Fake friends are sometimes difficult to identify or separate from real friends. If you know someone who is only friends for profit, they are fake friends. A true friend will support you, love you for who you are, forgive your mistakes, and stand up for you. True friends make you feel like you have to act differently around them. Also, if you feel like you're not being yourself, it could be that he's just a fake friend. Fake friends tend to create drama and are not great for company. To break up with a fake friend, be prepared to end the friendship with him. To end unhealthy friendships, you need to talk to fake friends. After that, try to maintain a good and healthy circle of friends with good friends.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Preparing to End the Relationship
Step 1. Check the quality of your friendship
Some friends may be fake, but others may just be shy or have a hard time connecting with other people. If he is a true friend, he should have the following characteristics:
- He may not say anything interesting, but will listen to you when you're having a hard time.
- He will make you comfortable being yourself.
- He supports you.
- He still maintains communication even though he doesn't want anything.
- He remained in the hard times, not just in the good times.
- He cares about your safety and health.
Step 2. Determine if he is really a fake friend
Try to determine if he really is a fake friend. If he is a fake friend, try to find out what profit he made from the friendship. Fake friends will:
- Talking about you behind.
- Utilizes you to climb certain social chains.
- Uses you to approach someone you know well.
- Copy work or take advantage of your smarts.
- Trying to extract information from you.
- Only talk when you need something.
- Embarrassing or making you feel embarrassed in front of a crowd.
Step 3. Feel free to cut ties with fake friends
If your friends have changed or your relationship has grown distant from each other, this could be a sign that your friendship has faded. Even if you were once best friends, people are always changing. Don't fight your self-development, just be grateful for the good times you've had together. If you feel like your friendship is starting to fall apart, you don't need to formally break it off. Just let the friendship disappear by itself.
This may be the best path if you can't find a compelling reason to end the friendship. Especially if the two of you start to like different things and hang out with different circle of friends
Step 4. Eliminate the thing that benefits your fake friend
Quitting giving fake friends an advantage may be difficult for you, especially if you like to “please other people”. However, your fake friend might just want to take advantage of that. In addition, he may leave you after he gets what he wants.
- If he tries to cheat on an assignment, make it impossible by changing seats or not allowing him to copy it.
- If you believe he or she is just a friend to get close to your friend, call the person in question when the fake friend isn't around.
- If he only calls you when he needs something, decline the request. You can also say that the request is unlikely to be possible in the future. For example, “Tasya, I know I've been giving you a ride for the past month, but I can't seem to do it anymore.”
Step 5. Limit contact with the person
To end a relationship with a fake friend, stay away from him as much as possible. Refuse invitations to play gently. Say "Sorry, I'm busy". The purpose of this is to give you space from fake friendship pressures, while finding ways to end your relationship with him.
Do not immediately ignore or silence it. This is often seen as immature and can provoke anger from fake friends, as well as drama from good friends you have
Step 6. Seek advice from trusted people
Talk to your family, close friends, or lover and hear what they have to say about the situation. They may be able to offer opinions from different points of view or advice on the matter. If you are not close to a family member yourself, seek help from a counselor at school or a psychiatrist.
Counselors at school have experience solving friendship-related problems between students at school that can help you
Step 7. Make sure you really want to end the friendship
Ending a friendship is a big thing. It's really hard to put things back the way they were if you regretted it later. Consider other options if you are currently in a fight or misunderstanding. If you really want to end the friendship, you should be able to find some reasons why this friendship just makes you unhappy and why you would be happier without it. Write down the pros and cons of the decisions made, then consider the end result.
Method 2 of 3: Ending the Relationship
Step 1. End your relationship straight away
If you decide to end the friendship, do it right and give it the attention it deserves. You may feel sad, but try to rise above all these emotions and face the issue maturely. Remember that you were once a good friend and you may interact with them in the future. So, try to respect him during this process.
- Don't end your friendship with a phone call. The only reason to do this is if you can't see the person in person or if you're concerned about the person's temperament.
- Don't end your relationship via text or email. This method can worsen your self-image and the way you treat a friend. In addition, this can increase the risk of communication misunderstandings.
Step 2. Invite him to meet
Schedule a time and place to meet your friend and talk about ending the friendship. Even if you're planning to talk about this over the phone, find a time that's convenient so that you two can talk without any distractions. Don't wait too long, as your friend may sense that something's not right, so waiting makes her worry even more.
Ask to meet in a simple and uncomplicated way. Say “Hey, looks like we need to talk. When do you have time?”
Step 3. Choose a time and place to meet
There are several things to keep in mind when planning a conversation with your friend. The goal is to give the conversation room to sound fluid. The tips below might help.
- Speak in a private place. Ending a friendship can turn into an emotional situation and this should happen in a place that doesn't attract a lot of attention.
- Make sure you're both calm, and make sure you don't schedule these conversations before important times like school exams or work evaluations at work.
- Limit your meeting times and don't meet in places where you spend a lot of time, such as a restaurant.
Step 4. Decide what to say
It's a good idea to take the time to prepare what things need to be said when breaking up, especially friendships. Organizing your points will make you calmer, firmer, and clearer.
- Make sure you convey everything clearly. There shouldn't be a single thing that makes him hesitate after meeting you.
- Be firm about what you want and don't want in a relationship, from today onwards.
- Explain in detail and make sure you convey everything that needs to be said, as well as everything you felt during this conversation. Planning the conversation will help you focus so you don't say "I should have said this later!" after the meeting is over.
- When planning your points, find a balance between being honest and being kind. Don't blame or abuse the friend you're trying to become your ex-friend.
