Talking to your crush can be stressful for anyone, especially if you are a shy person. For a shy person like you, a simple conversation starter like a compliment or an invitation to study together can be a great way to start chatting with her. In the end, once you've chatted with him enough times, you'll probably feel comfortable enough to express how you feel. The key is confidence. Therefore, take a deep breath, be yourself, and chase your idol!
Step
Part 1 of 2: Building Courage
Step 1. Practice greeting other people
The more you practice, the easier and more familiar the "process" or step to introduce yourself will be. Build this skill by complimenting or greeting at least one person each day. Say hello to your classmates and start a chat with your classmate (or another student sitting near you). After feeling more confident, you can greet your idol.
Step 2. Think of some topics to talk about
If you don't know him yet, think about things he's interested in asking more about, or some things you both like to talk about together. If you don't know any of these things at all, think about general topics that are easy to talk about, like popular culture or current events.
- For example, if you know that your crush is into a certain sport or music, you could ask, “Hey! How was the match last night?” or “I heard your band was successful at yesterday's show. When is the next scheduled appearance?”
- If you are in his class (or participate in the same activity), mention or make a joke of the class or activity. This will help you develop jokes that both of you can understand or, at least, topics that you can come back to the next time you talk to them.
- The little preparation that is done doesn't necessarily require you to record the entire conversation. Speak directly and sincerely when you talk to him.
Step 3. Take a deep breath so you feel calm
Shyness can sometimes make you stiff or “paralyzed”, but deep breathing can help you relieve tension and make you calmer. Whenever you feel too shy or nervous, take the time to take a few deep breaths and deep breaths.
Step 4. Smile so you look (and feel) confident
Smiling is a powerful way to improve your mood and make you appear more friendly and attractive. In fact, smiling can make your body relax and your attitude more positive. If you feel nervous when you're with him, just flash him a smile that shows your confidence.
Part 2 of 2: Starting a Conversation
Step 1. Start the conversation with a compliment
If you've never chatted with them, it might be difficult for you to find common ground or reasons to start a chat. An easy way to initiate interaction with her is to compliment her or comment on what she's wearing.
- If he's wearing a t-shirt with the logo of a band you like (or a place you've been to before), you have a better chance of starting a conversation. For example, you could say, “Hey! I actually love this band! Did you watch the concert?” or “The weather is currently good for a visit to Bandung. Have you been there recently?”
- Compliments can be an easy conversation starter because neither you nor your crush have the “obligation” to continue the conversation after the first contact/interaction, even though you still have the opportunity/opportunity to continue. After starting the interaction, you can smile or say hello whenever you see him. Things like this can also build a relationship between the two of you.
Step 2. Ask him for a little help
Borrowing a pencil or asking for a piece of paper can be an easy (and less stressful) way to open up communication. This form of interaction creates a phenomenon known as the “Ben Franklin effect”. In this case, the person you turn to for help is more likely to like you and build a relationship with you.
Constantly asking for help can be annoying, so make sure you don't do it too often. You can ask him for help once or twice (most often)
Step 3. Invite him to study together
If you're in the same class as her, studying together can be an easy (and casual) way to chat with her for longer periods of time. Before the exam or quiz is held, you can invite him to meet and study together.
- For example, you could say in a friendly tone, “Hey! How about for tomorrow's test? Do you want to study the exam materials with me tonight?”
- You can take him to study in a public place, such as a library or coffee shop, or at your home, depending on how well you know him.
- If you haven't chatted with him before, you can create a study group with some other friends and invite your crush to join. This way, your invitation will seem more casual and general (in this case, involving anyone), and not reflect an invitation that was suddenly expressed and said to him only.
Step 4. Ask questions
Once you've started the initial conversation, asking questions is the easiest way to keep the conversation going. Having questions also shows him that you are genuinely interested in him. In addition, you can feel more calm and relaxed. If you're really feeling shy and nervous, try asking questions and letting him talk so you have time to cool off.
Some topics you can ask include interests, hobbies, work, plans for the weekend, or popular culture recommendations (e.g. favorite books or movies)
Step 5. Maintain eye contact with him
Feelings of shyness and nervousness can make it difficult for you to maintain eye contact with them, but resist the urge to look away. Show him that you're interested in what he's saying by maintaining eye contact throughout the conversation. However, too intense eye contact is just as bad as not showing any eye contact at all. Therefore, as a guide for you, maintain eye contact with him for 1/3 the duration of your talk, and 2/3 of the duration of listening.
