Sometimes we wonder if someone is angry with us, especially if their behavior is different from usual and we don't know why. Well, if you experience it, don't just sit around in anxiety. Try to find out what's really going on. If you don't know what is the best way to solve this problem, don't worry. We've put together a few questions to get him to talk and find out what's going on.
Step
Method 1 of 10: "Why is he mad at me?"
Step 1. Ask yourself this before you talk to him
Don't just assume he's angry, especially if there's been no recent conflict between the two of you. If he just doesn't reply to your text messages or is a bit distant, there may be other explanations that have nothing to do with you.
For example, if you meet an acquaintance while shopping, but he doesn't stop to chat, he may be in a hurry or have had some unpleasant issues that day
Method 2 of 10: "How are you feeling?"
Step 1. Try a subtle approach to give him a chance to open up
One surefire way to read other people's minds is to talk to them. Try calling or sending a message asking how he's doing. If something goes wrong, this question gives him a chance to tell. Even if he doesn't say much at first, you can continue with other questions.
You can also ask something like, “Hey, long time no hear from you. Are you alright?"
Method 3 of 10: "Do you have anything on your mind"?
Step 1. Let him know that you can feel his aura different
This shows that you care about his feelings, and that you know something is wrong. However, this question doesn't put pressure on him because you're not asking him directly if he's mad at you. You're just asking if something's bothering him.
Another question you can also try is, “I think something's bothering you, right? You want a story?"
Method 4 of 10: "It feels like there's some distance between us now, can we talk?"
Step 1. Try this question if you feel the emotion is directed at you
Sometimes, the signs of an angry person can be obvious, he may look at you with hate, respond with short and harsh answers, or be quiet when around you. If you feel negative energy like this, just ask what's wrong.
- If his attitude suddenly changes during a conversation, ask, "Did anything I say offend you?"
- When you ask a blunt question like this, be prepared to get a blunt answer too. Maybe he's harboring something you didn't expect, so let him share his feelings.
Method 5 of 10: "Can you explain why that makes you angry?"
Step 1. Ask for an explanation if you're not sure what made him angry
If he says that you did something to offend him, but you still don't know what exactly pissed him off, don't be afraid to dig deeper. You need to be able to understand what really happened if you want to avoid conflict with him in the future.
- Try to speak calmly and flatly when asking questions. If you sound judgmental or mocking, the situation will only get worse.
- When he talks, listen without defending yourself. Don't interrupt to share your thoughts, but occasionally respond with "I understand" or "yes, that's fine."
Method 6 of 10: "Is that really what you mean?"
Step 1. Restate what he just said
Repetition like this helps ensure that you both understand each other. However, state it in good language, don't underestimate his opinion, or the debate will heat up.
For example, say, “You think I was insensitive for ignoring your advice about living room paint, and you feel like I don't respect your opinion. Is that right?”
Method 7 of 10: "Want to hear my point of view?"
Step 1. Explain your point of view if that helps
If you think he'll understand why you did or said something, he probably won't be angry anymore. But be careful, you might come across as insensitive if you just want to prove you're right.
Remember that in an argument, how something is received by the other person is more important than the intention behind it. Sometimes apologizing is better than trying to defend yourself
Method 8 of 10: "Would you like to be alone first?"
Step 1. Brace yourself to step back a bit if he needs time
People who are angry sometimes need time to process their feelings before they can forget or solve problems. If he says he's not ready to talk, give him a little time before calling him again.
This is different for each person. If you're living with him, maybe you should go away for a few hours, then come home and try talking again. If they are far apart, wait a few weeks. The method depends on the situation, the closeness of the relationship, and the reasons that make him angry
Method 9 out of 10: "How do I fix it?"
Step 1. Ask if anyone can help
Maybe he already knows what you should do to improve the situation. For example, he might ask you something like, “Don't drop me again at the meeting,” or “I'd prefer it if you didn't comment on how I looked.” If he has answered clearly like that, try to fulfill his request so you can avoid the same problem in the future.
Don't agree to something you can't fulfill. For example, if he says, "I want you to quit your job so I don't have to see you again," that's a nonsensical excuse and you can totally say no
Method 10 out of 10: "I'm sorry, will you forgive me?"
Step 1. Apologize if you want to improve the relationship
Even if you don't feel completely at fault, take responsibility for your own actions. If you can understand his point of view, sincerely say that you are sorry. Admit your mistake, and ask if he will forgive you.
