If you want to cook up some fake vomit to pretend you're sick, you can learn to choose the right ingredients to make it look right. Learn some recipes for fake vomit that looks dirty and how to convince others that you are really sick.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Making Fake Vomit
Step 1. Use the leftovers for dinner
After dinner, take some leftovers from dinner and chew your food about 20 times and remove it in a Ziplock plastic. Make sure you have plenty of leftovers, but not so much that it's obvious that all the leftovers are gone.
- Use water to help soften the food and make it look more like vomit. Other additions that can make fake vomit look gross include Thousand Island salad dressing, Vaseline, and milk.
- Alternatively, you can use breakfast cereal or whatever you plan to eat for breakfast. You can make it a more convincing show.
Step 2. Mix orange juice, milk and biscuits
Perhaps the most appropriate looking fake concoction that you can easily and quickly make is to quickly mix three simple elements into a Ziplock plastic. Mix equal parts of orange juice, and milk and then chew a handful of plain saltine crackers and spit into the liquid. Massage the mixture to fully mix and make it look dirty.
Step 3. Use canned soup
If you don't have any leftovers to use in making a fake vomit recipe, start looking in your cupboard for soup cans that can be used to make your concoction. Good candidates include potato chowder, beef stew, pea soup, or any other soup solid enough to look like it's been swallowed.
As with leftovers, try softening the soup with a little water or milk. You may not need to use the entire contents of the can of soup, maybe less than half a can. Store the vomit in a plastic bag or jar and hide it in your room
Step 4. Use oatmeal and food coloring
Take an empty bottle and fill it with water, then add a few drops of different food coloring to make it dirty, brown, dark in color to the mixture. Add a pinch of chewed food scraps to the mixture for added texture and grit.
Most of the constituents of the mixture should be water. If you add too much oatmeal, the mixture will look like oatmeal. If your parents take a close look and know that you haven't had oatmeal in a while, then they will know it
Step 5. Make stale milk vomit
If you really want to make really gross fake vomit, you can plan ahead. Pour the milk into a glass and hide it in the room, preferably in the far corner of the bed so you don't smell it. Wait a few days for the milk to go stale, become solid and dirty. It usually takes between three and five days. Chocolate and strawberries look the best.
Before the milk goes stale, you may want to add a little bit of chewed food and other stuff so you don't have to add more later. You will want to be around him as little as possible
Part 2 of 2: Pretending to be Sick
Step 1. Hide the vomit in your room until there are no obstacles
Store fake vomit in a plastic bag or jar and hide it somewhere in your room. Make sure the vomit is safe in a container, because you don't want to spill it somewhere and get a nasty mess on your hands.
If vomit is found before you're ready to open it in the toilet, pretend it's a science assignment, or an "experiment."
Step 2. Pretend to be sick first thing in the morning
As soon as you wake up, start complaining that you feel sick. Don't eat breakfast, or try to chew food with a bad look on your face, as if you can't imagine eating something. Start pretending you don't feel well. Make sure your parents know you're "not feeling well."
The morning is the best time to pretend. If you vomit, you won't be sent to school in the morning. If you pretend it's too early, like the night before or in the middle of the night, chances are you'll be caught
Step 3. Take your fake vomit into the bathroom
When the opportunity arises, go to the bathroom with your fake vomit in a plastic bag. Make sure you lock the door so you don't get caught carrying a bag filled with fake vomit.
If the vomit has dried, shake it with a little water to make it moist again. Now kneel in front of the toilet and start moaning
Step 4. Create a scene to get your attention
When you get into the bathroom, start moaning and making a gag sound. As soon as you make a sound, quickly pour the vomit down the toilet as if you had vomited. Discard the container as soon as possible. Turn slightly away from the closet, groan and breathe slowly as if you just got sick.
Don't throw your fake vomit on the floor. If you think you might get in trouble if you pretend to be sick, imagine how much trouble it would be if you pretended to be sick and got your parents to clean stale milk and soup off the carpet
Step 5. Brush your teeth immediately after faking vomiting
There's a good chance that you'll be caught right after throwing up fake vomit if it looks like you haven't vomited. After throwing it away, brush your teeth, which is a normal thing to do after throwing up. Open the door and let the parents see the vomit in the toilet before you flush it.
Step 6. Continue pretending
For the most part, you don't need to do much more once your parents see their toilet full of disgusting ones. You will be able to stay at home instead of school on that day. But that doesn't mean you can suddenly turn around and start doing somersaults. Act like you are super tired and exhausted, head to bed, and relax throughout your day off.
If your parents call you from work, make a groaning, tired voice. Say that you still feel bad but not as bad as in the morning
Step 7. Don't overdo it
The advice for vomiting is not to overdo it. If you want to stay home instead of school, you might even be able to get it by simply saying you're throwing up and don't want to unnecessarily show it to anyone. Don't think too much. You don't have to prove you're sick by taking the disgusting soup and milk mixture in your mouth to the brim and pretending to throw up on the floor.
If you want to pretend to vomit in front of someone for pleasure, do so in one quick motion (like a muscle spasm), leaning forward. Puff out your cheeks as if you are going to throw up. Repeat about 3 times, and pretend to swallow. Do this several times, more dramatically each time. Finally after two more retchings, spit out the mixture
Tips
- Tell your parents (or anyone else) if you feel unwell from the night before your “big scene.”
- It helps if you lie on your back while on the phone or stretch the tip of your head. This will make a sound like your nose is blocked.
- Try not to keep saying 'I feel sick' or it will take away the meaning.
- Try not to overdo it when you moan and make loud noises.
Warning
- Make sure you don't have trouble sleeping with the smell of half-eaten food in your room.
- Be aware you may be missing something important at school and may need to get notes from friends or other students.
