Do you always have trouble asking your parents for permission to travel? If just going to a cafe near your house is not allowed, then what if you have to attend an event that takes place quite late? Do not worry. As far as you can come up with a clear and well-founded argument, chances are you're one step closer to convincing them. Also, make sure you always convey everything calmly, politely, and maturely. Sit down with them, have a discussion with them, and be prepared to be surprised at the results!
Step
Part 1 of 3: Asking Parental Permission
Step 1. Determine the right time
The right timing is an important key to asking permission; make sure you really make careful planning! For example, ask permission when your parents are relaxed and looking happy.
- Don't ask permission if they're not in a good mood. Wait until their mood improves!
- Don't ask permission if they seem busy or in a hurry. Wait until they can give you their full attention.
Step 2. Anticipate their worries
If you're worried that your parents won't give you permission for security reasons, reassure them that the event will take place safely. For example, explain that the event will also be attended by other parents or adult supervisors. Also explain who will be going with you, how long the event will last, and any important information that can calm them down.
- Tell everything honestly. If the event won't be attended by other parents or an adult supervisor, don't lie.
- If they're worried that you're coming home too late and have to stay up late because of it, make it clear that you'll "pay for it" by going to bed early the next day.
Step 3. Prepare written information
Make it easier for your parents to understand your activities. If you have an event flyer, give them a copy. If you have the event supervisor's cell phone number, include it in the flyer as well.
- If you want, you can also write down the names and cellphone numbers of other event participants.
- Paste the information on the refrigerator door so that your parents can easily access it.
Step 4. Ask permission politely and respectfully
Even though your parents are responsible for your happiness, that doesn't mean they always have to give you permission. If you want to get their permission, show that you appreciate everything they have done for you.
- Don't just say, "Can I go to this show?"
- Try saying, “I understand why Mom and Dad never let me come home late on a school day. But I would be very grateful if Mom and Dad would let me just this once.”
Step 5. Offer a return to your parents
You feel you have no bargaining power in this situation? Fortunately, you are wrong. You can always offer something your parents want like help with housework or a promise to improve at school.
- Make a specific offer. For example, you could say, "If Mom and Dad let me go, I promise I'll do my own laundry this week."
- If you promise to do something, make sure you keep it. Instead, your parents will remember it when you ask their permission later on.
Step 6. Offer to pay
If the event you're attending costs money, offer to pay for it yourself. Make your parents understand how important this event is to you. If you can't afford it all yourself, at least offer to contribute as much as you can.
- Your parents will be impressed and more than likely, they will even offer to cover all the expenses you need.
- If the event you are participating in does not cost money, offer to donate gas money (if they take you by private vehicle to the event location). Trust me, they will really appreciate it.
Step 7. Point out that they don't have to answer right away
Don't make your parents feel like they have to give you an answer right away, because chances are, they'll just refuse to give you permission. Give them a day or two to think about the best decision.
- Make sure you ask their permission at least a week in advance. If it's less than a week, it's feared that your parents will feel rushed.
- Don't ask permission ahead of time. Be careful, your parents can always change their mind afterwards.
Step 8. Remember, the word “no” is not necessarily an inviolable refusal
If your parents refuse to give permission, don't give up right away. Ask why, then think of ways to change the word “no” to “yes”. Your parents will definitely be impressed if you try to change things they can't accept, and they're likely to change their mind after that.
- If your parents don't give a clear reason for the refusal, keep trying to dig deeper. Remember, you can't change something you don't know.
- If your parents still refuse to give permission, accept their decision. If you exaggerate the situation, they are more likely to be less likely to give permission next time.
Part 2 of 3: Earning Parents' Trust
Step 1. Show your best behavior
Could it be that your parents are willing to give you permission if your behavior is always negative in front of them? Show that you deserve their trust by acting as mature as possible.
- Be as polite as possible and help them if needed; they will see your efforts and will most likely reward you with greater freedom.
- The longer you are able to maintain your positive attitude, the more likely your parents will view you as mature and reliable.
Step 2. Make sure your phone is always fully charged
If you have a cell phone, don't let it run out of power. Always hold your phone and make sure the battery is fully charged; surely your parents will see that you are a responsible child because you are easy to contact whenever needed.
- Always pick up the phone from your parents. Show that they can always reach you easily; surely in the future, they will more easily give you freedom.
- The same rules apply to text messages. As much as possible, reply to their text messages as soon as you read them.
Step 3. Start by asking permission for small things
If you've never been home late or been away from home for too long, it's natural for your parents to find it difficult to give permission. Therefore, start by asking permission for small things, like staying at a neighbor's house. Once your parents feel more comfortable and used to the situation, they are more likely to give permission for big things later.
- If you have a curfew, try to always fulfill it. Show your parents that you can take responsibility.
- If your parents ask you to keep them informed, make sure you always do. The greater their trust, the better the impact on you.
Part 3 of 3: Behaving Positively After Getting Permission
Step 1. Thank your parents
If they give you permission to come home late, show that you value their trust. Thank them after they give you permission, and thank them again after the event you're participating in is over. Remember, they are under no obligation to give permission; but they did it anyway, didn't they? Don't make them regret the decision!
- Want to go the extra mile to show your gratitude? There is nothing wrong with giving them a simple greeting card or gift.
- If the event you are participating in takes place at a friend's house, you can also send a thank you card to the owner of the house.
Step 2. Keep your word
If you promise to call your parents at a certain time, do so. If you promise to be home before 11pm, do it. Prove your promise through real action!
- Talk to your parents right before you leave. Ask again what their rules and expectations are, then write them down on a piece of paper so you don't forget them.
- If you are able to fulfill your promise and their every expectation, in the future it will be easier for them to give similar permission.
Step 3. Calm your parents down
If your parents are very rigid, conventional, or panicky, don't give them reason to worry about you. Be careful what you post on social media, and make sure your parents don't see anything that might raise their concerns.
- If you're used to doing online searches, don't forget to clear the browser history on your laptop or phone.
- If you have a Facebook account, change the settings so that your account doesn't automatically receive posts.
- That way, your friends won't be able to send you things that risk getting you into trouble.
- If you feel you need to hide something, choose a place that is less risky for your parents to explore (like the attic or warehouse).
Tips
- Show that you are able to deal with everything maturely; your parents will treat you like an adult.
- Prove your words with actions. Take every opportunity you get to show that you are a responsible child.
