Are you the type of person who likes to sit in the corner of the party room hoping no one will come over and talk to you? If you are like this, realize that you are not alone. If you want to become more socially confident, you must create an outward appearance that exudes confidence and practice your social skills. You too can be the center of attention at the next party.
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Part 1 of 3: Have A Confident Aura
Step 1. Accept your personality
Many people have introverted personalities, which means they prefer to spend time alone with their thoughts. If you are like this, don't force yourself to turn into a friendly and sociable person. If you push yourself, you can become stressed, anxious, and develop heart disease. Instead, spend time in social situations that you do enjoy and try to have meaningful conversations with other people.
By accepting your introverted personality, you can focus on the quality of your social interactions instead of trying to increase your number of social interactions
Step 2. Understand the importance of self-confidence
You can become truly socially confident by grabbing other people's attention in a way that interests them and makes them feel heard. This ability, along with the ability to make others feel heard, is known as social competence. Research shows that improving social competence actually increases positive self-perception and self-acceptance in social situations. Practicing social competence can open up opportunities for yourself because you are more likely to approach other people.
How you view yourself is a factor that usually affects your self-confidence. You may think you give other people a negative impression in social situations, but chances are you're just looking for something that confirms your thoughts
Step 3. Avoid negative thoughts
If you don't view yourself as socially confident, it's easy to find evidence to confirm such thoughts because people tend to use experience to prove their predictions. Instead, try changing the way you view a situation to challenge how you see yourself. Immediately stop yourself when negative thoughts arise and ask yourself what evidence you see or hear that proves those thoughts.
For example, imagine you're at an event and think, "I know everyone here thinks I'm boring because I have nothing to talk about." Immediately stop the negative thought and ask yourself what can prove the thought
Step 4. Test your beliefs
When you start looking for evidence to confirm your feelings, test the evidence to see if it's caused by something else that's out of your control. Don't assume that other people's reactions are your fault, as this can often make you feel sad. Recognize that other people's reactions or responses are a product of themselves, not yours. Maybe you can try to shift your assumptions toward sympathy for the other person while wondering what happened to that person really.
For example, maybe you see someone giving some kind of facial expression and you feel that the person is not interested in what you are talking about or you witness someone abruptly ending the conversation and walking away. Try asking yourself if this could be due to something else. The person showing certain facial expressions may be unwell or uncomfortable in their seat, or they may be looking at someone they don't want to see. People who leave in a hurry may be late for a meeting and forget to tell you. Or maybe he's just stressed and really needs some alone time
Step 5. Show compassion to others
When you show compassion to others, you create positive situations when interacting with others. The more positive social interactions you have, the more you can build self-confidence. The ability to pick up on social cues and express empathy is an important part of getting along well with other people.
For example, if your friend is in a hurry to leave, you can text her or call her later to see if she's okay. He will most likely appreciate your sympathy and understanding
Step 6. Maintain healthy expectations
Sometimes we just don't "click" or "connect" with someone, even though we try to be social and friendly. This is a natural thing and everyone has experienced it. When trying to build social confidence, remember that you can't be held responsible for other people's feelings and actions.
If someone you're talking to doesn't respond, that's that person's business, not yours. Just shut up and turn your attention to something else. There will be other people who "connect" with you or at least have the social skills to have a polite and pleasant conversation with you
Part 2 of 3: Improving Social Skills
Step 1. Show interest in others
Try to make the other person feel comfortable, valued, and heard. The ability to do so is known as social competence which can also make you appear more confident. Try to be aware of the verbal and nonverbal signals you send to others. This can help you to improve your social skills.
For example, maybe you find yourself avoiding eye contact and crossing your arms at social events and making other people uncomfortable
Step 2. Reinforce nonverbal communication through body language
Have body language that conveys confidence, or poses that show strength. Studies show that these power poses can increase your confidence and make you look comfortable. Power pose while standing occurs when standing with feet shoulder width apart and hands at the sides of the hips or intertwined behind the head. Some examples of body language that show confidence are:
- Stand straight and puff out your chest to widen your shoulders. Place your hands on a table or place them behind a chair.
