Youth romance. If you want to learn to master the dating world in middle school, you can learn some tricks and tips to make the dating process as smooth as possible. You can learn the right way to ask out and how to spend time together when you don't have a car or an income.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Asking Someone On a Date
Step 1. Date someone if you really want to date
In middle school, you usually rush to judge your feelings. Your hormones are going crazy and you will most likely start glancing at the opposite sex, or maybe the same sex, for the first time. However, dating in middle school should not be a priority. Focus on things like friendships, school, and developing your unique personality instead of focusing on finding someone to fall in love with.
- If you want to date, talk to your parents about this and ask them for advice. Make sure you are allowed to date before you start approaching someone.
- If you don't want to date, that's fine. Most high school relationships blossom online and in the imagination, which means you don't have to think about what other people think. Don't date if you don't want to.
Step 2. Find someone you like
Who are you assessing? Who looks good to hang out with, more than a regular friend? Who intrigued you? Try to find someone you think would make a great boyfriend, someone you can hang out with. Someone you want to kiss.
- Make sure the person doesn't have a boyfriend yet, and isn't around anyone. It can be very awkward if you ask someone who already has a boyfriend on a date.
- Make sure you've chatted with the person before, so asking them out won't feel too awkward and your relationship will work better because you already know the person.
Step 3. Wait until there is a good reason to ask him
While it's okay if you want to ask him something simple, like, "Would you like to hang out with me?", sometimes it's better if you have an excuse, so you can have a reason to talk to him.
- Is there a dance event? Asking someone out for a dance is one of the most common ways to ask someone out. If things go well, you can sometimes date afterward. If not, you can still have fun.
- How about going to a sports festival at school? Or any other sporting event? Ask if the two of you can go together.
- Maybe you can watch a movie that's coming out soon and that everyone's talking about. Invite someone to go to the movies with you.
Step 4. Make sure you look cool
If you want to show off, you can make sure to look cool. Make sure your clothes are clean and tidy, so you can look cool and feel confident about asking someone out.
Take a shower in the morning and get your hair done, paying attention to your appearance a little more than usual. You don't have to look like a movie star, so don't overdo it, but take the time to look your best
Step 5. Wait until you have some alone time
Try to find time to be alone with him when asking him out. Sometimes, breaks between classes can be a good opportunity to do this, or after school is over. If you can't find alone time with the person, just say, "Hey, can I have a little chat with you?"
- Try to do it in person if you can, rather than doing it over the phone. For most people, asking someone out via text or chat is a bad idea, but it can work for others too. It's okay if you often chat with the person and ask him out via chat.
- There will be times when your invitation is rejected. If this rejection happened in front of a number of people, the situation would be worse than if it happened in public.
Step 6. Introduce yourself, if necessary
If you're attracted to someone who doesn't know you, they'll usually refuse if you go up to them and ask them out. Instead, introduce yourself briefly and let him know your relationship with him.
"Hi, I_. We're in history class. I want to take you…”
Step 7. Just invite
When the opportunity arises, don't beat around the bush and take it. You don't have to think much or try to look cool. Be nice, compliment him, and explain what you mean. Don't beat around the bush.
- Say: “I've been flirting with you for a long time, and you look so cute and cool. I really like you. Would you like to go to the dance with me?”
- Don't wait to be invited or assume that someone is going to ask you out, whether you're a boy or a girl. It's okay for girls to ask their boy friends in middle school or at any age on a date.
Step 8. Make sure your parents both agree
Since you're a minor, it's very important to get your parents' permission for things like dating, as well as the parents of someone you're dating. Ask permission and follow their wishes.
- This is especially important if you are going to ask someone out on a public date. Your parents both have to agree, especially if you're going to be escorted by that person.
- You can always spend time at school with someone, regardless of how your parents feel. Of course it would be better if you asked permission, but Romeo and Juliet are also still in middle school.
Part 2 of 3: Spending Time Together
Step 1. Date over the phone or Skype
Talking to your boyfriend can be just as fun and important for a new middle schooler as going for a walk. Make a date on Skype or another chat service, or talk on the phone.
Arrange for something the two of you can do, even if you're not together. If you both like the same TV show, watch it at the same time and chat on the phone. Or, keep the Skype window open while the two of you do your homework together
Step 2. Send SMS to each other
Make sure you are allowed to text each other with your boyfriend, then exchange numbers and start texting. You can chat and laugh together, even if you're not actually together.
- Try to be a nice person to chat with and provide topics for your boyfriend to reply to. Don't just write "hey". Ask something, make observations, and create topics to talk about. Don't reply with just one word when chatting with your boyfriend. If you can't chat, just say so.
- For some great articles on texting your boyfriend or crush, click here or here.
Step 3. Validate your status on Facebook, if you wish
Many middle school love stories start on Facebook. If you are dating someone, you should discuss whether the two of you will go public with this romance, or want to have a private relationship with your boyfriend, and respect his decision. Remember: many people can see your status.
