4 Ways to Have Politeness

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4 Ways to Have Politeness
4 Ways to Have Politeness

Courtesy is very important because it shows that you are civilized and have manners. Good etiquette can help you build better social relationships and make you more fun. If you are eating with other people, use proper eating manners to show that you are civilized. You must also maintain etiquette online so as not to offend or share information excessively.


Method 1 of 4: Have Good Conversational Ethics

Step 1. Say “please” and “thank you” when asking for something

Whenever you ask for help, start with the word "please". So you don't seem demanding. After being helped, say “thank you” to let him know that you are grateful.

  • For example, “Could you please get the book?” After he hands you the book, say "Thank you".
  • Say "thank you" even if it's a small favor, such as a cashier taking your payment at a store or a waitress taking your order at a restaurant.
  • If someone says "thank you", respond with "thank you again" or "you're welcome".
Have Good Manners Step 8
Have Good Manners Step 8

Step 2. Introduce yourself by name when meeting new people

If you meet someone new in a social situation, introduce yourself by saying your name and asking for their name. When he says a name, repeat it so you can remember it. Extend your hand for a firm shake, but not so tight that it hurts her.

  • For example, “Hi, I'm Dewo. You?"
  • The way of introduction varies in each culture and country. So, make sure you understand the ethics that apply.
  • If you're with someone and meet someone you already know, introduce them if the two have never met. For example, “Hi Budi, this is Melisa. Melissa, this is Budi."
Have Good Manners Step 3
Have Good Manners Step 3

Step 3. Listen to the other person without interrupting

When the person starts talking, make eye contact and pay attention to what he or she is saying so you can follow the conversation. Don't interrupt or interrupt the conversation because it's rude. When he's finished speaking, respond so he knows you heard what he said.

If you and he start talking at the same time, stop and ask him to continue to show that you care about what he has to say

Step 4. Avoid harsh language

Inappropriate language can be offensive, especially when used in public conversation. Try to avoid swearing while chatting. Try to find replacement words or stop talking for a while to organize your thoughts and plan your words.

  • For example, use "oh my gosh" or "crazy" in place of a harsher word.
  • You can also use more descriptive adjectives in place of harsh words. For example, instead of saying, "I'm really surprised," say "oh my gosh".


Wear a rubber band around your wrist, and snap it if you feel like swearing or think about using swear words. So you'll be linking the cussing with the pain, thereby reducing it.

Method 2 of 4: Respect for Others

Have Good Manners Step 2
Have Good Manners Step 2

Step 1. Offer to help as a sign that you are polite and respectful of the other person

If you see people needing help, ask what you can do. If the request is reasonable and you can easily do it, take the time to help. For example, opening the door or helping carry heavy items.

  • For example, approach someone and say, “Need help lifting that?”
  • Sometimes you don't have to ask before you help. For example, you could hold the door for the person behind you, or offer a seat on the bus to the person who has to sit.

Step 2. Respect other people's personal boundaries

Usually, people don't like being touched without permission, apart from that it also makes them uncomfortable. Be careful with distance when standing or sitting near other people, and pay attention to his face and body language to determine how he feels in that position. If he seems uncomfortable, take your distance and apologize.

If you accidentally bump into someone, say, "Sorry."

Have Good Manners Step 5
Have Good Manners Step 5

Step 3. Congratulations on the achievements of others as a form of support

This kind of support shows that you value and know how to acknowledge the success of others. If one of your friends wins something or gets a promotion, say “Congratulations!” or “Great!” so he knows you care.

Don't tell or praise yourself when others are successful. For example, if you lose a game, don't say, "Because today I played badly". Instead say, “You're great. Your strategy is good."

Have Good Manners Step 10
Have Good Manners Step 10

Step 4. Write a thank you note when you receive something

In addition to saying "thank you" in person, send a thank you message to the person who gave you a gift or did something special for you. In the note, convey that you appreciate what he has done and tell how his gift or action affected you. At the end of the message, write a closing such as “Greetings” or “Your best friend”, before affixing your name or signature.

For example, “Dear Anita, thank you for the diary you gave me for my birthday. I can't wait to fill it up every day. I really appreciate it. Your best friend, Goddess."

Method 3 of 4: Applying Table Manners

Step 1. Keep electronic devices off the table so you don't get distracted

Don't put your phone or tablet on the table while eating with other people, as they can distract you from the chat. Set your phone to mute or vibrate only, and keep it in your pocket or bag while you eat. Don't answer messages or calls unless it's an emergency.

If you have to reply to a message or pick up the phone, first leave the table by saying, "Sorry, I have to pick up the phone for a second."

Step 2. Wait until everyone at the table gets their food before starting to eat

Don't eat right away as soon as you sit down and other people haven't got their food. Wait patiently until everyone's dish is ready to eat. That way, you will all enjoy your meal at the same time.

