Feelings are cognitive reactions that give meaning to emotions. Sometimes feelings can be so intense that some people escape by watching too much TV, shopping, or gambling. If not monitored, the flight can lead to debt, dependence, and declining health conditions. Then these things add to the burden of feeling again so that it creates a "vicious circle". This article contains practical steps for controlling feelings.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Immersed in Feelings
Step 1. Realize that feelings are validation of our internal struggles
Feelings come from how we perceive the outside world. Positive feelings are 'good' ones and negative ones are 'bad' ones, but there are no 'right' or 'wrong' feelings. Both positive and negative feelings are something that is natural as part of the experience of human life. Embrace both so that you can learn to control the situations associated with those feelings.
Feelings are useful for determining what we need. For example, feeling fear is actually a way to make us more aware of the dangers that threaten our survival. Fear was probably the thing that kept our ancestors alive. Recognizing that all feelings are useful, even if some we don't like, can help make it easier to regulate feelings
Step 2. Take a deep breath
Breathing exercises can help you feel calmer, more in control of your feelings, in control of yourself, and more in touch with the rest of your body. You can only process emotions when you are calm. Try the following breathing exercises. Place your palms on your stomach, inhale through your nose, then count to five. Feel your stomach loosen as you exhale.
Step 3. Recognize feelings
Which body parts are affected? How intense is the feeling? How is your breathing? What is your posture? How is your face? Is the feeling stronger or weaker? Notice how the feeling affects the rest of the body. Pay attention to the speed of the heartbeat, stomach, body temperature, limbs, muscles, and all sensations on the skin.
Step 4. Identify the feeling
What is the exact term? Angry? Guilty feeling? Nervous? Sad? Afraid? For example, anger is hot; this feeling seems to spread throughout the body and among other things can increase the speed of the heart rate so that the hands and feet sweat. Anxiety can cause shortness of breath, increased heart rate, sweaty hands and feet, and tightness in the chest.
Feelings can be mixed at once. Try to identify all the feelings that are going on
Step 5. Accept the feeling
Let those feelings go on without being judged, resisted, or held back. Let the feeling happen because it is a natural reaction of the body. If you have a thought or opinion about the feeling, just remember it but refocus your attention on the physical sensations in your body.
Sometimes the above is enough to control feelings. It takes very high mental strength to ignore, avoid, or suppress feelings; sometimes these things can actually make the feeling stronger and protracted. By accepting your feelings and not fearing them, your mind will be free to deal with the situation that caused them
Part 2 of 4: Processing Feelings
Step 1. Write down how you feel for 15 minutes
Write about the situations that happened that gave rise to these feelings. What happened? Who said what? Why is this important? Identify and write the name of the feeling. Don't edit or censor and don't worry about spelling, grammar, or sentence structure. Be honest with yourself. Write everything down.
- The more honest you are, the more you can control your feelings.
- This step is useful so that you can analyze your thoughts as if from a third person point of view so that they are more objective.
Step 2. Pay attention to all negative thoughts and all their patterns
Often negative thinking has become a habit to the point that people believe it. Try to analyze how much of your writing is fact and how much is opinion. A key principle in cognitive behavioral therapy is that the way you think shapes how you feel. This exercise can help you deal with your thoughts so you can ultimately control your feelings.
It's easier to spot faulty thoughts by reading their written form
Step 3. Write the response as if you were writing to a close friend
Often we are more judgmental and critical of ourselves than others. Be more lenient and think of reasonable arguments and responses to all of the issues listed above. Provide comforting facts and advice.
If you don't like writing, maybe your thoughts can be recorded in an audio recording app (speak in 10-minute segments). Listen to the recording and watch for any negative thoughts. Repeat this process up to three times
Step 4. Read your response
After writing the response, read it! Put that response aside and read it again after a night's sleep or 24 hours later. While waiting, engage in a relaxing activity or hobby; the point is to step away from the feeling first so that later you can gain a new perspective.
Hide that post. Ensure the confidentiality of the writing so that you are not afraid to write everything honestly
Part 3 of 4: Processing Feelings With Trusted People
Step 1. Find someone you can trust and talk to
Let the person know that you need to talk about something confidential. Talking about problems with loved ones is easier. Ask if he has time. People who are busy or stressed are also not good at asking for help. If possible, find a trusted person who has experienced similar problems. The person is more likely to understand your situation and their empathy can be comforting.
Step 2. Tell the person how you feel
Tell the trusted person what happened to cause the feeling. Explain why this is important. Talk about whatever comes to mind and needs to be said. Voicing your heart's content can be a relief and good for your physical health as well.
Step 3. Ask the trusted person's opinion on your problem
After you reveal your situation, maybe the other person will come up with a personal story and show that you are not alone in dealing with the problem. Maybe that person can provide a new perspective that was previously unthinkable.
Part 4 of 4: Dealing with the Source of Feelings
Step 1. Overcome negative thoughts
Feel how intense your feelings are. After processing the feeling and seeing it from a different perspective, think about whether there is another way of looking at the situation. Did your feelings change after that processing? Feelings can change as the way of thinking changes.
Step 2. Think of all the things you can do to change things
Either alone or with loved ones, make a list of things you can do to change things up. Think about all the possibilities, the effort required, and whether or not you need help. The steps you need to take will depend on the people involved and your relationship with them (family, boyfriend, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, boss), so think about the most appropriate step.
Step 3. Make repairs
Do your best to improve the situation. If you are responsible for something, be honest and face the responsibility. Apologize for all your mistakes and try to fix them. In order not to be haunted by feelings, you need to be sure that you are doing your best.
Step 4. Turn over a new leaf of life
If for some reason all your efforts to make amends are unsuccessful or it is no longer possible to reconcile with the people involved in the situation (perhaps because the person has died or has blocked you), you should still love yourself and continuing life. Reassure yourself that you did your best and that you have learned a lesson from the incident. Keep that lesson in mind.
Step 5. See a therapist
Sometimes it's a little hard to get to the root of the feeling. The therapist can help pinpoint the root cause of the feeling so that it can be effectively resolved.
- Try asking your personal doctor if there is a therapist you can recommend. You can also search online (online).
- There's no need to wait until your problem is really big and complicated before asking a therapist for help. The therapist can actually spot bad everyday thoughts and behaviors so you can be happier and more stable.
Tips
- If you're stuck in a cycle of debt or addiction, seek professional help. The therapist can help emotionally, ensure confidentiality, and be objective when your loved one can't.
- Keeping a diary can help you control your emotions on a regular basis.
