If you have a younger brother, there's a good chance you've had a fight with him. Quarrels between brothers and sisters are often called sibling rivalry. Troubleshooting with younger siblings is often exhausting and upsetting. It's natural for siblings to fight, but it's important for you to know how to work things out for yourself. With patience, you can build a peaceful friendship with your younger brother.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Calming Yourself
Step 1. Take a deep breath
Take some time to breathe so you can think about the problem at hand with your brain, and not with your emotions.
- One of the breathing exercises that are suitable for calming yourself is the "Four Square" method. Inhale, hold, exhale, and rest, each for a count of four. After that, breathe normally twice.. Repeat this method as many times as needed until you feel calm.
- If your emotions are running high, there's a good chance you'll only make things worse.
Step 2. Give yourself space
If necessary, seek privacy and stay away from your sibling. Go to another room to think about the problem at hand..
Enjoy the fresh air. Being outdoors and surrounded by nature is a great way to cool off. Ask your parents for permission and go for a walk around the living area or in the backyard
Step 3. Divert your attention
Set aside 20 minutes to do something you enjoy. Listen to your favorite song or read a book chapter. If you can distract yourself for a moment from the problem, you can think about the problem more clearly.
Step 4. Write down your feelings
Take a notebook and write down the problems that occur for 20 minutes. Let out all your stress and annoyance. This way, you can think more clearly and move towards the positive side more quickly.
Step 5. Put yourself in your sister's shoes
Usually, children start fights with siblings out of fear or jealousy.. Often times, they're just looking for attention, too. Try to be sympathetic to him and think about what made him act the way he did.
Understand the root cause of the problem so you can see the situation more clearly. Your sibling may not intentionally want to upset you or hurt you. Children don't understand how to handle their feelings, so they often throw tantrums
Method 2 of 4: Communicating with Brother
Step 1. Start a chat with him
The best way to resolve an argument is to communicate openly.
- Find a quiet place and invite him to talk about the situation.
- Start the conversation with a positive attitude. If you're still on the defensive or feeling angry, he can figure it out.
Step 2. Tell him how you feel
If you feel annoyed with his attitude, just tell him. He may not understand the consequences of his actions. Be honest about your feelings.
One great way to share your feelings is through the "Me-Message Core" method.. Use sentences with the pattern: "I feel_ when you _because of _." With a sentence pattern like this, your sister will not feel "attacked"
Step 3. Know when you need to apologize
Maybe you feel that you haven't done anything wrong. However, children often have feelings of sensitivity and helplessness. Show that you understand his position and are willing to fix the problem by apologizing.
Sometimes, you do need to sacrifice your prestige to solve problems, especially with someone younger than you
Step 4. Listen to what he has to say
Children often feel unheard in the family. Show that you care and understand them by being a good listener.
Method 3 of 4: Strengthening Relationships with Your Sibling
Step 1. Show your love
Even if you fight with him, in the end he is still your family. If he feels loved and cared for, there's a good chance he won't start a problem with you. Show your love through words and actions.
Step 2. Give him credit for his accomplishments
When he does well in school or helps you, give him credit. Thus, a sense of mutual support will be built between the two of you.
Step 3. Plan activities with him
Spend some time together to strengthen the relationship and make him feel that he is getting the attention he deserves.
- Schedule playtime with your sibling. This moment can be a great time to show that he is loved and supported. It can also give you privacy when you need it if you can afford to spend some time playing with it.
- Help him with homework or other projects. Your sibling may reflect on you so that by helping her, you can show that you are willing to give her your presence.
Step 4. Be an example
You are an important role model for him. He makes choices about how he acts based on what he sees in you.
If you scold him a lot or be aggressive, he will treat you the same way. If you are patient and kind to him, he will learn to be patient and friendly with you
Method 4 of 4: Seeking Freedom from Brother
Step 1. Ask him to give you some space and time to be alone
Having a good relationship with him is important, but you also need time for yourself. Tell him nicely that every day, you need time to be alone.
When asking for space or time to be alone, use a warm tone of voice and language. It may be difficult for him to understand that you still love him, even though you want space and time to yourself
Step 2. Talk to your parents when you need some alone time
Your parents may not understand that you are an adult and need more privacy. Talk to him about your needs. You can find a way to distance yourself while avoiding conflict with your sister.
Step 3. Find a way to get you out of the house
Physical distance will make you more independent and more appreciative of your sibling's presence at home.
- Find and live activities after school hours are over. Your local school or community center may have or host art classes, sports teams, or drama projects. Ask your teacher or parents about activities you can do outside after school.
- If you share the same room as your sister, make a special room for you at home. You can do your homework in the kitchen or on the couch. You may not have your own room, but having a dedicated space for you to work and read can make you feel more independent at home.
- City/regional libraries are fun and safe places to spend time outside the family. Ask your parents for permission to spend time in the library after school or on weekends.
Tips
- Involve your parents if necessary. If the fight gets out of hand and you can't handle the situation, find an adult who is responsible and can help.
- Your brother is your best friend in the future. Even though the current relationship seems difficult to live with, the relationship will change as you mature. Many people feel that their problems with their siblings disappear over time.
- Be patient. Remember that he is younger than you and doesn't yet know how to express his feelings or handle his emotions. You've been at his age and probably feel just as helpless. Try to sympathize with his current condition.
- Pretend that you don't care when he starts to annoy you.
- Revenge is evil (and discouraged). Holding on to anger and seeking revenge is not healthy. Both can destroy the mental peace of you and your sister. Maybe he made you feel annoyed because he was bored or tortured himself. Therefore, take a more warm and friendly approach.
Warning
- If you feel insecure or your sibling physically hurts you, tell your parents or another adult immediately.
- Don't use violence against it. Besides being dangerous, violence will only make the situation worse.
- Never yell at him or curse at him because the fight will only continue.
