Whether you're starting a new relationship or are in a serious relationship, there's always a chance that your boyfriend is cheating on you. If you have reason to be suspicious of him, follow the steps below to find out if your boyfriend is loyal to you.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Paying attention to her appearance
Step 1. See if the appearance changes
Your boyfriend's appearance can say a lot about whether he's cheating on you or not. If previously he didn't care about his appearance but now suddenly changed, maybe now he is doing it for other women. Here are the signs:
- He never cared about his beard but suddenly he is diligently shaving it now.
- If he regularly cuts his hair now even though he's never trimmed it before.
- If the way of dressing suddenly became much better.
- If you see him in the mirror pay attention to his own appearance.
- He looks too tidy to go to study or work late.
- The most dangerous signal is if he has a different scent. Whether his scent changes completely from being with other women or from smelling a different perfume, this is a big sign that he's spending time with someone else.
- If there is hair loss on the body or clothes that do not belong to you.
Step 2. Watch how he treats his body
If your boyfriend suddenly becomes really concerned about his body, it's possible that he's just not doing it just for you. Here are some signs:
- If suddenly he is diligent in exercising and is very concerned about his appearance. Remember that going to the gym can be just an excuse to meet that special woman.
- If he suddenly changes his diet to be healthier. Maybe he did this for someone else.
- If he becomes embarrassed about his body when he's with you and doesn't want you to see him shirtless, or just wants to have sex in the dark. This may mean that he feels unfaithful to other women.
Step 3. Pay attention to his body language
Your boyfriend's body language can tell you a lot about how he feels about you, and if he thinks more about other people than you. Here are the signs:
- If he won't look you in the eye when he talks when he's never been like this before. It may be because he feels guilty towards you.
- If he doesn't give you affection. If suddenly this affection fades, this is a sign of danger.
- If he only shows his love for you alone and not in public. There are indeed some men who are shy. But if he seems to be keeping his distance from you in public, maybe he's afraid the other woman will catch him off guard.
Method 2 of 4: Watching What He Does
Step 1. See if anything has changed with your sex life
If he has another girlfriend, he may stop spending time with you in bed, or he may want more than usual. Here's what you should pay attention to:
- If you haven't had sex with him in a long time. It's like he doesn't want it anymore, maybe he's got it somewhere else.
- If suddenly he has excessive sexual desire. If he suddenly craves large amounts of sex, it may be because his sexual desire has gone up drastically from sleeping with other women.
- He tried many new sex styles. Maybe he learned it from another woman.
Step 2. See if he gets better and more helpful
If he's feeling guilty, it's possible that he's suddenly been very nice to you in an attempt to make amends.
- If he's cleaning your apartment, fixing your car, or shopping for you and has never done this before, there must be a specific reason for it.
- If he was always asking if there was anything he could help with.
- If he suddenly becomes very romantic to you, especially after a long time he has been cold with you.
Step 3. See if he suddenly gets cleaner
If your boyfriend has never cleaned his apartment before but is suddenly cleaning it for hours, he may be cleaning up evidence of other women in his apartment.
- If his car used to be dirty but now it's suddenly clean and tidy, maybe he's cleaning it for another woman.
- If her apartment is much cleaner than before and she keeps saying she needs time to clean it, maybe she's cleaning up another woman's evidence. If you really want to know, come over while he's "cleaning his apartment" and see what he's doing.
- If he uses air freshener in his house or car. Maybe he's trying to hide his scent from other women.
Step 4. See if his mood changes
Whether he was always in a good mood, or being more fickle than usual, then something was up. Pay attention to the things below:
- If sometimes he's really in a really good mood for no particular reason. If he didn't want to talk about the reason, maybe the reason why he was in such a happy mood was because another woman was doing it.
- If he is suddenly in a bad mood. Even though everything went as usual but he suddenly got angry and disappointed, maybe the other woman had something to do with this.
Step 5. See if he does anything suspicious
If he did this, it was possible that he was busy with another woman. Here are the signs:
- If he spends a lot of time playing with his cell phone and suddenly stops playing or hangs up as soon as you leave the room.
- If he suddenly spends a lot of time online. This could indicate that he is busy talking to other girls. If he suddenly shuts down his computer when you walk into the room, this is a bad sign.
- If suddenly he's been missing for a long time and can't pick up the phone or reply to your text messages. Maybe he's with another woman.
- If he turns off his phone after hours of calling.
Method 3 of 4: Pay Attention to What He Says
Step 1. Notice why
Before he always had time with you, but not anymore. Like a stomach ache or just plain tired, but maybe you should be suspicious if he might not want to spend time with you anymore because there is another woman in his life. Here are some signs that he might be having an affair:
- If before he had a lot of time for you but suddenly now he always goes out with his “friends”. This is especially suspicious if he doesn't have many friends and rarely hangs out with them before.
- If he suddenly often works late at the office. Although overtime is something that is sometimes natural, but if suddenly he is working overtime more often than you are with you, then you should be suspicious.
- If he's always too tired to be with you when he's never been this tired before. Perhaps this was a sign that he was wasting his energy on someone else.
