Have you ever wanted to ask something, but didn't know how to get the answer you wanted? Constant rejection, whether at work, at school, or at home, can lead to stress and frustration. Unfortunately, no method can guarantee you will get a positive answer, but there are strategies you can use to significantly increase your chances of success!
Step
Method 1 of 3: Preparing for Success
Step 1. Speak confidently and competently
When you approach someone, whether to make a proposal or a request, try to make the best impression. The perfect way of delivery will increase the probability of success. Speak confidently and unhurriedly, don't say "ng" or "er" or stutter.
- Keep in mind that practice is the root of perfection. Before asking a question, practice saying what you want to say. There's no need to memorize words so you don't sound like a robot. You just need to practice saying what you want to say until you sound competent and confident. If you remember visual information better, try writing down the words you want to say and repeating what you've written.
- Practicing in front of a mirror is helpful because you can correct any nonverbal problems that may occur, such as playing with your hair or avoiding eye contact.
Step 2. Nod your head while speaking
Studies show that nodding your head when pitching an idea can help you feel more positive and confident, so that the person you're talking to (your boss, client, or loved one) gets the impression that you're a confident and knowledgeable person.
Be careful not to use these kinds of nonverbal cues too often. Nod your head only at appropriate times so that it feels natural. Don't overdo it as it will distract from the words you are saying instead of emphasizing their meaning
Step 3. Show them the benefits of your proposal/idea
People are more likely to agree with you if they think that your proposal or idea can benefit them. Explain what benefits they will receive by agreeing to your request.
- For example, if you want to apply for a leave of absence, explain to your boss the period when the company's workload is least, then develop your thinking based on that fact. In this way, the boss will see the advantage of giving you a vacation: you show foresight and ask for time off at off-peak times so it won't affect the company's performance.
- If you want to date your partner, but you need to get the older child to watch over the younger siblings, make an offer in exchange for being able to come home late, money, or the chance to use the car on the weekends. Show your teen that a positive answer will benefit both parties.
Step 4. Ask questions to find out what they think is most important
If you don't prepare in advance or dig up the information during the conversation, convincing the other person to accept your idea or proposal will be much more difficult. If they're not interested in what you're proposing or offering, there's no point in persuading them.
There's no point in trying to sell a two-seater car to a family of five. Try asking the following question: “What was your main purpose for buying a car?” and “What features do you find important?” Prioritize their needs, then your chances of getting a positive answer are greater and allow you to make a sale
Step 5. First, make a small request
This technique is also called “foot-in-the-door”, which means making small requests before moving on to larger ones. The idea is that people are more likely to agree to a big request if they've already agreed on something less significant. For example, if you persuade a child to try at least one spoonful of his dinner, he's more likely to continue eating if asked to, especially if you offer a treat!
Step 6. Try to make the request at the right moment
The other person's bad mood can be a surefire way to get rejected. If possible, don't try to negotiate with someone who is angry or showing an unfriendly attitude. Wait for her mood to improve before you approach her. Dinner at home or at a restaurant can be a good time to make a request.
- Of course, this method is not suitable for work situations, where you need to negotiate, such as when you have to sell something to a dissatisfied buyer. It is not always possible to wait for the right moment. However, if you have a choice, wait until the person you are negotiating with is in a better mood to increase your chances of success.
- Pay attention to nonverbal signals that indicate the moment is inappropriate, such as arms crossed over chest, external distractions (such as a phone call or a naughty child), eye-rolling movements or frowning expressions. Even if you get involved with the person out of politeness, he or she will not listen to you. It's best if you wait for the right moment and approach him when he can be more focused and kinder.
Method 2 of 3: Using a Persuasion Strategy
Step 1. Use peer influence
People tend to make decisions based on the opinions of others. We read restaurant reviews before going there, and look at movie ratings or ask friends for opinions before watching a movie. The same “herd mentality” will help convince someone to give a positive response.
