Often people around you say that you are too serious? Do you feel that you can't relax, even though the people around you are having fun? Do you wish you could understand a joke? If you answered “yes”, now is the time to dress comfortably, throw away your worries, and learn to relax! If you want to know how to change, from a person who likes to worry about everything to a girl on the beach who has nothing to worry about other than when the sun goes down, read step 1 to get started.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Changing Your Perspective
Step 1. Accept the fact that you can't manage everything
One of the main reasons why some people can't relax is the desire to manage every situation. They want to predict exactly what will happen and when. They want to know when they will be successful, how their boss/best friend/parents will respond, and they want to believe that they know exactly what to do to get what they want. Unfortunately, real life is not like that. Life is full of surprises and challenges, both good and bad. If you want to relax, you must be prepared to accept anything, both expected and unexpected.
- It takes small steps to get there. One way to start is to think about the various possibilities that could happen. For example, imagine that you are being considered for a promotion at work. Instead of assuming that you will get it, think about the possibilities and how you would react to each condition. Maybe you're about to get promoted, or maybe you're told that you'll get one soon, or maybe you're told that you have to work even harder to get one. Whatever happens, you're prepared, and you won't be too shocked when the "unexpected" happens.
- There are some things you can't anticipate. Maybe you and your boyfriend are on your way to a very romantic place but suddenly your car breaks down in the middle of the road. It sucks, but you have to learn to laugh at what you can't control.
- Stop being the one who plans everything, even the little things. If you keep planning what you're going to do every fifteen minutes of the day, you're bound to be frustrated and disappointed if something doesn't go your way.
Step 2. Get rid of unrealistic standards
It could be one of the reasons you can not relax is this. You might expect everyone to be well-behaved throughout the day. Maybe you think that your teacher, boss, friend, girlfriend, or anyone else in your life can read your mind all the time. Maybe you think that the world should give you what you deserve. However, if you want to relax, you have to learn to accept the imperfections around you. If you want to always be able to determine how the attitude of the people around you, you should spend your time playing SIMS only.
- When you stop expecting that people will behave the way you want, you will feel good when you are surprised by an attitude that exceeds your expectations.
- Nobody is perfect. Sometimes they are rude, insensitive and childish. And that's okay. Remember the advice to stop managing things. Get rid of your unreasonably high expectations about everything around you. If you do this, you can definitely relax.
- In this case, you should also throw away the unrealistic standards you have set for yourself. If you wished you could be an Oscar-winning CEO/actress/best-selling author when you were 25, you're bound to be disappointed when that doesn't happen.
Step 3. Don't be afraid to make mistakes
People who are always uptight will argue when things don't go according to plan because they made a mistake, big or small. You must learn to accept failure as a learning experience, rather than punishing yourself for not doing your best. Mistakes are a part of life and life will not be fun if we can complete all the work like robots. If you make a mistake, think about what you can learn from the mistake, what you can do to correct it, and how you can use this knowledge in the future.
People who can't relax keep hoping that they are always perfect so they feel like big losers if they make a mistake in their endeavors
Step 4. Learn to ignore and accept
People who can't relax are always thinking about the small mistakes that other people have made and the annoying nature of that person. Maybe Katie was too drunk at your birthday party, or your lab coworker forgot to do his part on a project you two worked on together, and that sucks. But how much energy are you willing to waste just regretting the actions of others? The correct answer is: none. Learn to take a deep breath, accept that there are different kinds of people in this world, and move on with your life.
- If someone continues to be annoying and it's almost driving you crazy, take a deep breath, isolate yourself in the restroom if you need to, and learn to ignore it. The worst thing you can do is tell everyone around you how annoying that person is. Talking about it will only make you look agitated and will make you feel worse.
- Think about what's next. Will Bill's attitude or Mallory's big mouth continue to annoy you twelve hours later? If the answer is no, how about you stop thinking about it now?
Step 5. You must be realistic about what you can expect in a given situation
It can also help you relax more. Before you enter into a particular situation, think about the things that might happen rather than the one thing you hoped would happen, and you'll be fine. Let's take the example that you are planning a birthday party for yourself. The most ideal scenario is for all the invited guests to come, your party is the best party they've ever been to, they'll be talking about it for years, and so on. However, in reality there are bound to be things that don't go according to plan. Maybe some guests couldn't make it to your party, some people drank too much tequila and hit your bookshelf, and maybe your crush is acting like an idiot. The more scenarios you can imagine, the less likely you are to panic when something unexpected happens.