- If possible you have a routine to eat together and he seems to be uninspired or not hungry.
- None of the signs above clearly state that your boyfriend is cheating on you. But if it happens again and again, then this means either he's spending quality time with other people or he just doesn't want to be with you anymore. If he's always making excuses for why he doesn't want to spend time with you, then you should ask yourself why you're still in a relationship with him.
Step 2. Pay attention to what he says
Even if he doesn't make excuses, your boyfriend might suddenly say something that makes it sound like he's not the person you know. If there's a sudden change in the way he talks, maybe he's thinking about another woman. Here are some signs:
- He stopped praising you. Does he always compliment you once and suddenly never again? If he never again tells you that you're beautiful, he may be saving those words for someone else.
- If he compliments you more often than before. Usually he doesn't compliment you very often, but suddenly he's always saying how amazing you are. Maybe he did this out of guilt. If he's doing this after a long time without seeing you and it's not clear why, then you should be suspicious.
- If he sounds different. If he starts saying things he's never said before, uses words he's never used before, or laughs in new ways, then maybe he's getting these new words from another special woman.
- If he doesn't reply to your text messages for hours in a conversation. If he suddenly disappears from your conversation, it's possible that his special woman has just appeared.
Method 4 of 4: Investigate
Step 1. Ask him if he's cheating
If the signs are too obvious and you've discovered that he's cheating, it's time to get him to confess. The easiest way is to talk about this. Here's how to do it:
- You should ask when he's not ready. Ask at the right place and time, at a time when he doesn't expect you to ask so he can't prepare a lie to cover it up.
- Tell him that you prefer the truth to lies. Make it sound that he did this for you.
- Say, "I think we'd all be happier if nothing was covered up." Make it sound like he'll be relieved if he stops lying to you. Maybe it will be like that, having a double life is exhausting.
- Make eye contact. Look at him very sincerely. Show him that he really hurt you.
- If you're afraid to ask questions yourself but don't want to go to extremes, try asking your friend or maybe one of their friends. Chances are, if her friend finds out about her affair, then she will feel bad about it too.
Step 2. Follow him
If you're afraid to speak up or don't have enough evidence, follow him to see what he's up to. You have to be careful with this because if caught, he will lose confidence in you and won't let any evidence show. Here's what you can do:
- Follow him in your friend's car. If he says he's going out with a friend and you really want to know what he's doing, follow him in your friend's car so he doesn't notice.
- Visit him when he least expects it. Come at a certain time, like when he says he's cleaning something for you or isn't feeling well. If she's not feeling well, bring her some soup like you're trying to be sweet. Look at his reaction, whether he is happy or angry that you came without telling him first.
- Try to check if he's really overtime. To make it really easy, try coming to his work with coffee or a snack to see if he's really there. Or just passing by his office to see if the car is there.
Step 3. Search his belongings
This is the quickest way and at the same time make your relationship more dangerous and the loss of mutual trust. But if you really believe he's cheating on you and want to find evidence, then go for it. Here's what you can do:
- Check the contents of the phone. If he's an expert, he'll make his phone invisible to others, but give it a try anyway. See when he sleeps or when he leaves it in the car.
- Check the computer. If he's really stupid enough to leave his computer on, check his email and Facebook message box. Also try to check the deleted mailbox as well.
- Look at the stuff. When he's sleeping or not at home, check his desk, bag, or even his wallet for anything suspicious.
- Check the bank's disbursement. Do you remember he once spent Rp. 2 million for a romantic dinner at an Italian restaurant? If not, maybe he's doing it with another woman.
Step 4. Consider enlisting the help of a private investigator
Sometimes, you can't be 100% sure that your boyfriend is cheating on you, or you just can't find enough evidence. If so, the services of a private investigator may be able to help you determine if your boyfriend is having an affair.
The costs required to use the services of a private investigator may be expensive. Make sure you can afford to spend that much beforehand
Tips
- If you find out that your boyfriend is cheating on you, leave him. There are many other men out there.
- If he makes lots of excuses not to spend time with you but tries really hard to get away with what he calls friends, then this is a sign he doesn't want to be with you anymore.
- If your boyfriend starts behaving differently from the way he talks to him or the way he acts when you're not around, this could be a sign.
- You can tell your boyfriend is cheating on you when he doesn't have the time to do it like he has a lot of plans without you.
- If he's talking to other women more often when you're not around, this is a sign he's having an affair too.
- He will make lots of excuses to make you feel guilty and to justify cheating.
- There's nothing you can do to fix it. Sometimes, there's nothing else to do but stay away.
- He doesn't want you to see his co-workers, see his email or phone.
- Don't suddenly ask, "Hey, there's no way you're cheating, can you?" He will say no directly and start thinking that you don't believe him.
- If he can't see your face when you talk, he's probably cheating on you.
- If he is always busy on the phone, this is also a sign that he is cheating on you.
- If your boyfriend comes home very late after being missing for a long time. It's a sign he's having an affair too.
- Talk to your friends who have found their boyfriend cheating on you and ask for their opinion and advice.
- If your boyfriend is behaving really well with you, that's also a sign.
