it's meant to hurt you. However, if you really want to deal with stupid people in the best possible way, then you can't let them influence you and have to learn to ignore what they have to say. When you're offended and in pain, you're giving them power they don't need to have. Remind yourself that this person is stupid, and that their opinion shouldn't matter to you.
Your self-worth cannot be determined by the opinions of people whose level of intelligence you can't even appreciate. Remember that the next time you let a fool make you feel small
Step 2. Acknowledge their strengths (if any)
Trying to be positive and giving stupid people the benefit of the doubt is another great tactic for not letting stupid people influence you. Sure, maybe your boss isn't very good at communication; but think of the good things he has done for the company as a whole. Maybe your cousin has no mind not to disclose your personal information to the public; but he's great at making you feel better when you're having a bad day.
Remind yourself that not all "stupid" people are bad, and they also have some positive qualities. This is something to keep in mind if you want to stay sane around stupid people, especially when you're dealing with people you have to see often, like classmates or coworkers
Step 3. Don't complain about them to other people
Sure, a coworker or friend you don't like may have said something so stupid that you felt the urge to tell the ten closest people in your circle of friends about it. You may want to send out an email or a mass message, going into every detail of how stupid this person is, but in the end, it will only make you feel more irritated, angry, frustrated, and annoyed.
- And worst of all, it will give the idiot even more power – if you really knew that this person was stupid and annoying, then you wouldn't be spending a lot of time worrying about what he was saying, would you?
- If the person is really upsetting you, you can discuss it with a close friend, but don't let it become an obsession or ruin your day.
Step 4. Show respect whenever you can
This may seem impossible in the face of obvious stupidity, but you should have respect for people who are truly stupid. Treat her like the Queen of England or the head of your company if necessary. Treating a fool like a human being deserves it will make you do the right thing – and encourage that person to behave with more dignity in the future.
Resist your first urge. Sure, you've probably thought of a perfect reply or a scathing comment, but remind yourself before you say it that it's getting you nowhere
Step 5. Be grateful for all the smart people in your life (including yourself
).
Dealing with stupid people on a daily basis will make you much more grateful for the existence of all the calm, rational, and intelligent people you know. If you continue to feel irritated by stupid people, it is most likely because you have a very intelligent group of friends or family members and that you have high standards when it comes to the intelligence of others.
Instead of feeling frustrated by the stupid person in front of you, remind yourself that you are lucky to have a partner, best friend, mother, or circle of friends or colleagues who are intelligent. This will make you grateful for the positive people in your life, instead of letting stupid people influence the best parts of you
Tips
- Always calm.
- Don't get involved in a lot of conversation; rarely speak so that the fool understands.
- Isolate yourself from that person if necessary.
- Don't criticize them, and if you have to, do so politely, and be patient.
Warning
- Don't be cruel. They may not be able to do anything to change it or they may not realize what they are doing.
- Never threaten to kill them. If they're young they probably won't understand your jokes and get so angry that they tell your parents or call the police!