- Strong posture with legs wide apart and shoulders and arms uncovered.
- A steady handshake to connect with others and help others remember who you are.
- A smile shows that you are interested and enjoying the time.
- Making eye contact lets the other person know that you are listening. Most people are comfortable making eye contact 60% of the time while the rest of the time taking their eyes off each other so as not to appear glaring at each other.
- Steady posture, do not shake body parts so as not to look nervous.
Step 3. Speak clearly
To make yourself appear confident, try to speak clearly and at a volume that other people can hear. Don't speak in a high pitched voice. Studies show that raising your voice in the middle of a conversation before returning to a lower tone can show you are confident, assertive, and you don't ask for approval. Learning to adapt your verbal communication in this way can make you appear more comfortable and confident in social situations. People are also more likely to understand what you mean.
Muttering is difficult to hear and the other person may think you don't want to take part in the conversation or you're not interested
Step 4. Speak at a reasonable speed
Make sure your speaking speed is slow enough for the other person to understand you. Sometimes when you're nervous, you start speeding up what Ana is saying. To make sure your speech rate is normal, try to breathe steadily at regular intervals throughout your speech.
If you find yourself talking faster or speaking too fast at first, try to take a pause and breathe before continuing
Step 5. Be an effective listener
Try to focus on what the other person is saying and try to imagine yourself in what that person is explaining. This can make you appear more empathetic so you can respond appropriately and appropriately to keep the conversation going. Letting the other person talk can remind you that you're not the only one who has to keep the conversation going. It also sends a signal to others that you respect and value their opinions, which can give you a better social impression and this can increase your self-confidence.
- If you're nervous, it's tempting to pay attention to yourself, how you're nervous and how you react to it. However, this can make the other person feel as though you don't really care what he's saying.
- Avoid the urge to interrupt what you can do when you're nervous. Instead, take a break and hold yourself back from saying it when the other person is done talking.
Part 3 of 3: Applying Confidence
Step 1. Put yourself in social situations
Applying self-confidence in social situations is an important opportunity. Over time, your social skills will get better and better and help you have self-confidence. Being in frequent social situations can also make you feel more confident, which can reduce your anxiety. Try to get into a variety of social situations and challenge yourself to start a conversation with other people.
You can say hello, introduce yourself, or make a comment about a mutual friend, your office, or the atmosphere you are in. For example, you might say, "Hi, this place is great for parties. Have you tried the food?"
Step 2. Try acting
Ask close friends or family to help you practice your social skills. Your friend can pretend to be someone else at an event and you can practice introducing yourself, standing up and speaking confidently, then ending the conversation. This is a great way to practice self-introductions and end the conversation.
- For example, you could introduce yourself by saying, "Hello, I'm Afi, Fajar's friend," then open the conversation with your list of topics. You can start the conversation by discussing who you are friends with, how other people know each other, or asking the other person about hobbies or careers.
- You can end the conversation with something as simple as, "Okay, nice to meet you, hopefully we'll see each other again."
Step 3. Socialize with the help of friends
Ask a friend to accompany you to an event so you can meet a friend of your friend. Meeting friends of your friends is a great way to practice social skills without having to walk up and introduce yourself to strangers. Your friend can introduce yourself and you can join the conversation when you feel ready.
For example, your friend might say, "Bobby, this is my friend Amanda. We went to the same school." Then you can let the conversation flow between them or join them
Step 4. Socialize in new situations
As you start to feel more confident, try going to places where you don't know anyone. Try to go to places or events where the focus is not on getting to know people. Look for groups or small events that interest you. That way, you have a better chance of interacting with a smaller number of people. It can also prevent you from feeling overwhelmed.
