Like it or not, your life will surely be colored by people who don't know good manners; whether it's the moms who jump in line at the supermarket, coworkers who constantly look down on your work, or classmates who always take your lunch. Dealing with people like this does require a specific strategy. For example, if the person has to interact with you on a daily basis, it's a good idea to attempt a direct confrontation. But if the person is a stranger to you, you shouldn't waste your energy responding to them.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Confronting Him
Step 1. Stay calm
Trust me, confrontational attempts tinged with anger and aggressiveness will not work.
- If you are fed up with negative comments the person makes, make sure you take a deep breath before approaching them. The more out of control you seem, the less likely you are to hear what you have to say.
- Think before you act and speak. Don't act impulsively and take some time to think about your words first. If you don't seem swayed by the negative comments, they're more likely to stay silent. Show your maturity by being confident and able to control your emotions well.
- Don't get into a physical argument or fight with him. Trust me, such a response will only make an already bad situation worse. If you're worried about getting out of control, make sure you get someone to accompany you and help you control yourself.
Step 2. Be straightforward
Don't make small talk or show a passive-aggressive attitude. Approach him, look him in the eye, and immediately convey the action or word he said that irritated you. Remember, he will not be able to reflect on his mistakes if he does not know what was wrong.
If someone is running in line at the supermarket, don't make a dramatic response like rolling your eyes or sighing out loud. Trust me, chances are he won't notice. Instead, address your complaint directly by saying, “Sorry, I think you broke through my line,” or “Sorry, the queue starts from there.”
Step 3. Use humor
If you don't want to take it too seriously, try using humor to ease the tension.
- If someone chews their food without covering their mouth or eats messyly next to you, laugh and tell them, “Wow, that's really good food, isn't it?”. If he still doesn't get what you mean, say again, "Could you eat it more casually?".
- Make sure your jokes are lighthearted, not sarcastic or passive-aggressive. Smile and keep a friendly attitude. Remember, make sure you're giving a joke that both parties can laugh at, not a cheeky joke that will provoke an argument.
Step 4. Be polite
Modesty is a powerful weapon against someone's impertinence. Therefore, be a better person than him; don't lower yourself by being equally insolent.
- Smile and keep your tone polite.
- Say 'please' and 'thank you'. Anyone can say it; but when spoken sincerely, they can have a very positive impact! For example, try saying, “Please stop, I think your behavior is very rude and out of line,” or “[Aggressive, rude, hurtful, etc.] comments are not needed here. Thank you.".
- Oftentimes, people are rude because they are annoyed by something. For example, they may need a friend to talk to or a listener who can empathize with their stories. If you know the person well, try asking if something is bothering them or if they need your help. Make sure you ask it sincerely, not sarcastically. For example, try saying, “You seem to be looking more [stressed, tense, stiff, etc.] lately. Is everything okay? Is there anything I can help you with?”
Step 5. Have a dignified conversation
If he taunts or hurts you personally, make your complaint straightforward or ask the reason behind his behavior.
- Try to understand his perspective by saying, “I think what you're saying is very rude and disrespectful. What do you say?" These questions can provoke debate or healthy discussion. Whatever the outcome, make sure you keep trying to properly control the situation.
- If the situation turns into an argument, and if he continues to be rude afterward, walk away. Understand that you are doing your best and go from there.
- Remember, some people are so stubborn that they tend to be reluctant to change their opinion. Understand that you may not always agree with him; sometimes, he still won't change his mindset even if you try to influence him.
Step 6. Use "I" instead of "you"
Be careful, saying "you" does seem to blame other people so that it has the potential to make him defensive. Instead, try to explain how you feel about his actions or words.
If a relative constantly comments on your weight, try saying, "Your comments make me feel insecure and insecure," instead of "Your comments are so annoying and rude."
Step 7. Have a private talk
Remember, no one wants to be blamed in front of others. If someone is being rude to you, try talking to them alone instead of confronting them in front of your friends.
- If a friend of yours makes a racist or gender-biased comment while you're having lunch together, wait until the rest of your friends have left or pull him out of the crowd so you can discuss his rudeness in private. You can also text him or her and say, “Hey, I have something to tell you. Do you have time after school?”
- By talking to him privately, you can also prevent your other friends from showing their side (which will likely only make the situation worse and potentially break up the friendship).
Step 8. Don't sweat the situation too much
If the situation doesn't improve after you attempt a confrontation, accept the fact that you are doing your best to improve the relationship with him.