It's not that you don't maintain a positive attitude and hope for the best. However, if you consider all the possibilities, you are less likely to panic and cause a stir when something unpleasant happens
Step 6. Don't take yourself too seriously
This trait is often present in people who can not relax. Maybe you find it hard to laugh when you're in a crisis, to understand when they're just playing with you, or even to understand your own weaknesses because you think you're a very serious, important, and busy person who doesn't want to admit your own imperfections. Make a list of all your weaknesses and learn to laugh at them. It's better to be aware of your own weaknesses than to wait for someone else to show you.
The key is not to be overly sensitive. If you act like you're about to cry or feel offended by every word people say about you, no one can feel comfortable around you. You don't want to be someone who stops other people from just having a little fun, do you?
Step 7. Look at the situation from the other person's point of view
Another way to relax is to understand why annoying people act the way they do. Maybe Marcia allowed herself to get too drunk at your birthday party and she's trying to make out with your lights. It might be annoying, but remember that Marcia was dumped by her boyfriend that week and she's been acting weird ever since. Maybe Mark didn't turn in his assignments on time; remember that recently he had to take care of his sick mother and her condition was not so good either. Humans are just people, and if you think about reasons why their behavior isn't to your liking, you may be more prepared to accept their attitude.
That's not to say that there's always a good reason for someone else's actions that go beyond the limits. However, there is often an explanation for the deed, if you want to dig a little deeper. And that's what people who need to relax depend on in their lives – explanations
Part 2 of 3: Taking Action
Step 1. Have fun without racking your brain
You can still think of yourself as a smart person or a serious person when you have fun every now and then. Go bowling. Play charades (guess the style). Drink wine until you get a little drunk and laugh with your best friend. Put on a cute costume. Running on the beach. Do something that requires 0% brain power. It will be fun. Let go of your worries, ambitions, and problems and live your life for the moment. Living life and having fun and acting a little stupid will help you be happier and lessen your tension.
- Do something spontaneous. You don't have to plan a specific time to have fun without racking your brain. If you're out with your friends and suddenly you don't want to talk about stock options, do something funny and stupid!
- Do something completely new. Take salsa dance lessons, watch comedy shows, and get fake tattoos on your friends' faces. It would be great if the activity appealed to fifth graders – just do it!
Step 2. Learn to accept jokes
This is the key to being a more relaxed person. If someone makes fun of you, makes you the object of a joke, or makes a joke in response to a comment you've made, learn to laugh it off – or maybe reply to the joke! If you can't accept jokes, even if they aren't meant to hurt you, you'll gain a reputation for being too serious and unpleasant. Laugh at yourself, accept the person's words, and respond. If the joke was meant to hurt, you have every right to be offended. But in general, people just want you to be ready to be joked and tell you that no one is perfect.
Step 3. Break some rules
It's not that you have to steal a car or an iPod. However, you have to stop being so obsessed with rules that you go crazy when you see other people breaking them. Do not always do assignments according to applicable rules. You will find it much more enjoyable when you do things your own way rather than doing what other people want all the time.
If you're out with your friends who are behaving a little recklessly – drinking too much, speeding, being a little annoying at the drive-thru – you might be the one to say, “Stop it, guys!” or you can say yes and see that nothing bad happened
Step 4. Take time to rest
Sometimes, you just need to take a break in the midst of your busy life to truly relax. If you feel that you are already very tense in the midst of your work, college, or even time to have fun with your friends, maybe you need to cool your head for a few minutes, go outside, look at pictures of adorable cats, call your mom., or do anything that can make you feel normal again. There's nothing wrong with taking time to rest in the midst of your busy life, and it doesn't mean you're weak. When you need to get out for a while in a stressful situation and it just relaxes you, do it!
If you're a type A person who likes to work hard, you may feel that you can't rest until your work is done. However, in reality, if you rest for half an hour, you will be able to complete the work more easily because your mind is clearer
Step 5. Rest
One of the reasons why you find it difficult to relax is because your body is constantly tired without you even realizing it. If you get enough rest, you will be provided with sufficient energy and a clear mind to face your day, and you will not be distracted by the most basic challenges you may face. Sleep for at least 7-8 hours. Go to bed at about the same time at night and wake up at about the same time. Limit caffeine consumption after noon so you don't feel tense and restless when it's time for bed. These small changes can have a big impact on how you see the world.
