Ending a friendship with a best friend is difficult, regardless of whether you've been friends with them and have been inseparable for months or years. However, if you're not happy about the time you spent with them and don't want to be friends anymore, ending the friendship may be the best solution for both parties. Fortunately, there are a number of ways you can follow to unfriend someone, such as gradually "turning off" the friendship or expressing your desire to no longer be friends with them directly. After the friendship ends, there are also some things you can do to get your mind back and get back on track.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Keeping Away from Him
Step 1. Reply to his message or call after a few days if he calls you
He may not understand or accept what's going on so there's a good chance he'll start calling or texting you more often when you stop talking to him. In this situation, don't take phone calls from him or reply directly to his messages and posts on social media. Wait a few days before contacting him, and make sure your response is always brief.
- If he asks a question that can't be answered with a “yes” or “no”, just give a brief reply and don't mention any other information.
- If he asks something that requires a longer answer, keep it as short and impersonal as possible.
Step 2. Find an excuse so you don't have to spend time with him
He may be trying to make plans with you when you start to distance yourself from him. In a situation like this, find an excuse so you don't have to follow the plan. You could say, for example, that you've had other appointments, aren't feeling well, have a lot of work to do, or some other reason to avoid planning with him. Do not suggest alternate times; just create and give your reasons.
- For example, if he asks you what your plans are for the weekend, you might reply, “I'm busy this weekend. I already have events with my family.”
- If he asks you to suggest time to spend with him, you can say, "I have so much work to do lately that I can't promise you any time."
Step 3. Cut back on your “gifts” if you have to spend time with them
Your best friend is probably used to you doing whatever she wants. If this is the case and you can't avoid meeting him, turn things around and cut back on your "gift". This way, he will be reluctant to spend time with you and will no longer be interested in making plans with you.
For example, if you usually go to his house to see him, say that he should come to your house
Step 4. Bring up topics that are neutral and impersonal if you don't want to have to chat with them
Meeting someone can be an opportunity to build rapport and closeness. Therefore, it is important for you to keep your distance when you meet him unexpectedly. Stay on neutral topics and limit the information you give him about yourself.
- For example, if he's asking how he's doing, you could say, for example, "Yeah, that's how it is."
- If you don't want to talk to him at all, just leave him. If you want to stay friendly, you can smile politely and wave your hand.
Step 5. Stop contacting him via phone calls, text messages, or social media
If you're sure you want to stop being friends with him, you should stop contacting him too. After distancing yourself from him for a few weeks, stopped contacting him. Don't call, text, or contact him via social media. If you run into him frequently on your way to school, take a different route. If you go to school or work at the same place, find out if you can sit on a bench further away from him.
Tip: If you go to the same school as him, ask your counselor, teacher, or counselor to choose another class so you don't have to take another class with him.
Method 2 of 3: Telling Her That Friendship Is Over
Step 1. Choose a neutral place to meet and talk to him
Don't meet him at his house or yours to talk. However, you should also not choose a public place that is too crowded (eg school canteen). Choose a place that is “neutral”, such as a cafe or park. Thus, neither party feels benefited. Instead of someone having to leave the place of one of the two parties, the two of you can also separate immediately after the chat (in this case, not going down the same path).
It would be better if you meet him face to face while talking. However, you can also text him if you're worried about his reaction (eg he has a bad temper or just yells at you)
Step 2. Begin the question with the pronoun “I” to explain that you don't want to be friends with him anymore
Think about the things that make you want to end your friendship with him. After that, tell him why you don't want to be friends with him anymore based on those things. Don't start your sentences with the pronoun "you" because this can make him more defensive.
- For example, you could say, “I don't think we can be friends anymore. I'm offended that you never asked how I was."
- You could also say, “I don't think we need to communicate just yet for now. I was devastated when you criticized my appearance and forced me to change.”
- Statements that begin with the pronoun "I" probably won't make him defensive. Therefore, it is important for you to package what you want to say in that format.
Step 3. Listen to the response, but remain firm in your decision
After explaining how you feel, he may want to give you a response or answer. Show a willingness to listen, but stick to your decision. Don't let him shake your heart if you're sure you don't want to be friends with him anymore. Make eye contact with him, nod your head to show that you're paying attention to what he's saying, and avoid things that can distract you (e.g. cell phones).
Try to show open body language while listening to him (eg by sitting facing him, lowering your arms at your sides, and leaning toward him)
Step 4. Don't be tempted to discuss who is at fault (or who is causing the problem)
It's possible he wants to know more about why you want to unfriend him, but that usually won't solve any problems. If he starts bringing up problems in the past or your comments that he deems wrong, stop him and say goodbye.
For example, you could say, "I don't want to talk about it because I don't think this will solve anything."
Tip: If he starts cursing or physically attacking you, you don't have to say anything. Just leave him.
Step 5. End the chat positively
Try saying something that shows that you don't hold a grudge for him, even if you don't want to be friends with him anymore. You can say that you cherish the memories with him, or that you will remain polite and friendly the next time you see him.
You could say, for example, “I will always remember the good times we had together”, or “I will always wish you the best!”
Method 3 of 3: Feeling Better After Ending Friendship
Step 1. Talk to a trusted friend or family member about what happened
Ask a supportive friend or family member to meet you so they can chat with you, or call them. Tell me what happened and how you felt. If the friend or family member you're calling is also friends with your ex, make sure he's comfortable talking to you about the end of your friendship with him first.
After ending a friendship with a friend, you need to talk it over with someone you can trust
Step 2. Remove him from your social media feeds
So that you don't have to see their photos and uploads, unfriend them, unfollow them, or turn off notifications about them on social media. There's a good chance he'll do the same, so you don't have to feel bad about it. You can even take a break from social media for a few weeks or longer. That way, you won't see posts featuring him (or his profile bookmarks) and content that reminds you of him.
Seeing his photos and uploads every day will only make you feel worse
Step 3. Make plans with other people to keep yourself busy
Organize events with friends and other family members to fill your new free time. Plan fun activities that will excite you. For example, you could take your friends for a game of bowling or mini-golf on the weekends, ask your family to accompany you on a hike, or join a specialty club or field group in your city to meet new friends.
With something to look forward to or excited about, you'll feel better and be able to keep yourself busy
Tip: Keep in mind that you may need some time before you can make friends with other people. You can't make friends with someone in a hurry. Therefore, be patient.
Step 4. Don't talk about your ex-best friend
Other friends may want to know why you are no longer friends with your ex, but you don't need to explain anything. Your answer will only trigger awkwardness and make the other friends feel that you want them to side with someone. So try to think of a simple way to explain what happens when someone asks you about it.
You could say, for example, “Yes. We don't spend much time together anymore."
Step 5. Set goals that can be pursued to fill your free time
Try setting personal, professional, academic, or fitness goals for yourself and find out what steps you can take to reach those goals. For example, if you aspire to finish writing a book that was delayed, try to write your book for 30 minutes every day. If you want to get a promotion at work, take on additional work and volunteer for special projects to stand out from the crowd.
Ideals become the right object to refocus your attention and not drown in the problems that occur between you and your former best friend
Step 6. Look for lessons you can take from your experience
Reflect on your friendship with him and what damaged him to see things you can change or avoid in the future. For example, if you stopped being friends with him because he was negative and his behavior hurt you, you could interact with or draw closer to people who are more positive in the future. Or, if you cut off your friendship with him because he was depending on you too much and you need some space to yourself, find other friends who are more independent.
