Do you feel that people are looking at you with strange eyes? Does your best friend no longer invite you to do activities like before? You may wonder if other people think of you as an annoying person. To figure this out, start by looking at your behavior objectively. You can also pay attention to the clues that other people give you. Don't worry if you need to change. There are several ways to do it!
Step
Method 1 of 3: Observing Behavior
Step 1. Think about whether you often pass your work on to other people
Start by observing how you interact with other people. Pay attention to your habits and see if you tend to shift your responsibilities to someone more often. If so, there's a good chance that other people are upset about your behavior.
- Think about whether you often ask your co-workers to help with your assignments. If so, there's a good chance they're upset with your attitude.
- You may notice that you often avoid your workload or responsibilities while working on group projects at school. Your friends may be embarrassed by this attitude.
- Maybe your job at home is to take out the trash. If you always tell your brother to do it, of course he will feel annoyed.
Step 2. Observe how much noise you make
Maybe you have never thought about whether you are often noisy or not. Now is the perfect time to pay attention to your habits. Throughout the day, note down or pay attention to situations that allow you to annoy others with noise. Take time during the week to jot down moments when other people were bothered by your noise. Some examples of annoying noise include:
- Annoying neighbors by playing too loud music.
- Talk while a movie is playing in theaters or while you're watching a show on Netflix with friends.
- Cutting off other people's speech in social situations.
- Say something while the other person is still talking in a meeting or class.
- Chat with someone aloud on a cell phone in a public place.
Step 3. Consider whether your body smells bad
Smell can be a very annoying thing for most, whether it smells good or smells bad. These odors include body odor, bad breath, and the pungent smell of perfume or cologne.
- Are you using too much perfume, cologne, body spray, or body lotion?
- Do you often eat strong-smelling foods?
- Are you taking a shower?
- Do you use deodorant and/or other body care products?
- Are you diligent in changing clothes every day?
- Do you wash your clothes before putting them back on?
- Did your pet get to dirty your clothes (with their droppings) before you put them on?
Step 4. Pay attention to how often you think or act negatively
If you often say negative things, other people around you will start to get annoyed. You may not be aware of your attitude so try to pay attention to how you speak.
- Complaints can sometimes help you deal with your feelings, but make sure you don't complain often. If you complain a lot, people won't be happy to chat with you.
- You'll come across as annoying if you often say things like “Yes, but…” For example, if a coworker gives you a suggestion and you respond with, “Yes, but the client doesn't seem to like it,” your response will make him feel like his suggestion or idea isn't appreciated..
- Your attitude is also seen as negative if you can't accept compliments. When someone compliments you, don't say, for example, "Thanks for your compliment on my cooking, but actually the chicken was too dry and the sauce tasteless!"
Step 5. Watch how you speak
The way you talk and what you say can irritate others around you. If you speak too fast or discuss inappropriate topics, people will get irritated. In addition, using too much slang, abusive language, or profanity will annoy other people. Watch for annoying behavior like this:
- Too often use certain words inappropriately (eg the word “like” in sentences like “That's it, yes, what is it like? It's like that!”).
- Using SMS language.
- End the statement in such a way that it sounds like a question.
- Using inappropriate pronouns (e.g. “lo”, not “you” or “you”).
- Too often correct others.
- Overuse of certain phrases (eg “That's right!” or “That's really great!”).
- Always talk about yourself.
- Giving unwanted advice.
- Speak in very long sentences without pauses.
Step 6. Watch your attitude
If you often forget about your manners or manners, there's a good chance that people will resent you. You don't need to be overly polite, but try to understand and show good manners or manners. Start by always remembering to say “please” and “thank you”.
- Speak at the right volume, even when you're feeling upset. Don't turn up the volume when you're arguing with other people.
- Who are you meeting? For example, if you're sitting next to a classmate during your lunch break, try saying, “Hi, Via! How are you?"
- Don't interrupt someone in a chat. If you need to cut someone off, try saying, “Sorry, I have to cut you off. Can you explain again what you said earlier?"
Step 7. Take time to reflect on yourself every day
When doing self-reflection, you need to take a closer look at yourself. Get into the habit of sitting down and thinking about the course of your day. Consider your actions and the reactions of others. In this way, you can understand yourself better.
- Take 20 minutes every day to reflect on yourself. You can write down the results of your self-reflection in a journal or think while taking a walk.
- Think about the form of interaction you experience on one day. If your interaction is positive, note the things that made the interaction successful. If not, think about what you can do to make your interactions better or more positive in the future.
Step 8. Ask for feedback from someone you trust
One of the easiest ways to tell if you're an annoying person is to ask. If you feel that your relationship with someone is starting to strain, let them know that you are aware of it. You could say to your best friend, I don't think we've been spending much time together lately. Did I do something to upset you?”
- To a coworker, you might say, “Do you think other people are bothered when I enjoy durian in the break room?”
- If someone gives you useful feedback, say thank you and try to make the necessary changes.
Method 2 of 3: Catching Hints
Step 1. Pay attention to the other person's facial expressions
You can look at a person's face to see if he's upset. If he seems relaxed and smiling, there's a good chance he isn't bothered. Some signs of annoyance that someone shows include:
- Frowned
- Rolling eyes
- Raised eyebrows
- Covering his mouth (with his hands) or closing his lips tightly
Step 2. Watch for signs of discomfort
In addition to facial expressions, you can also observe other people's body language. Some people subconsciously show “signals” when they feel uncomfortable or upset. Watch for the following signs:
- Lack of eye contact, or dreamy stares
- Scratching the neck
- Wiping face
- Looking at the door or the clock
- Legs pointed away from the other person
- Folded arms
- Feeling restless
Step 3. Ask questions if you don't understand
It's okay to ask for clarification when you don't understand what someone is thinking or feeling. If you're not sure, tell me what you noticed, then ask what it means. For example, you can ask things like this:
- "I noticed you looked at the clock a lot. Do you have to go?"