If you are really feeling stressed during the day, don't underestimate the benefits of sleeping for 15-20 minutes to refresh your body
Step 6. Exit
Just by getting outside, getting some fresh air, and walking for 20 minutes will you feel more relaxed, more at peace, and at one with the world. Make sure that you go out 2-3 times a day if you work from home or if you spend most of your time at home. You will be surprised that you feel more relaxed and refreshed just from being outside, and the little things no longer bother you.
Step 7. Go out with relaxed people
This is very important. If you want to relax and not obsess over being perfect, you have to spend time with people who are more relaxed than you are. You don't have to pick a hippie who loves to play guitar, but that person shouldn't be obsessed with the little things in life. They can do things spontaneously and relax when they want to. Their attitude will rub off on you and, without waiting too long, you'll feel more relaxed.
On the other hand, if you go out with a very serious person, who is obsessed with perfect grades, perfect careers, and so on, you are bound to become a more serious person too
Step 8. Organize your life
Tidying up your desk or your closet may not sound like a step to a more relaxed life. However, you will find that if you are tidier and more prepared, you will be more relaxed. It could be that you find it harder to relax because you can't find anything in your closet or you're always missing important documents, or because of the chaos in your life. So take some time (maybe just 30 minutes per day) to start tidying up the space around you, and you'll be surprised how much lighter you feel.
Step 9. Exercise
By exercising, you can burn off your anger, give your body a positive outlet, and provide enough energy to get through your day. Set a goal to exercise at least 30 minutes per day, be it by running, cycling, rock climbing, or swimming, and you will feel how it will destroy the negative energy that you have stored up. Invite your friends to work out with you so you can laugh while burning calories.
If you're always stressed, you may feel that you don't have time for things like exercise. However, if you manage your schedule, there is definitely time to take care of your mind and body
Part 3 of 3: Trying to Relax
Step 1. Get a massage
Go to a massage parlor and relieve tension in your neck, back, and body. If you're not comfortable with that, ask one of your best friends to give you a massage. This will definitely help you relax more, especially when you are very stressed or tense. Don't reject it until you try it. Once you try it, before you know it, you'll be signing up for a massage every week!
Step 2. Do yoga
Yoga has proven to be beneficial for a healthy mind and body, and helps people relax and live in the moment. You can take a dedicated yoga class if you want to move more, or you can take a more calming, meditation-focused class if you want to focus your mind. Practicing 2-3 times a week can make you more relaxed and focused. If you really enjoyed the class, you may eventually be able to practice on your own.
Step 3. Dance
Turn on some loud music and dance alone in your room, or have a spontaneous dance competition with your friends. Whether it's at home, at a club, or in a dance class, dancing can help you dissipate negative energy, learn to experiment and not take yourself too seriously, and help you unwind and have fun.
Step 4. Meditate
Meditating for 10-20 minutes per day can help you relax and unwind throughout the day. Find a quiet place in your home, sit down, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Feel your breath going in and out of your body as you relax each part of your body one by one. Ignore noise or other distractions and focus on getting to a quiet and happy place. When you're done, you'll be better equipped to take on the challenges at hand.
Step 5. Drink a glass of tea or coffee
For many people, the habit of preparing a cup of tea or coffee is relaxing, as is enjoying the drink itself. So, do this morning ritual to start your day calmly and relaxed. Remember not to overdo it on caffeine because you will only get more tensed by it.
Step 6. Laugh more
Laughter is indeed the best medicine and laughter can make you more relaxed, no matter how bad your day. Make it a habit to laugh more every day, whether that's watching comedy movies, watching funny videos on YouTube, spending more time with your funniest friends, or watching comedy shows. It may seem a little strange to "force" yourself to laugh, but it will help you face any challenge and laugh at your weaknesses rather than feeling tense every time something doesn't go your way.
Step 7. Consider the possibility that you will need to make a major change in your life so you can relax
Maybe your job is making you suffer. Maybe your three best friends are overly serious and uptight people, which turns you into a worrier for no apparent reason. Maybe you spend too much time doing what your parents expect and you feel that you don't have time to do what you really want. If changing your attitude and making small changes isn't working for you, maybe you need to pause and think about the big changes you need to make to make you happier going forward.
Make a list of all the things that make you stressed and unhappy. If you find a particular pattern and it's all coming from one source, it may be time for some big action. This may be scary, but in the end you will be a happier person because of it
Tips
- Travel alone
- Stretch your muscles. Release your shoulders.
- Don't do any work while you're trying to relax.
- Take a deep breath.
- Enjoy nature. Water your plants. Visit your garden.
- Look for good food.
- Drink water slowly.