- If you decide to display your relationship status, change your Facebook status to “in a relationship” with your boyfriend.
- It's important to reduce intimacy in the digital world. It's okay for both of you to send kissing emoticons to each other, but not more than once every few days.
Step 4. Be yourself in front of your boyfriend
The only way to act when you're with your boyfriend, when you're talking to him, and when you're thinking about what to say is to be natural. Be yourself. Joke, make jokes, don't try to be someone else.
- Give sincere praise, when he deserves to be praised. “I think you look cool today” will always be worth it if you mean it.
- Show the same attitude in front of your boyfriend as in front of your friends, and your boyfriend should be like your own best friend, unless you look boring when you are with your friends. The point is, if the two of you aren't friends, you shouldn't be dating.
Step 5. Don't rush
In middle school, you are still growing and maturing, and some people will grow and mature faster than others. You may feel conflicting emotions in your body rushing you and your hormones going wild. It happened because it had to be. It's important to take a step back, calm down, and let things slow down. You have plenty of time to date.
- Sometimes, it's okay to try to kiss him when the time is right, but only if you both feel comfortable. Be open and honest with your boyfriend.
- Sometimes, a middle school romance looks sad when it's over. Try to be calm. You will look back on these times in the next two or three years and laugh at them.
Step 6. Give your boyfriend some space
If you had a crush on someone in middle school, that's great. But that doesn't mean you're married to him. Whoever your boyfriend talks to on Facebook or who he sits with at lunch shouldn't be the source of your obsession. You and your boyfriend are just two people who like to spend time together. Point.
- Don't feel hopeless and spoiled when you're dating someone. Don't text or message on Facebook saying “Where are you????”
- Spend time with your friends alone, so you can have time to separate and do the things you love to do alone. There will be times for dating.
Step 7. Make an effort to date in real life
Most middle school love stories don't last long, and most of these love stories come from the internet and schools. It is okay. It's hard to do many things if you don't have money and a car. However, if you really like spending time with someone, make an effort to spend time together in real life, not just posting something on each other's “walls.”
Part 3 of 3: Dating
Step 1. Go to the dance
One of the best and easiest ways to date at school is to dance together. Dance parties provide an excuse to invite you to do something fun together. Most middle school dances are held after school, which means you don't have to be accompanied by your parents.
- If you're afraid to dance, practice. Turn on some music in your room, or on headphones, and practice your moves before dancing with him. You don't have to be a good dancer, but you don't have to be silly.
- If your school doesn't host a lot of dance parties, you can go to school events together, especially soccer or basketball games. Go to an extracurricular club or to a school play show together as a couple.
Step 2. Go to the movies
Ask your boyfriend if he'd like to see a new movie, maybe when it's just coming out to make it seem like something you shouldn't give up. You can even buy tickets in advance, and maybe plan to eat, or have ice cream after the movie, if that's allowed.
- Going to the movies can be a good way to make a date feel less awkward. You don't need to talk much, so watching a movie at the cinema can be a great option if you're feeling nervous.
- If you have an older brother, ask him to take you to a date instead of asking your parents. Brother is much cooler than parents.
Step 3. Sit down together at lunch
Even though it doesn't look like a date, one of the easiest ways to chat with your boyfriend in middle school is to spend time together over lunch. Find a quiet table to sit down with, or sit with your friends and let everyone see the romance between the two of you. Both are equally fun.
Offer to do little things for your boyfriend, like help him take out the trash, or pull up his chair. This may seem old fashioned, or as your parents used to do, but it's a great way to make someone feel special
Step 4. See if the two of you can walk home together
If you don't see each other often at school, spend time together after school by going home together, if you can. This is a great way to get some alone time and chat without having a lot of people around you.
- Make sure your parents know that you're going home with them, and only do it if you usually go home on foot. If your parents know you're with them, you can relax for a bit. Walk slowly.
- You can also walk to other places, if possible and allowed. Head to the mall, or to another store for an after-school stroll. You can also plan your next trip after school, maybe to a park near the school.
Step 5. Ask your parents if your boyfriend can come over to your house
Take your girlfriend out to dinner or visit and watch a movie at your house. This can be a great way to introduce your boyfriend to your parents and let your boyfriend meet your family. This is a big step in a relationship!
You should talk to your parents about this, as they may not want you two to stay in a room alone, but they will probably let you chat in the living room
Tips
- Be calm.
- Be a good friend, not a jerk.
- Don't try too hard.
- Don't lie and cheat.
- Don't be too controlling.
- Be careful.
- Let things go slowly.
- Follow your parents when dating, make sure you are allowed to date.
- Don't be afraid to talk to your partner.
- If you're feeling scared or uncomfortable in a relationship, let him know. If you don't feel safe telling them, reach out to an adult and explain the problem. Communication is key.
- Try to give your boyfriend the space he needs. If he broke up with you for no apparent reason, ask for an explanation as this could be bothering you for years just because of that small factor.
