Love is expressed as an action and experienced as a feeling. However, love has an essence that cannot be defined in one way, love includes compassion, determination, patience, support, belief, and many more. Everyone can love, and there is no limit to the amount of love you can give or receive. If you're having trouble expressing or receiving love, there are always ways to help you open up more to love.
Part 1 of 3: Loving Yourself
Step 1. Respect yourself
Before you love others, you must love yourself. Learning to love yourself means accepting and appreciating your own weaknesses. You have many unique qualities. Learn to respect yourself for who you are and the positive attributes you can give to others.
- If you're having trouble loving yourself, work on developing yourself. Increase your confidence by accepting the past and moving forward. Maybe you feel that your past makes you unlovable, or that there are too many problems to love. That is not true. Accept everything that happened to you, forgive yourself, and welcome a new day.
- You can find out how by reading the article How to Love Yourself.
Step 2. Take care of yourself as you would anyone else
This is difficult if you are someone who always feels called to care for others or if you have children. Remember, your ability to care for others will only improve if you also take good care of yourself.
- Don't make yourself the last priority. Instead, do whatever it takes to take care of yourself. Reward yourself with a massage or a long soak. Do one thing in particular for yourself every day.
- It also means you have to set boundaries and dare to resist. If you need a break, say no to friends asking you to hang out.
Step 3. Be grateful
Grateful people have better health and feel happier. Find ways to be grateful for everything in life, and most importantly, be grateful for yourself.
Think about the characteristics you like about yourself. Maybe you are very loving, generous, or a good listener. Maybe you can learn a new skill easily. Maybe you're good at painting or dealing with electronics like a pro. Take time to be grateful
Step 4. Have a good attitude
Find something positive, big or small, in all situations, including those that seem negative. A positive outlook is associated with better health and emotional well-being, such as lower levels of sadness and a longer life. If you start to have negative thoughts, especially about yourself, turn them into positive thoughts.
- Practice positive self-talk to turn negative thoughts into positive ones.
- Fight negative thoughts about new situations. Instead of thinking, "I'm going to screw this up, you idiot!", say "I'm proud of myself for trying something new."
- If you're thinking, "I'm not very good at hanging out with new people," replace it with "I enjoy learning to socialize and meeting people who are like me. I know I can make new friends.”
Step 5. Do what makes you happy
Being happy is part of loving yourself. Create a happy state by doing what makes you happy. Do everything that makes your body, mind, emotions, and spirit good. Happiness really depends on trying to make life more positive.
You can choose to meditate, practice yoga, paint or draw, kayak, hike, practice Muay Thai or engage in interesting discussions. Think about what makes you smile, and do it
Step 6. Find some alone time
An important part of taking care of yourself is spending time alone. This may be difficult if you live with other people or have a family and have children, but it is very important. Solitude can help you unwind, think about solutions to problems, refresh your mind, and explore yourself. Don't feel guilty because you want some alone time. By having the opportunity to be alone, you can improve your relationship by prioritizing happiness and recuperation.
- It is important to note that alone time is not to be used on social media. Try to do something that enriches your life and makes you feel good, such as taking a walk or journaling.
- If time to be alone is hard to find, get up earlier than everyone else or eat lunch alone. Ask your partner to watch the children for an hour each week so you can get out of the house and spend some time alone.
Step 7. Accept that you don't need a partner to feel complete
Some people believe that happiness and love can only be experienced through relationships, or that an unhappy relationship is still better than having no relationship at all. If you stay in an unhappy relationship, you have no respect for yourself or your partner. Being alone is not the same as being lonely, and giving in to social pressures to follow other people's norms and feel complete is simply not worth it.
If you're unhappy or can't stand being single, make the most of your situation. Pursue opportunities that are hard to reach if you have a partner or family. You can travel, make close friends with many people, and enjoy total freedom
Part 2 of 3: Loving Your Partner
Step 1. Make a commitment
Cultivate relationships and put in the effort to make things work. Communicate openly with your partner about your goals in the relationship and where it is heading now. If you're only interested in short-term relationships, be honest. If you're hoping for a serious, long-term relationship, be honest. There's nothing wrong with either type of relationship, but you have to make sure that your partner is committed to the same version of love as you.
