A best friend is someone you can trust with your deepest secrets, rely on critical times and celebrate life events together. But developing the ability to be a good friend to yourself means you can rely on your own decisions and be your own source of comfort when you need advice or support. Being your best friend can also be a great way to get through feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and instability in your life. By cultivating a productive and successful self, you can learn to trust yourself to consistent learning and turn within to solve any problem or issue you may encounter.
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Method 1 of 2: Making Healthy Relationships with Yourself
Step 1. Take some time to get to know yourself
Think about what drives or motivates you, your likes and dislikes, and your strengths and weaknesses. We tend to look outside to find out our own tastes, ideas, goals, and goals, from gossip about water coolers at work to Facebook posts and Instagram likes in the palm of our hands. But the more you understand yourself on an honest and real level, the easier it becomes to like and respect who you really are, rather than who you think other people are, the trends and circumstances in your life.
- Grab a pen and a piece of paper or your diary and consider clues like, "Things I like," "Who am I now," and "What would I say to my 99-year-old self?" Write down your answers and then read them again. These clues will help you dig deeper to get to know yourself.
- Face-to-face therapy, as well as lifestyle and clinical workshops can help you develop a deeper self-awareness. Investigate the various self-development services available to you in your area, or online.
Step 2. Think about your relationships with other people
Consider how you interact with other people in your life, from your spouse or loved one, to casual acquaintances and strangers on the street. Your attitude toward them reflects back on how you feel, and the good relationships in your life can serve as a model for how to be a good friend to yourself.
Write down the names of the people you think are important in your life, and why they are important to you. Think about questions like, "Why am I grateful to have these people in my life?" and "What will these people say at my funeral?"
Step 3. Set achievable goals for yourself
Instead of relying on others to set goals and expectations for you, create and set goals for yourself. These goals can range from small changes in your life like doing the laundry and making your room bigger and more challenging like speaking in front of a class or applying for a desired new position or career role. By setting goals so that you meet your own expectations, you can take control of what you expect of yourself and feel satisfied when you achieve each goal.
- To determine how achievable your goals are, consider questions such as: "Are my goals specific?", "Can I measure my goals?" and "What is my goal in terms of my desires and my life?"
- Track your goals in a journal or diary. As long as you keep track of your progress, finish each entry with a positive affirmation like "I approve of myself" to reinforce personal acknowledgment of your accomplishments.
Method 2 of 2: Enjoying Yourself
Step 1. Get out of your comfort zone
Changing your normal routine and atmosphere or taking yourself completely outside of your norm can help you get to know yourself better.
- Take a solo trip to a foreign place or country. Solo travel is a great way to put yourself in a situation where you are navigating new and different environments, and feeling alone for long periods of time. You will also be able to develop strong independence and self-reliance, as well as an openness to the different attitudes and customs of others.
- If you're not ready for some drastic alone time in a foreign country, going for short walks around your neighborhood alone or minimizing the distractions you have access to in your home and daily life can help you embrace change. Even small shifts in your normal routine can allow you to challenge yourself and get to know yourself better.
Step 2. Develop a daily hobby that you enjoy alone
Cultivating hobbies that you can enjoy alone or activities that only involve you are great ways to get used to your presence and appreciate it.
Solitary activities such as fishing, knitting, surfing, writing, reading, or even meditation will deepen your understanding of yourself and create meaningful alone time. It will also help you instill self-love, an important factor in being a good friend to yourself
Step 3. Go on a date with yourself
We have been conditioned to enjoy ourselves in the presence of others but not in the presence of ourselves. So it's important to learn how to have fun alone, whether it's movies and dinner or live music and beer.
A single date night outside will help you enjoy yourself in a positive way. Without the distraction of other people sitting across from you, you may find you pay more attention to movies or bands, or are more aware of your own opinions and perspectives about your surroundings
Step 4. Make sure you treat yourself
All the special attention and affection you get from a best friend? You also have the exact same power to do the same to yourself.
Enjoy a relaxing massage, buy yourself flowers or a special gift. Random acts of kindness describe you love and respect yourself
Step 5. Praise yourself and earnestly
In the groundbreaking 1974 book, How to Be Your Own Best Friend, psychologists Mildred Newman and Bernard Berkowitz discuss the value of self-worth during the process of being a good friend to yourself. They recommend: “when you do something you're proud of, stay there for a while, praise yourself for it, enjoy the experience, soak it up.” By acknowledging your worth and instilling inner value, you take control of what makes you feel good. Instead of trying to fit your choices and decisions into what others define as successful or influential, turn inward and acknowledge that you have value and meaning in the world. Don't wait for others to recognize your worth.
- Praising yourself helps you focus on the positive aspects of your day rather than the negative. Avoid negative self-talk such as mentioning your own name and dropping yourself down. Instead, work on positive self-talk until it becomes a habit.
- A good friend will have a great sense of humor, so have a good attitude towards yourself and the things you say, think, and do. By being positive and supportive of yourself, you won't take yourself too seriously and will be able to laugh at yourself in a healthy and helpful way.
Step 6. Work on improving your friendships every day
Whether you're keeping track of any improvements or adjustments to your relationship with yourself by writing down your thoughts and challenges in a diary or journal or if you're keeping an inner note of your journey toward self-discovery, it's a good idea to track your progress as you progress. develop friendships with yourself.
