If someone says you're ugly, you might think that what they're saying is true. However, no matter what other people think or say about you, it's what you think about yourself that matters. Instead of getting angry or upset when someone makes fun of you, respond calmly. Learn to accept yourself and develop self-confidence. Be a person who has inner beauty, not just prioritizing appearance. If you're still not confident, ask a friend, family member, or therapist for support.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Responding to Ridicule
Step 1. Control your anger
Maybe you get upset or hurt when someone says you're ugly. Instead of getting angry right away, control your emotions and act mature. time to think before speak. Breathe deeply as soon as you become aware that you are angry or upset. Inhale and exhale slowly and slowly.
- Perform abdominal breathing, instead of inhaling only into the chest cavity.
- Breathe while counting. For example, inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds.
Step 2. Ignore the people who make fun of you
One way to show that you have control over yourself is to not let what other people say to you. If someone's words affect you and hurt you, this means that they are controlling you. Don't let him do this by ignoring his words and not being impulsive. Who you really are is more clearly seen through character than through appearance.
- Remember that this step is easier said than done. Also, you need to practice being able to ignore hurtful comments.
- Say to yourself over and over, "His words and opinions don't change my opinion of myself."
Step 3. Show your stand
Take what he says and don't be discouraged. If you feel the need to respond, say so confidently. Show your stand by saying that his words hurt and do not reflect who you really are.
- For example, tell him, "I don't know why you said I'm ugly. Your opinion of how I look doesn't matter to me."
- As another example, you could say, "I feel beautiful because I'm loving and kind. I don't need your judgement because you're not a beauty pageant judge."
Step 4. Turn the assessment into a statement
Maybe he thinks you're ugly because you have a physical aspect that he finds unattractive, such as a flat nose, curly hair, or big feet. Body features like this are not a bad thing. Remind yourself that he is judging you. Don't take it negatively.
- For example, tell him, "You're right! I have a big nose. You have very sharp eyes."
- Another example, "My arm hair is thick, but appearance is not everything to me."
Step 5. Be humorous
Humor can melt tension, but don't use humor to strike back. Humor is a great way to show that what he's saying doesn't offend you.
Respond by exaggerating what he's saying, for example, "Looks like I'm ugly. Maybe I just turned into a swan!"
Part 2 of 3: Accepting Yourself and Building Confidence
Step 1. Learn to respect your own opinion, not just someone else's
After all, how you see yourself is far more important than what other people think of you. People have different opinions, but what you think about yourself is what matters most. Learn to put your perception of yourself above the judgments of others.
If someone judges you badly, remind yourself that your opinion is more important than theirs and don't be swayed by what they say
Step 2. Focus on your strengths, not on your weaknesses
Many people are used to self-criticism. If you often find excuses to think you're not good enough, write down things that make you like yourself. Stand in the mirror and determine the physical aspects that make you look attractive, such as eye color, skin color, lip shape, palms, and so on. Don't pay attention to body parts that you think are less attractive!
- Write down a physical aspect that you enjoy and then read this note to cheer yourself up when you're upset.
- Also, note down physical activities that you enjoy, for example, "I'm athletic" or "I can dance well."
Step 3. Accept yourself as you are
There is a saying that goes, "Beauty depends on the perception of the person who sees it" and this also applies to attractiveness. So, no one can define the word beautiful, ugly, or attractive. If you feel inferior because you think you don't look pretty or hear negative opinions about you, learn to accept and love yourself. Accept the fact that you are not perfect and try to accept those flaws.
- For example, say to yourself, "I'm not perfect and I don't look attractive, but I can accept myself, including my flaws."
- If someone thinks you are unattractive, so what? Other people don't necessarily think the same about you. Accept yourself as you are. Remember that you can't please everyone.
Step 4. Say positive affirmations
If you feel inferior because you are considered ugly, try to overcome it. Say phrases that make you feel confident and think positive. Make affirmations with positive words and say them every day. At first, you may not believe what you are saying, but keep doing it consistently and observe the changes.
- For example, write and then say to yourself, "I'm beautiful" or "My self-worth is more important than how I look."
- Write your affirmations on a piece of paper or Post-It using colored markers and stick them on the bathroom mirror so you can read them every morning!
Step 5. Show confidence in your daily activities
If you feel like you can't show confidence or don't know how, pretend to be confident. For example, ask yourself, "When a confident person was in a similar situation, what would they do? What would their response be like?" Start carrying yourself as a confident person even if it's just pretending. If you sound confident, others are less likely to belittle or ridicule you.
- As the saying goes, "Fake it 'til you make it", you can fake it until you really feel confident. This step turns out to be easier if you do it consistently
- For example, you may hear someone sneering as you pass in front of them. Keep your head up to show that you are confident.
Step 6. Do fun things
If you're feeling sorry for yourself because someone judged you badly, do something that makes you respect yourself. Since you can't change your appearance in an instant, do activities that make you feel happy, calm, relaxed, or comfortable to deal with stress and relax, for example by:
- Take a walk, take a warm bath, write a journal, or listen to music.
- Enjoy hobbies, such as exercising, practicing martial arts, playing the guitar, or cooking.
Step 7. Keep your body clean
Make an effort to take care of yourself regularly. Keep your body clean every day by changing clothes (including underwear and socks), bathing, brushing teeth, and using deodorant. Taking care of yourself makes you more confident, for example by setting aside time each morning to comb your hair, wear neat and clean clothes, and dress according to personal preferences.
- Choose a fashion style that reflects your personality. Wear clothes that are comfortable, neat, and make you feel confident.
- The nicknames "ugly" and "incapable of self-care" are different. Work on maintaining and improving your self-image by taking care of yourself and making the necessary changes.
Part 3 of 3: Asking for Support from Others
Step 1. Share your problem with a supportive adult
If you need support or someone to talk to, talk to someone, such as a teacher, parent, community leader, or religious leader. They're ready to listen or offer advice on how to deal with a problem that caused someone to hurt you. If needed, they can put you in contact with them.
Adults have experienced youth and can offer advice based on their experience. Maybe you never thought that they really care and are ready to help
Step 2. Find real friends
If the person you thought was a friend turns out to be bad for you, reconsider whether you need to be friends with them. True friends will support and care for you, instead of insulting or mocking you. Make sure you interact only with friends who make you feel confident. Keep in mind that you will continue to feel disappointed if you expect your bad "cool" friend to be nice to you.
- Instead of making friends with these people, make sure you find friends who are nice to you, appreciate you, and make you feel confident.
- Choose friends who accept you for who you are, not those who demand that you look cool or attractive. Make sure he appreciates and likes you unconditionally, instead of just focusing on how you look.
Step 3. See a therapist
If you're experiencing bullying, self-image problems, or are feeling low, talk to a therapist to get over it. Learn how to control your emotions and increase your self-esteem. If you have an anxiety disorder or depression due to being bullied or abused, a therapist can explain how to build self-confidence.
Find a licensed therapist by calling a mental health clinic or insurance agent. In addition, you can ask for recommendations from doctors or friends. If needed, ask parents to call for information
Tips
- Consider who is mocking you. If a bully is known as someone who likes to insult others or be rude, don't waste time and energy. His words are not helpful or can help you improve your self-image.
- You have a bad self-image if negative comments come from yourself, not from other people. Find someone you can trust and ready to help you improve your self-image.