Step 5. Talk to him
This part can be the most stressful time, but try to be strong. You have prepared well. So, it's time to start the conversation that was planned and prepared for him. Explain how you feel and why you shouldn't be friends anymore. Be honest and straightforward, but still show your good attitude.
- Start the conversation by acknowledging that this is a tough decision. "This is very difficult for me to convey and may not be pleasant to hear."
- Speak straight to the point. "I'm really unhappy with our friendship and I think we should not be friends anymore for the common good."
Step 6. Present a plausible reason
The longer you two talk, the more you will get to the point where you need to state your reasons for ending the relationship. Explain why you are unhappy without blaming the friend. Whatever the reason, start with "I've been feeling…". Here are some examples:
- If your boyfriend is cheating on you with the friend, say something like "I don't feel like I can trust you, and I'm hurt that someone claiming to be my friend did it."
- If he's constantly making fun of you or making you feel low, say "I feel like spending time with you isn't healthy for me and my confidence because of the bad things you say."
Step 7. Complete all the things you want to convey
You've already put forward the reasons why you two had to separate. Now, you can start ending the conversation. You have to show a good attitude and mention some nice things while still being friends. Try to:
- Explain to him that you appreciate the happy moments you share together. “I really enjoyed the time I spent with you. I will remember it in my heart. Like when we…”
- Blame yourself too, if you can. "I don't know, maybe we're not really good friends. Maybe I'm not a good friend to you either."
Step 8. Give him a chance to talk
You have poured your heart out. Now, give him a chance to respond to what you have to say. Be prepared to face your friend's emotional side that may differ from expectations. He may apologize, defend himself or get angry, or feel sad. He may also feel all three emotions at once. Listen to what he has to say. Straighten out anything that could lead to misunderstandings or that could make you feel bad about ending your relationship.
Don't argue with him at this point. If he responds with anger, he will usually start attacking you with harsh words or blaming you. Don't stick with him, just say "Sorry if you feel offended."
Step 9. End your conversation
How to end a conversation depends on how he reacts to what you say. Again, be prepared for a variety of responses. So, regardless of the situation, you can strategize how to end the conversation.
- If he responds with anger and starts to raise his voice, don't be provoked. Say "I want to talk about this maturely, but if you keep yelling I'm leaving."
- If he seems sad, continue the conversation until he calms down. Then say "Thanks for talking to me. I'm sorry if this hurt you."
- If he apologizes, examine your feelings and consider whether you want to try to restore the friendship. If you need time to process what he's saying, say "I need to think about what you just said. Can we continue this conversation tomorrow?”
Step 10. Set limits
Decide what kind of interaction you want the person to have in the future. Make sure you are firm with your decision and express it clearly at the end of the conversation. Make it clear that this is your wish and ask him to respect it. Setting boundaries clearly will make it easier for you to live them in the future.
- If you have friends in common, say that you can only see them when you're with other friends.
- If you don't want to contact him again, no problem. Let him know that you choose not to communicate again in the future.
- If your friendship only brings trouble, make sure to end the relationship once and for all.
Method 3 of 3: Dealing with the Consequences
Step 1. Adhere to the set limits
You may notice a reaction to the breakup. The ex-friend may try to win you over again or get you in touch. If he does this, remind him of the boundaries that were set and ask him to respect them. The person may get angry and berate you in person, online, or speak ill of another friend of yours. This person just wants to provoke your reaction or seek an outlet for his anger. Never indulge in this behavior. It will take some time for him to understand and accept your decision.
Step 2. Don't ignore rude, childish, or aggressive behavior
Understand that this is not as easy as it sounds. Remember that you ended the friendship for the same reason, which was that you didn't want to deal with the drama he created anymore. This behavior is the reason it is a fake friend to be shunned. Rest assured that your decision to end the relationship is the right one. Beware of these forms of behavior:
- Constantly texting, calling, emailing or texting via social media.
- He may say bad things about you or try to get other friends to stay away from you.
- Make fun of or talk about you behind your back.
- Makes you feel responsible for his choices or behavior over the years.
Step 3. Deal with the emotions that come with the loss of a friend
Even if you are the one who ended the relationship, understand that all relationships will end at some point. You may experience a mixture of emotions, ranging from relief, freedom, guilt, sadness, anger, or hopelessness. Allow yourself to cry over the end of the friendship, and deal with the various emotions that follow.
One good way to deal with emotions is to write them down. Take the time to write down what was on your mind about the breakup, and why it happened. Writing down what's in your heart can help you identify how you're feeling as well as help you recover from all kinds of emotions and channel them in a healthy way
Step 4. Take care of any other friendships that may be affected by this issue
If you're still in school, you probably have friends in common with your former friends. Breaking friendships can put your other friend in an awkward position. He may feel compelled to side with one of you or be confused about how to act around you to keep the other friend's feelings in check. Talk about this openly with him. Don't gossip, and avoid giving too much detail if you can.
Say something like “I know you and Tasya are friends, and since we're both friends too, I felt compelled to tell her what really happened. Tasya and I are no longer friends. We've talked about it openly. I'm telling you this so you don't feel awkward or in the middle of a problem.”
Warning
- Avoid ghosting habits to sever your friendship. Ghosting refers to keeping someone quiet or suddenly disappearing from his life until he realizes you don't want to continue the relationship. Try to put yourself in his shoes and end your friendship in a mature way.
- Whenever you feel a fake friend's behavior seems aggressive, you should contact the appropriate authorities. Don't put yourself in danger just to end your relationship. Talking to your parents, teachers, or boss at work can help you end your relationship safely.
