Finding out if your co-worker has a crush on you can be a strange affair. Not only will you get mixed signals from the person, but you may also not be able to respond well to them due to the limitations of the workplace environment. However, there's a lot you can do to determine if he really has a crush on you. By reading nonverbal communication and interactions, you will better understand how he really feels.
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Part 1 of 3: Reading Nonverbal Communication
Step 1. Observe how he treats your personal space
If he does have a crush, he's probably going to enter your private space more often than if he doesn't have a crush on you.
- Does he enter your private space in a warm, non-threatening manner? He may want to stay close to you or show his affection.
- Observe if he enters your private space to touch your shoulder or hair, to touch or pat your hand, or to pass by repeatedly.
- Always observe how people treat others around you before judging if someone has a crush on you.
- Don't confuse people you're close to when you talk, or people who don't know or value other people's personal space with people who have feelings for you.
Step 2. See if he has a reason to be around you
Another nonverbal way to tell if a coworker has a crush on you is to watch if he's trying to get close to you. If so, it might be a sign that he has a crush on you.
- If he doesn't have a clear and reasonable reason to approach you, but he always does, there's a good chance he has feelings for you.
- If he's around you a lot but does it out of necessity, chances are he doesn't have feelings for you.
Step 3. See if he notices you
Take a moment and try to see if he notices you often. When combined with other cues, paying attention can reflect the fact that he has a crush on you. A coworker may have a crush on you if:
- He glanced furtively all day for no apparent reason.
- He stares, blinks, or otherwise piques your interest with his gaze during meetings or other occasions at work.
- He often observes your posture.
Step 4. Look at his body language
Body language is important in determining if someone has a crush on you. By paying attention to body language, you'll get some important clues as to how he feels about you.
- Does he stand in front of you in an attractive or casual way? If his arms and legs are open and his posture is relaxed, he may be attracted to you.
- Is he signaling that he is distant from you? If he's standing with his arms crossed or pulling away, he may be nervous or not interested in you at all.
- Always pay attention to body language along with other signs and cues that the person sends.
Part 2 of 3: Communicating with Coworkers
Step 1. Notice if he compliments you often
Compliments or other positive expressions may indicate that he appreciates you or even has a crush on you.
- If he constantly compliments you on the work you do at work, it may mean that he only values you as a coworker.
- If he compliments your physical appearance or something else that has nothing to do with work, it may mean that he has a romantic interest in you.
- Don't take the compliment itself as an indication that he has a crush on you. Assess praise in the context of other factors.
Step 2. Pay attention to what he is talking about
The topic of your chat with him can give you a pretty solid clue about his feelings for you. Pay little attention to what he's saying and the type of conversation he's starting. Ask yourself:
- Did he pass on very personal information? If so, it may be a sign that he sees you as more than just an acquaintance.
- Is he talking about sex, intimacy, or romantic attraction? Maybe this is a way to get your attention romantically.
- Does he entrust something to you? This shows that he sees you as more than just a coworker.
- Does he invite you to activities outside of work? This can be a sure sign that he has a crush on you.
Step 3. Ask him about romance
After seeing his other cues, you may just need to ask him if he has a crush on you. While not easy and convenient, it will give you the results you want.
- Say something like “Do you think our relationship goes beyond a work relationship?”
- If you don't want to ask a direct question, try using humor to compensate. You can joke about how other employees are avoiding you, then say "You don't seem to hate me like the others."
- Be careful about stating that you want more than just a working relationship.
Part 3 of 3: Avoiding Trouble
Step 1. Learn about company policies regarding in-office romance
Before determining if he has a crush on you, you need to know what company policies are regarding workplace romance. This is important even if you don't want a romantic relationship, because even rumors about two people being in a relationship can create problems.
- Check the employee manual, if you have one, for policies on workplace relationships.
- Talk to a personnel representative, if you can't find the information anywhere.
- Tell your boss that you are officially dating.
Step 2. Avoid anything that constitutes sexual harassment
When trying to find out if a coworker has a crush on you, it's important to make sure that you avoid any chat or activity that constitutes sexual harassment. This is difficult, because each person may be sensitive to this topic and may perceive what you might think of a rude response as something much more than that.
- Never make open sexual or romantic statements to anyone you have an official relationship with.
- Don't touch another employee's body unless you're asked to, and never do it sexually or romantically at work even if you're in an official relationship.
- If you think someone has a crush on you, and you're not comfortable telling them you're not interested, consider contacting personnel.
- If someone makes an unwelcome approach even though you've signaled that person to stop, contact management or personnel immediately.
Step 3. Don't assume
Perhaps the most important thing to do when trying to determine if he has a crush on you is to avoid making assumptions. Assuming, you will jump to conclusions about something without knowing it well. When you do this, you may be doing or saying something that could get you into trouble or hurt the other person's feelings.
- Make sure you are always properly informed when deciding what to do.
- Don't treat someone differently just because you think they have a crush on you.
- Don't expect a date, sex, or anything like that from someone you think has a crush on you.
