If you're bothered by other women flirting with their boyfriends, take a closer look at the situation first. Notice if the woman is the only one who is "actively" flirting with her boyfriend, or if your boyfriend is playing a role in the situation. After that, you can face the woman in person or wait until she gets home or stay in a closed place to deal with any issues with her boyfriend.
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Part 1 of 3: Analyzing the Situation
Step 1. Hold on and look at the situation objectively
When you see a woman flirting with your boyfriend, it's usually not just one person playing in the situation. The woman may throw a flirt or flirt first, but your boyfriend could be involved. Observe their interactions closely to determine whether they are flirting with each other, or just the woman flirting with your partner.
- By analyzing the situation, you can find out the most appropriate steps to deal with the situation at hand. Once you've identified who's involved in the problem, you can determine whether you need to talk to the flirt, your partner, or both. In addition, you can also determine the right time to speak to the parties involved.
- For example, if the woman is leaning towards him, winking flirtatiously, or puffing out her chest, that's what seduces or teases your partner, especially when he's showing a spoiled joke.
- If your partner leans closer to the flirt and responds to his flirting, he's flirting back. If he does not respond to the flirt's behavior, he is trying to avoid or resist the woman's advances.
Step 2. Focus on the flirt if she is the source of the problem
If your partner doesn't respond to the woman, focus on confronting or dealing with the flirt. You can read related tips in another section of this article. You don't have to be rude. However, you can handle the seduction that the woman throws in an implicit and meaningful way so that she understands the message being sent.
- You can raise an eyebrow at him to show that you know what he's doing.
- You can also just silence it. When you're in a public place, you may just need to ignore it.
Step 3. Wait for the right moment before facing your partner
If he initiates or responds to a flirt, wait until you can talk to him privately and deal with him. That way, you won't start a serious conversation in a public place and discuss the issue once you've calmed down.
Part 2 of 3: Dealing with Seduction on the spot
Step 1. Gaze at the tempter
The easiest way to warn a woman who is flirting with her boyfriend is to glare at her. Stare at him sharply without smiling until he "backs off". If he still doesn't pick up on your message, switch to another tactic.
Step 2. Show that your partner is yours
When the flirt starts flirting with him, show that he is flirting with your partner by physically touching him. Embrace her shoulders or hug her arms while holding her hand. Rest your head on his shoulder. Movements like these can make the tempter stop flirting with your partner.
Step 3. Affirm the relationship with words
Another way to mark your “territory” is to emphasize the relationship through words. For example, if the flirt asks what your partner is up to for the weekend, you might say, “Oh, we're planning to see Dilan together. It's our favorite movie, right, honey?"
- Using the word “we” will help get your message across to the tempter.
- You can also emphasize your togetherness by sharing other intimate stories (eg mentioning your favorite movie).
Step 4. Comment on the action
If the flirt is openly flirting with your partner, one way to warn them without being rude is to make comments about their behavior. This way, you can direct everyone's attention to the situation at hand and deal with it, without yelling or making things worse.
For example, the flirt may laugh excessively at your boyfriend's jokes. Try saying, “Honey, your jokes aren't that funny. I'm sorry. He's always badass."
Step 5. Get the tempter to talk alone
So that you don't get into trouble, ask him to talk alone about his attitude. This tactic may be more suitable for dealing with someone you already know, rather than a complete stranger. If other tactics don't work, have a little chat with him and then discuss the problem.
For example, you could say, "You may not even realize you're flirting with my boyfriend. I'm very annoyed and I hope you'll stop flirting with him."
Step 6. Avoid the situation
When you realize that your partner is always teased in certain situations, try to avoid those situations. For example, if your partner is flirting a lot when the two of you visit the club, it might be a good idea to stop going to the club again.
Alternatively, avoid the tempter. If the seducer is a familiar person, don't see him again if possible
Step 7. Don't think about the seduction the tempter throws at you
As another step, try to ignore the seduction he shows. If your partner can ignore it, so can you. In addition, the temptation that the woman throws actually makes the partner happier to meet you so that both of you can enjoy the moment together afterwards.