Stay committed to your partner and to the relationship itself. Put the effort into making your partner feel special and for the relationship to work
Step 2. Be a passionate lover
The word "lovely" is usually associated with sex, but emotional intimacy is an important part of a loving relationship. An emotionally intimate relationship means allowing yourself to feel and express your insecurities in the presence of your partner. Hiding feelings of insecurity will manifest in withdrawing, attacking, or accusing. On the other hand, intimacy will seem like sharing your partner's fears, discomforts, and disappointments. Feelings or situations that previously felt insecure will feel more secure in an intimate relationship because of the trust that has developed.
- If you start to feel insecure (such as feeling afraid, sad, embarrassed, or hurt), take a break. Acknowledge any feelings that arise and allow yourself to feel them, don't avoid them. Be sympathetic to those feelings and treat them with care.
- Share your feelings with your partner and let them support you.
Step 3. Accept that love is dynamic
If you feel that the fire of love and strong feelings have begun to fade, realize that love has its ups and downs. Sometimes you feel very infatuated with your partner, and other times the love feels less. Even though the fire of love is starting to dim, it doesn't mean it will always be like that. Life goes in circles and it's natural for love to have its ups and downs.
Many things can make love go up and down, like having children or getting older. You can go through it
Step 4. Be open to receiving love
You don't have to be the one controlling the love in the relationship, let your partner express their love for you. Accepting love sometimes makes some people feel weak because they have to let go of control. Be open to receiving gifts, receiving compliments, and being warm. You may feel like you owe your partner something, but don't think about it and enjoy the feeling of acceptance. Love knows no debt, but multiplies.
Step 5. Touch your partner
Touching your partner doesn't have to be sexual, but you can strengthen the bond with a supportive hug or hand grip. Express your love for your partner by initiating and prolonging physical contact. Affectionate touch is one way to express concern, appreciation, and other positive and binding emotions.
Touch is a way to feel love and make a partner feel loved
Step 6. Express your gratitude to your partner
Sometimes the way you communicate with your partner gives a different meaning, but gratitude is always understandable. Affirm your appreciation for your partner by expressing your gratitude. Thank your partner for showing that you are aware of their efforts to create a good relationship. Show appreciation for the things he does, as well as for the qualities he possesses.
Step 7. Be a supportive partner
The point of living with the person you love is so that you can overcome every challenge in life together. Get together to find solutions, solve problems, and cheer each other on in difficult times. We can't solve all problems ourselves, we can't know everything there is to know, but many people united in love can solve almost any problem.
Part 3 of 3: Loving In Difference
Step 1. Don't expect perfection
Don't expect perfection from your loved ones or yourself. This is a very unrealistic expectation. Neither of you will live up to the standards and you will both be sick and disappointed. Accept yourself and your partner openly, and don't be surprised if something goes wrong.
Step 2. Take lessons and apply them in relationships
Yes, relationships are bound to have bad things. You may say the wrong words or your partner may hurt your feelings. All of that can happen. The most important part when there's a problem (even if it's just a problem in your own life) is learning a lesson and moving on. Try to take lessons from negative situations, turn them into something positive by learning and growing from experience. Try sincerely to look at the problem from your partner's point of view in the event of a serious argument.
If you are in the wrong, apologize and admit your mistake. A good relationship can express complaints openly and get rid of uncomfortable feelings
Step 3. Reconcile the differences between the two of you
It can be hard to feel love for your partner when you are very angry or irritated with them. In fact, there is no measure of difference that determines relationship happiness, either in couples who can make up after a fight or who tend to avoid fights. The most important part is finding happiness after a fight.
Realize that there is always an opportunity for reconciliation. Almost all types of conflict have an opportunity to be reconciled, either by shouting at each other or seeking a compromise before the situation escalates. No matter how intense the argument between you and your partner is, make sure you both feel heard and can come to an agreement
Step 4. Balance negative and positive feelings towards each other
Balance is important for creating a happy and loving relationship. Research shows that in terms of stability over time, the ratio of positive and negative interactions in relationships is five to one, or five positive interactions for every one negative interaction. When you realize you have done something negative towards your partner, do your best to provide positive interactions to restore balance.