- "You look restless. Is something bothering you?"
- "You look uncomfortable. Do we need to change the subject?"
- "Did I upset you?"
Step 4. Watch for changes in the relationship
If you want to know if you're upsetting someone, take some time to think and look at your relationship with them objectively. Did that change just happen? It is possible that the person concerned is upset with you.
- Do your coworkers stop chatting with you over coffee in the morning? Try asking him if everything is okay.
- If your best friend no longer takes you to the movies, ask what happened.
- Do people often suddenly leave or end the chat when you arrive?
- When you start talking, do people often try to end the conversation as quickly as possible?
Step 5. Don't be prejudiced
It's possible that someone else is having their own problem. Maybe your brother has been so busy lately that he doesn't have time for you. It's natural to think that other people's attitude changes have something to do with you. However, you may not have anything to do with these changes. Keep in mind that everyone has their own problems, and the person you suspect may be feeling pressured by their work or school life.
Method 3 of 3: Making Positive Changes
Step 1. Practice a positive mindset
If you notice that you've been upsetting other people all this time, try changing some aspects of your behavior. Start by thinking more positively. If your thoughts are positive, you are more likely to show a more optimistic, friendly, and warm attitude.
Every night before going to bed, think about three good things that happened. Build gratitude so you feel better, and share those positive feelings with others
Step 2. Make sure you are surrounded by positive people
If someone is upset with you, you're not really at fault. Maybe you two just don't get along. This is not a problem. Try to interact and associate with people who behave and think positively.
- If someone doesn't want to sit next to you during your lunch break, don't think too much about it. Try joining other friends.
- If you have a friend who criticizes you a lot, spend time with other friends. Try to hang out with people who have a positive attitude.
Step 3. Get someone to help you when you start to be annoying
If you have a friend or coworker who you can trust and who can give you a "signal" when your behavior starts to get annoying, you can more actively break your bad habit. Ask a close friend or relative to help you identify negative behaviors.
You could say, “I noticed people didn't want to chat with me at parties. I guess I'll try to change my speaking habits. Can you help me show my bad habits?"
Step 4. Take an etiquette, effective communication, or speaking class
A guide can help you identify behaviors that need to change and what you can do. You can also practice communicating in a positive environment with other students who both want to improve their communication skills.
- Search the internet for information on classes, seminars, or workshops in your city.
- You may also be able to take communication classes at school.
- Check with your therapist to see if he or she offers group workshops.
Step 5. Be polite to others
One of the most common reasons people feel upset is that they have been treated harshly. Try to always show a good attitude so that you don't upset someone. Don't interrupt someone, always say “please” and “thank you”, and greet others warmly. You can also be polite by respecting someone's personal space.
Reflect attention on others. Show that you are listening to the other person by maintaining eye contact (or looking at him) and asking questions at the right time
Step 6. Take the time to listen to other people's opinions
Maybe you were asked not to talk much at meetings. This request arises because your opinion is not valid, and you often monopolize the conversation. Do not worry! You can handle this problem. Make an effort to listen more than talk. This means for a 10 minute chat, you shouldn't talk for more than 5 minutes.
- Make sure you only speak if you have something of value to add or say. For example, if your friends are chatting about their love of yoga, don't interrupt the conversation and say, “Hmm… Actually, spinning is much better!”
- Don't feel like you have to talk all the time. For example, if the passenger sitting next to you on the bus is reading a book, don't bother him with questions like “What book is that? Is the book good? Why is the cover image like that?"
- You can be friendly, but make sure you pay attention to other people's acceptance. Sometimes, other people need time to cool off and prefer to be alone.
Step 7. Accept and acknowledge the other person's feelings
Pay attention when other people talk about their feelings, and take them seriously. People really value someone who can hear them and feel heard and understood. Getting used to accepting and acknowledging other people's feelings can have a positive impact in the long run. Other people will feel comfortable with you and enjoy spending time with you.
Step 8. Stop talking about yourself
It sure sucks when someone keeps talking about themselves. If you notice that you do it often, look for ways to fix the problem at hand. For example, ask the other person a question about himself or herself. If you're talking about your love for the Tonight Show, try asking the other person's favorite television show.
- If you notice that you've been talking a lot about yourself, hold yourself back and ask questions about the other person, such as, "Hmm… How are you?"
- When someone tells you something, try not to react immediately and say, for example, "I've been through that too!" You can empathize, but make sure you let the other person direct the conversation.
- Pay attention to whether the other person is asking questions. Someone who is really interested in you will ask you to keep talking about yourself. In a situation like this, keep telling something about yourself until the topic of the conversation changes or changes naturally.
Step 9. Try not to be too hard on yourself
You may have annoyed other people. It doesn't matter because it can happen to anyone. However, don't torture yourself just because of that mistake. Sometimes making someone upset doesn't necessarily make you a bad person. Try to make an effort to remedy the situation by apologizing to the person who was upset (if possible) and going back to your normal life.
Tips
- Show a self-conscious attitude on social media. Don't post jokes or inappropriate comments.
- Apologize if you upset someone.
- Don't ask the other person too many questions because he could end up getting annoyed. You'll just seem like you want to know everything, and people don't like that kind of person.
- Culture and disability can play a role in body language. For example, eye contact is rude in some areas. In addition, a disability such as autism can trigger differences in body language, such as a lack of eye contact or nervousness. In this situation, compare his attitude to his original behavior.