Part 3 of 3: Discussing Problems With Your Lover
Step 1. Tell him from the start
Say that you want to discuss your relationship. By letting him know in advance, he can prepare himself to discuss what he wants to talk about and you don't confuse him. In addition, you can also choose the right time to talk to him.
- When choosing a time to talk, you won't explode when he flirts with the flirt because you've already had the opportunity to discuss the matter.
- When discussing issues, make sure you have free time and turn off electronic devices so you don't get distracted.
Step 2. Talk about feelings
Start the conversation with what you observed and how you felt about it. This way, you can make your partner understand your feelings and point of view. Don't blame him because it will only make him defensive. Focus on your own feelings.
You can start the conversation by saying, “I noticed that there are a lot of women who often flirt with you. I'm glad that you are an interesting person. That's one of the reasons I wanted to date you. However, I am disturbed when you respond to their advances, rather than rejecting or avoiding them."
Step 3. Describe the feeling
You may be aware of why the flirtation thrown at your lover triggers emotions. For example, maybe you were in a relationship with someone who liked to flirt, and he left you for another woman. Therefore, when your partner seduces another woman, you are afraid that he too will leave you.
- Take some time to think about the problem at hand so that you understand why the flirtation you see is bothering you. Oftentimes, the problem is related to trust.
- You could say to your partner, “The flirting bothers me because my ex-boyfriend, Jojo, often flirts with other people, and you know what? He left me for another woman."
Step 4. Give him a chance to talk
After starting the conversation and explaining your feelings, give him a chance to talk. For example, he may not be aware that he is flirting with someone else, or that the situation may irritate or annoy you. Maybe he just wanted to try to be nice to other people.
- Instead of trying to think of something else to say, pay close attention to the explanation.
- Don't just dwell on the pain you feel. Listen to his feelings and intentions.
- Nod your head and ask follow-up questions to understand what he's saying. For example, you could say, “From my answer, it seems that you don't think the flirting is important. Why do you feel that way?"
Step 5. Discuss feelings of jealousy
Seduction is often associated with jealousy. Maybe he's deliberately flirting with other women because he wants to make you jealous. You could be overreacting because you often feel jealous or overprotective. Have a chat with your partner to see if jealousy is part of the problem.
- For example, you could say, "I've been too jealous lately. I think I get annoyed with the flirting you make to other people because I feel like I'm not enough for you."
- You could also ask, “Do you sometimes seduce other people to make me jealous? I'm just asking to find out what flaws in this relationship are driving you to make me jealous."
- Let him explain the impact your jealousy has had on his flirting so the conversation can continue.
Step 6. Find a solution
After discussing each other's feelings together, think about what you can do to improve the situation. You need to compromise to find a solution that is right for both parties so that each other's needs or wants are met as much as possible.
- One compromise that you can make is to rethink the actions that are considered a form of seduction. For example, you might see his interactions with other women as friendly chatter, rather than flirting, even if you previously saw them as a form of flirting. Meanwhile, you can think of it as flirting with another woman when your partner touches or leans towards her.
- Decide what you can do to remind him if he starts to overdo it. For example, you can whisper when he starts flirting with other women to get his attention.
- Immediately discuss his attitude when he started flirting. You don't need to have a serious chat in a restaurant. However, if you feel that your partner's flirting is getting worse, discuss the issue within a day so that he or she realizes that you are hurt and can correct the error.
- Show greater affection. Sometimes, your partner seduces other women because they don't get intimacy from you. Try holding her hand, give her a kiss, or dance with her on the terrace. A little romance like this can make both of you feel more loved and bonded.
Step 7. Leave him
Your last option is to leave it. If you can't stand his flirting and it's bothering you, and often upsetting you, you can end the relationship with him. Sometimes, all you need to do is take her attitude for granted or leave her.