This applies to eating in a restaurant or at home

Have Good Manners Step 16
Have Good Manners Step 16

Step 3. Hold the cutlery properly

Hold the fork and knife as if you were holding a pencil, not a grip. When it comes to cutting food, hold the knife in your right hand and the fork in your left. After the food is cut, you can eat with the fork in your left hand or put the knife down so you can eat with the fork in your right.

Make sure you use the correct cutlery. If there are several types of knives, forks, and spoons, use the outermost one before using the others for the next dish

Have Good Manners Step 11
Have Good Manners Step 11

Step 4. Do not chew with your mouth open

Chewing with your mouth open or while talking is usually considered rude because no one wants to see the food in your mouth. Take small bites and chew with your mouth closed before swallowing or starting to speak. If someone is talking to you while you are eating, answer after the food is swallowed.

Cut the food into small pieces so that the mouth is not too full and easier to chew

Have Good Manners Step 13
Have Good Manners Step 13

Step 5. Ask someone else at the table to get something

Don't reach out yourself as your hand could cross someone else's and it's generally considered rude. Ask the person closest to what you want to get it. After receiving it, say thank you to show courtesy.

  • For example, “Yulia, could you please get me the butter?”
  • If there's no room in front of you to put it, ask if the person can put it back where it belongs. You can say, “Could you please return this bowl? Thank you."
Have Good Manners Step 14
Have Good Manners Step 14

Step 6. Don't put your elbows on the table while eating

You can put your elbows on the table before and after eating, as well as between meals. After the food is served, place your hands on your lap when not in use so you don't rest your elbows or forearms on the edge of the table.


The question of putting your elbows on the table varies depending on the culture. Find out what dining etiquette is where you are to double-check what is considered polite.

Step 7. Cover your mouth if you have to get something out between your teeth

If you have food debris stuck to your teeth, cover your mouth with a napkin or hand so that other people don't see it. Try to do it quietly so as not to attract attention. Once the leftovers have been removed, place them on the edge of a plate or wrap them in a napkin.

If you can't get it out within a few seconds, take a break so you can go to the bathroom

Have Good Manners Step 12
Have Good Manners Step 12

Step 8. Say goodbye if you have to leave the table

If you have to go to the bathroom during your meal, check your phone, or go out, say "Sorry" before getting up to let others know you need to go somewhere else. There's no need to give reasons for leaving if you're going to come back and sit down at the same table again.

You can say, "Sorry, excuse me for a minute" when you get up from your chair

Method 4 of 4: Be Polite in Cyberspace

Step 1. Don't say anything negative or offensive on social media

Before uploading anything, think about whether you are going to say it directly to other people. Otherwise, don't upload it to your profile because other people who see it may be offended or have a negative view.

  • Try to write angry or negative expressions in other documents, not on social media. So you can check it again and determine if it's worth uploading.
  • Speak to the person in question directly rather than making an angry or offensive status about him or her. So you can work things out privately and not publish anything negative.


Many jobs and schools check social media accounts when selecting candidates for employees and students. So don't post anything that negatively affects their decision.

Step 2. Don't post or tag other people's pictures without their permission

It might seem funny to post an unflattering picture of a friend and tag him, but he might get hurt. Ask before uploading anything to make sure there are no problems. Send the picture so he knows. If he asks you not to upload it, respect his decision and don't share the image.

  • Tagged images usually stand out on social media accounts. So, everyone can see the photo and rate the tagged person.
  • Think about whether you would like your friend to upload a picture of you in a similar situation. If you don't want to, chances are your friends won't either.

Step 3. Don't over-share personal information on social media accounts

For example, writing personal information or uploading too many posts in a day. Before uploading, think about whether you want the information to be made public.

  • Social media sites like Twitter are better suited for multiple updates throughout the day, unlike Facebook or LinkedIn.
  • Never post personal information such as addresses, phone numbers or passwords to avoid the risk of hacking or fraud.

Step 4. Write the post in plain sentences, not all caps

The use of capital letters in cyberspace seems like shouting at the person who reads it. When writing something, use capital letters only at the beginning of sentences, including writing names, or abbreviations. Thus, people will read it in their usual tone of voice.

For example, “READ THIS NEW INFO!” seems much more aggressive than “Read this new info!”

Step 5. Don't send unwanted messages or pictures to other people

It may be tempting to send a message or picture to a stranger, but that will make the recipient uncomfortable. Practice real-world conversational manners if you don't want to sound rude. If you don't know, introduce yourself and wait for a response. If he doesn't get a response, don't bother with other messages because he probably doesn't want to chat.

Check your social media settings to limit who can post something if you don't want to receive unwanted messages


  • Treat others the way you would like to be treated so that you remain polite and friendly.
  • Read an ethics book or guide to learn how to behave in various social situations.


  • Different cultures have different manners and ethics. So, learn what the norms of politeness look like where you are.
  • Never post personal information in cyberspace.

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