Remember, you can't force other people to be polite. After all, it's also not your responsibility to "fix it". In fact, trying too hard to change someone's behavior runs the risk of worsening their behavior later on. Sometimes all you need to do is accept his impertinence; Realize that it's not your fault and let him figure it out on his own
Method 2 of 2: Ignore it
Step 1. Install a “flat” face
Don't show any emotion. Even if you feel very angry or annoyed, don't satisfy his ego by showing that you have been influenced by his actions or words.
- Stay calm and in control. Close your eyes and take deep breaths whenever you feel like you're about to lose control.
- Put on a flat or emotionless face; ignore the person completely and show that you don't want to waste time with them.
Step 2. Don't look him in the eye
If you make eye contact with them, it's a sign that you're willing to acknowledge the person's existence and validate their actions. Take your eyes off him and try to stare at something in the distance.
Don't stare at the floor. This kind of body language shows that you are insecure and submissive to him. Keep looking straight ahead; show that you are confident and in control
Step 3. Position yourself so that you are not facing him
Trust me, you can give a lot of signals even if only through body language. Turn your shoulders away from him and direct your body to the opposite position. Also, cross your arms so that you appear to be closing in on yourself and ignoring them.
Step 4. Get out of his way
If possible, walk as fast as you can in the opposite direction of him and don't look back. Make sure you walk with confidence and confidence.
- If you feel the need to say something before you leave, keep your words as short as possible. A short, direct response will let him know that you are listening to – but not agreeing with – his words. Just respond like “Okay,” or “I don't know,” before leaving.
- If a classmate of yours is constantly showing off his higher test scores, smile and tell him, "That's great." After that, turn your attention to other more important things.
- If you have to interact regularly with him (for example, the person is your coworker or classmate), use this method: whenever he upsets you, walk away from him and give him time to calm down. Hopefully when you come back he has changed his behavior.
Step 5. Avoid the person
Try to keep your distance so that the negative aura it carries does not affect your daily life.
- If the person is not very familiar to you (or even at all), the situation is much easier; especially since you will most likely never see him again.
- If he's really annoying but you have to see him every day, try to minimize the number of times you interact with him. If you can change divisions or make any changes to avoid the person, feel free to do so. Trust me, the situation will be much better if you no longer see or interact with him.
Tips
- Accept the fact that being “insolent” is part of basic human character; in fact, you won't be able to get on well with everyone, right? Always remember that you too must have been rude to others!
- Don't take it personally. Insolence is usually rooted in personal issues or insecurities that have nothing to do with you. Even if his frustration is taken out "on" you, that doesn't mean you are the one "making him" frustrated. Don't blame yourself for the insolence of others; instead, try to be as objective as possible.
- Even if his attitude turns out to be related to you and you feel personally attacked, take a step back and realize that you have a choice not to allow him to influence you. Deal with his insolence by acting as if that is his problem, not yours. Believe in yourself and don't let his harsh words get to you.
- Remain calm when responding to his words or behavior. Make sure you reply as politely as possible; in that way, you have shown that you are much more mature and dignified than him.
- Show the opposite attitude: smile, show you care, and ask how he was that day. More than likely, the brash attitude is a 'cry for help' and your kindness is exactly what he needs at that time. Make sure you always spread a positive aura and don't waste energy on negative things.
- Make sure you only tell your closest friends and relatives. There's nothing to stop you from venting your frustrations over an upsetting situation, but make sure you don't keep drowning yourself in the situation. Your maturity will show if you are willing to forgive and move on. After all, you don't want negative gossip to spread and turn you into a brat.
- Observe how other people treat them. Chances are, you're not the only one who finds it insolent. Therefore, try to observe how other people interact with them when the behavior 'relapses', and see if their techniques work. In this way, you can be helped to respond to the person's behavior better in the future.
- Don't position yourself as an easy target or target for bullying. Also, don't respond to his actions with equally bad treatment if you don't want to create additional problems. Respond to his actions in a polite and positive manner; pray for him and if necessary, report his behavior to his parents. He may realize that his attitude is a reflection of himself.
Warning
- Don't retaliate with the same rude behavior, you'll only show that it's bothering you. After all, if you are also being impudent, then what is the difference between you and him?
- Don't change for him. Don't give him a chance to feel superior and overwhelm you. Remember, rude people often play power games implicitly, one of which is when they try to change you to their liking.
- Do not take any action that could trigger a conflict. If his behavior annoys you, move away from him immediately. Remember, provoking an argument or turning your back on it will only make an already bad situation worse.
