Who likes being punished? You will also be annoyed if you feel that your freedom to have fun is forcibly taken away, right? However, no matter how intense the emotions are, learn to stay calm and accept the situation because that way, you might be able to end the punishment! To remedy the situation, try to communicate your desire to end your sentence to your parents honestly and openly. Only then will your parents see your remorse and willingness to take responsibility for your mistakes. As a result, in the near future you can return to having fun!
Step
Part 1 of 3: Accepting the Situation
Step 1. Stay calm and in control
Losing control while being punished is easy. However, such behavior will only make the situation worse! Therefore, try to take the first step to free yourself from punishment by taking deep breaths and calming yourself down.
If you have gone through the phase of a big fight with your parents, now is the time to calm down and get back in control of your emotions before moving on to the next stage
Tips:
Sit in your room and relax alone to cool off. If you want, you can take a short nap, read a book, or just sit and focus your mind on your breathing pattern to control the emotions that arise.
Step 2. Admit your mistakes
Accepting guilt is the next step that must be taken to free you from punishment. Therefore, admit your mistakes to yourself and to your parents, so that you can immediately move on with your life and learn valuable lessons from those mistakes.
Even if the current situation feels unfair, understand that in your parents' eyes, your behavior is intolerable. That's why, insisting that you are right will not get you off the hook
Step 3. Understand that every mistake will come with consequences
Remember, there will always be consequences for every disobedience and lying, no matter how old you are. Also understand that the system of consequences is natural and intended to transform you into a more mature individual.
No matter how severe the consequences, know that your parents are only doing their job to make you a responsible and reliable adult
Step 4. Determine the behavior that must be changed to avoid punishment in the future
First, think about the event or behavior that got you punished. After that, find a way to prevent it from happening again in the future! In particular, identify attitudes and behaviors that need to be changed to prevent you from being punished in the future.
- For example, if you've been penalized for getting poor academic grades, try to find ways to improve your performance in school.
- If you're being punished for fighting at school, try to improve the way you confront other people.
Part 2 of 3: Communicating with Parents
Step 1. Apologize to your parents
A sincere apology is the first thing you should say after you've managed to calm yourself down and understand your mistake. Apologizing shows that you realize your mistake. In addition, it also shows your readiness to regain your parents' trust and the freedom you lost when you were punished.
- Don't say sorry just because you think your parents want to hear it. In other words, make sure your apology is genuine and don't forget to admit your mistake.
- Try saying, “I know I was wrong. I'm sorry. I want to learn from my mistakes and improve my behavior. I hope Mom and Dad will forgive me."
Tips:
Don't expect your sentence to be lifted immediately after they hear your apology. Most likely, there are still many things you have to do to win their trust back.
Step 2. Discuss the problem maturely with your parents
Invite your parents to sit down and discuss the issues openly. Emphasize that you are willing to change your attitude and behavior, then ask what changes need to be made to improve the situation and restore their trust.
For example, you could say, “Can we sit down for a while to discuss my mistake? I know I was wrong and I want to try to change so that the same mistake doesn't happen again tomorrow."
Step 3. Explain your situation to them
Sometimes, a person's mistakes or bad behavior take root in a much bigger problem. Without trying to justify this behavior, understand that every story always has two different sides. That's why your parents need to understand the things that are going on in your life so that they can offer to help in the event of a problem that is difficult for you to deal with alone.
- For example, if you are getting poor academic grades due to difficulty understanding material or having a poor relationship with your teacher, your parents should know so they can help find relevant and helpful help.
- If you're having trouble controlling your emotions because you're being bullied, you should tell your parents about the situation so they can prevent the problem from getting worse.
- Start by saying, "I want to tell Mom and Dad my problem."
Step 4. Make a plan with your parents to improve your behavior
Discuss the specific behavior for which you were punished and which must be changed in order for your parents to be willing to end the sentence. As much as possible, make sure the conversation goes both ways to find a middle ground that can satisfy both parties.
- For example, if you're being punished for getting poor academic grades, try making plans to improve your grades in school, such as taking lessons. In addition, you can also arrange a neater schedule with the help of your parents so that you don't miss other academic tasks or responsibilities.
- If you're being punished for failing to control your emotions, try discussing alternative ways to express yourself when you're feeling frustrated or upset. Then, practice the method the next time you get annoyed with them again showing your changes.
Part 3 of 3: Using the Value System
Step 1. Reclaim your freedom by offering your parents a number-based scoring system
What do you mean? In particular, ask if your parents are willing to release you from punishment if you get a certain score in the form of a number. You can get this number after completing your homework, behaving well, and getting maximum academic grades.
- Most likely, your parents will agree with this idea because by implementing it, you will indirectly help ease their work at home.
- Try saying, “What do you think, Mom and Dad, how about I score a point for every positive thing I do? For example, I can get points after finishing my homework and get good grades in school. Well, those numbers can later be collected so that I will be free from punishment."
Step 2. Determine the action you need to perform along with the values
Also determine the total value you need to be free from punishment. The trick, ask your parents to compile a list of positive actions such as completing homework, getting good grades in school, and other positive things. After that, determine the number that accompanies each action and the total score you need to escape punishment.
For example, if you need 100 points to end your sentence, collect points from specific actions, such as 10 points for washing the dishes, 5 points for each school assignment successfully completed, 20 points for cleaning the bathroom, etc. until 100 points are reached
Tips:
Other ways to collect points include helping other people with their schoolwork or teaching other people academic material, taking positive actions in public (such as opening the door for someone else or helping your elderly neighbor carry their groceries), and taking someone else's dog. others take a walk.
Step 3. Create a graph to monitor your increase in numbers
Write a list of actions that need to be done with the numbers that accompany each action on a piece of paper, or type the list using a computer. Don't forget to leave a space to mark the actions you've succeeded in doing along with the numbers you got for it.
- If you want, you can divide the chart into categories, such as groups of actions taken at home; at school; outdoors, pet-related activities, etc.
- At the very top of the paper, write, "I have to get 100 points to escape punishment!"
Step 4. Record every number you managed to get in the graph
Complete all the actions that you and your parents have agreed upon until the total number of points needed to free you from punishment is reached. After that, show the graph to your parents and ask them to end your sentence!