- For example, if you are trying to sell a house, using this technique will increase the ranking of the location of the house advertised on the internet, show potential buyers that the house is in an elite area, and show the best schools in the area. The influence gained through the positive feedback of others will accelerate the sale of the home.
- You can apply the same principle if you want to persuade your parents to let you study abroad. Telling them about the exclusive programs on offer or positive feedback from other students and their parents (and potential employers!) can pave your way to what you want.
Step 2. Use a “convincing argument”
If you ask someone for help without giving anything in return, you won't get a positive answer. However, if you use a strong argument, there's a good chance he will give you approval. It's important to make sure your arguments are honest and convincing. If he thinks you're lying, and thinks you're being dishonest, he's likely to decline the request.
For example, if you're standing in a long line in front of the bathroom and can't take it anymore, you could try to persuade the person in front of you to let you in first. If you just say “May I go first? I'm desperate,” maybe he will refuse and give the same excuse. Compare that to saying, “Excuse me, do you mind if I go first? My mag is having a relapse,” it might be more effective to get him to grant your wish
Step 3. Apply the “reciprocity principle”
This psychological concept is based on the belief that once someone does something for us, we feel obligated to reciprocate. For example, if we are willing to take over the shift of a colleague who is sick, the next time you have to leave work for some reason, you can ask that coworker to replace your job in return.
In this case, try saying: “I happen to have something to do this Friday. I hope you can replace my job this week because I replaced you last week.” This kind of debt will make him uncomfortable to refuse and will agree to it
Step 4. Offer a rare service or opportunity
This approach is often used in advertising by saying that “offer is limited” or that the opportunity is valid “while supplies last.” Use this trick to convince someone. If you sell a product and say that the offer is only valid for “30 minutes” or “only 50 units left”, chances are people will be willing to buy your product.
Method 3 of 3: Accept Only Positive Answers
Step 1. Provide only positive answer choices
Studies show that so many choices often leave people trepidation and confused. Try to limit the number of possible answers to your request to two.
For example, offer only two restaurant choices to your partner or ask a friend to choose one of the two dresses you have selected, which one suits you best. This step will narrow down all-too-general questions like, “Where are we going to eat tonight?” or “What clothes should I wear?” Providing specific, limited answer choices allows you to get the answer you want and makes it easier for others to make choices
Step 2. Be prepared to negotiate or receive a half-positive response
In some cases, there may be no compromise. If you're trying to convince a person to agree and he or she is willing to negotiate or come up with terms before agreeing to it, then you're on the right track. Accept the deal as a win.
- This approach is most appropriate if you are dealing with someone in a higher position, such as a parent or boss. For example, if you want to come home later than usual, there may still be room for negotiation. If your parents want you to come home before 11 p.m., while your event will last until 1 a.m., getting permission to be home at midnight as a compromise can be considered a win. If you ask your boss to increase your salary by 7%, and he agrees to only 4%, consider it a win for convincing your boss that you deserve a raise. In this case, you've managed to get what you wanted (getting more fun time with friends or a raise) in an indirect way.
- Don't look at compromises from a negative perspective. Think of it as an agreement with certain conditions. Thanks to the power of persuasion, the situation becomes more favorable than it was before you convinced them of your request.
Step 3. Ask questions that will lead to positive answers
Sometimes it's beneficial to ask a question that will result in a positive response. Instead of trying to convince someone of something or selling something, sometimes we need a positive answer to create a relaxed atmosphere and good mood. You can use this strategy on a first date or family gathering when you want to get everyone to agree.
For example, on a first date you might say, "This wine is delicious, isn't it?" or “Are you crazy about this city too?” Or, at family dinner, ask "Grandma's fried chicken is the best, right?" These kinds of questions encourage a positive response and help you find common ground with those around you
Step 4. End the conversation with a positive message
If you can't get a positive response from someone, try ending the meeting or conversation proactively with a vision for the future. That way, you are free from uncertainty and ready to take another step towards your goals.
