Talking about a topic on fire can run the risk of hurting the other person's feelings even if it's unintentional. It's good to have a strong opinion. It shows you care about something, but can sometimes blind you to other people's feelings and experiences. To reduce the risk of upsetting others with your strong opinion, consider who you will be speaking with for effective communication. Be on the lookout for signs of tension so you can respond appropriately and consider whether or not your opinion needs to be expressed.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Get to know the person you are talking to
Step 1. Keep the conversation light in a group of people you don't know
For the sake of making a good impression, this is not the time to express strong opinions. Without first knowing the views of those present, there is a risk of accidentally hurting someone's feelings with your strong opinion.
At a job interview, joining a new social group, or being introduced to family from friends or coworkers are all examples of when you need to hold on to strong opinions until you get to know them better
Step 2. Share politely with a new, but like-minded group of people
By joining a group of like-minded people, you don't have to worry about whether your opinion will offend others, but be careful about the language you use. Your choice of tone and language will affect how your message is received. Even if these people have a similar premise to yours, there may be differences in how they express their beliefs.
You just need to be very careful in choosing your words in the first few meetings. Once you feel more comfortable with the other members, the communication patterns will become more natural
Step 3. Share your opinion with your friends openly, but remember to be gentle too
Close friends will tolerate your strong opinions more than anyone else, but they're also more likely to argue with them. This is a healthy exchange, but remember to always respect each other.
No one will be easily swayed by arguments, so don't break the relationship by using harsh language. Focus on using the word "I" (that's just a personal opinion), rather than "you" (because it sounds patronizing), so that differences of opinion can be maintained peacefully
Step 4. Consider carefully when to argue
If you're in a group that has strong opinions against yours, it's best to keep quiet. You don't always have to have an opinion. You can choose to just be an observer.
If it's very important for you to share your views, even in a group like the one above, consider building a relationship with one of the members first. You can have a fair exchange of opinions with him first. If you later decide to share your opinion with other members, you have at least one supporter
Method 2 of 4: Recognizing Signs When Tensions Rise
Step 1. Notice if the jaw is hardened and there is gnashing of the teeth
An early sign of someone getting tense is their jaw clenching. Some people don't notice when they're doing it, so this can be a good indication of how your opinion is being received. If you start to notice someone's jaw tightening, soften your statement or pause so that the person can work through the tension.
If you begin to notice that you are tense yourself, loosen your jaw. Remind yourself that this is just a conversation and need not stir emotions
Step 2. Check the volume
When there is tension, the volume tends to rise. Raised voices are usually a response to feeling frustrated when you don't feel understood. In fact, many people describe feeling not understood as not being heard or not being listened to. To reduce tension, return the conversation to the proper volume. To do this, just lower the volume yourself. Others will naturally begin to match your tone.
If you notice that your own voice is starting to rise, an effective way to reduce it immediately is to comment, “Wow, I'm talking too loud. Sorry, I'll lower the volume." This will set the conversation back to a normal tone while acknowledging that the situation was heating up
Step 3. Measure the expression level
Watch for exaggerated or exaggerated expressions. Stepping back and forth, leg swaying, clenching fists, exaggerated hand movements, and tapping of the feet can all be signs of restlessness. You'll notice that the other person isn't happy with your opinion of increased or more intense movement. You should recognize the sign as a signal to back off.
This is a great time to listen. Providing opportunities for others to speak and helping them feel understood will relieve tension
Step 4. Observe the tone of voice in the conversation
Another sign that a conversation is getting tense is the type of language used. If you notice your communication is turning more aggressive or sarcastic, it may be time to pause the conversation. It can be quite difficult to restore a conversation if there has been tension, so consider changing the topic. You can return to the subject of the dispute when the tension has subsided.
Avoid using sarcastic and aggressive language in your sentences. It will only hurt feelings more deeply
Method 3 of 4: Being Open to Other Possibilities
Step 1. Listen more carefully than speak
When the topic of conversation involves an opinion you hold dear, it's very tempting to monopolize the conversation. Instead of following the urge, try to be a listener. Realize that when you insist on something, you're not really listening to the other person at all; You're actually just formulating what you're going to say when the other person stops to catch their breath. Learn to understand the other person's point of view.
Try to listen with the intention of capturing completely and correctly the views of others. This can help you understand what is being said
Step 2. Ask challenging questions politely
It's okay to ask challenging questions of someone who disagrees with you, but understand that this is to understand their position and not to win over a difference of opinion. The purpose of the conversation should be to share ideas and experiences; it's not about who wins the argument.
Encourage others to ask you challenging questions too. This will help establish that belief in yourself as well as in others
Step 3. Admit that there is more than one correct opinion
Your opinion may not be wrong, but it's probably not the only way out either. Open your mind to exploring other possibilities or at least the possibility that your opinion and that of the other person could be both wrong.
To really understand this, you can try swapping sides and state each other's opinions. This method can provide a better understanding of both parties
Method 4 of 4: Avoid Hurting the Feelings of People Who Have Strong Opinions
Step 1. Avoid triggers for disputes
If you know someone who has a firm opinion on a particular topic, it's best to avoid that topic. You can avoid this by not bringing it up, or by politely staying out of the way if someone starts talking about a topic that could trigger a dispute. You can use excuses such as wanting to go to the restroom or having to take a phone call outside.
If you've just met someone and suspect that that person has strong opinions, it's a good idea to avoid the topic of religion and politics. Both subjects tend to be controversial, so it's likely that the person has a strong opinion of one or both of them
Step 2. Listen and show respect for the beliefs of others
If you are in a conversation with someone who is very opinionated on a topic, respect their beliefs. It's okay to question someone's beliefs and opinions. Discussions on controversial topics can bring both parties involved and make small improvements in each other's thinking. However, the use of harsh or sarcastic language can drive both parties away. Ask why someone might feel that way and if there are other alternatives.
Avoid hurtful or negative statements, such as “it would be so stupid if….” or “only a fool would…” These statements can stir up the feelings of someone who disagrees with you
Step 3. Switch to a lighter topic
You can politely interrupt the conversation and turn your attention to a new topic. You can apologize in advance for interrupting and make a statement or question on a different topic.
Praise is a great way to reduce the intensity of someone discussing a topic. Try saying, “I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I just realized that your shoes are beautiful. Where did you buy it?”
Tips
It's important to have an opinion, but it's more important to have a lot of information
Warning
- Don't express your opinion just because you want to talk.
- Avoid alcoholic beverages because it can make you careless in speaking and cause regrets later on.
