We all want to be surrounded by strong, inspiring, and influential role models in our lives. Do you want to be one of the people who are used as a role model? You can learn to develop character, interpersonal skills, and self-esteem to earn the respect and attention of others. Start influencing.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Building Strong Character
Step 1. Be a positive person
If you want to be an influential person, you will quickly find that positivity will work more than negativity. All will be attracted and willing to be influenced by positive and caring people, not rude and always critical.
- If you're going to criticize someone's work or want to offer suggestions or alternatives, start praising them first. Instead of outright criticizing, say, "That's a great thought, but how about we try something a little different…"
- Avoid topics of conversation that involve complaints and criticism. Talk about things you enjoy, not things that annoy you. People will be more interested in spending time with someone who wants to have fun and talk about positive things.
Step 2. Know your strengths
Influential people are people who know how to play their strengths. What are you good at doing? What can you do better than most other people? Recognizing and emphasizing strengths in personal interactions is a great way to influence others.
- If you're your own toughest critic, listen to what other people have to say. What job or thing often brings you praise? What makes you get high marks in the eyes of others?
- Try to write a list of accomplishments and relate each achievement to something you think you can do well. This is an easy and great way to identify your main strengths.
Step 3. Practice your public speaking skills
If you can't voice your opinion and communicate in a concise and concise manner, it will be difficult for you to become an influential person. Influential people learn to express their opinions and ideas in concise, concise language. You have to convince.
Speak clearly and loudly when you speak to arouse attention. Don't interrupt, but make sure you can be heard. It's hard to influence other people when you mumble
Step 4. Become an expert in your field
If you want to influence other people, you have to do more than nice words and the ability to manipulate people. You must have the ability and expertise to back up your words. You should apply what you say and model what you suggest, making your influence more assertive.
- If you want to influence a friend, coworker, or family member, devote time to studying and researching what you will talk about and what you do, from work to hobbies. Have above-average insight and abilities, then put that knowledge into practice.
- Do more than expected. Be the first to arrive at the office and the last to leave. Put more effort into your home and let your actions speak louder. Strive to be the best in everything you do. Even if it turns out you can't be the best, it will work itself out.
Step 5. Be a charismatic person
Charisma is very useful in influencing others. It's hard to know exactly how to develop something that's hard to define, but it has a lot to do with feeling good about yourself. Charisma is confidence. So, to influence others, you have to stay relaxed, confident that what you are saying is true, that you are who you are, and that what you say matters.
- Make the ordinary interesting. The head of Google's spam division has hundreds of thousands of Twitter followers not because spam is a very interesting topic, but because he tweets about the topic in a humorous way.
- Being a charismatic person is no more difficult than being able to know when to be quiet. Instill a little mystery in your life by stepping away from the conversation, instead of contributing as you normally would, you might be surprised that people turn out to be more curious about your thoughts. Influence in silence.
Step 6. Be someone you can trust
It's easier to influence others if your arguments are believable, organized, and convincing. Build a trustworthy persona, from the way you carry yourself to the way you talk
Know when to stop. Influential people also know when to admit they're wrong and stop ideas or arguments that don't fit. Being influential doesn't mean having to be right all the time, or convincing others that what you say is true when it's not
Step 7. Get inspired
Inspirational people build confidence and trust in others, influencing their decisions by spreading trust. You don't have to be the smartest, kindest, or most assertive person, you just have to make other people feel they can benefit from being around you. It's easier said than done, but inspiration is usually a mix of many other abilities that will make you influential. Stay positive, speak well, then you will inspire others.
Part 2 of 3: Influencing Others
Step 1. Know who you really need to influence
If you want to develop influence, it's important to focus on the people who matter most. If you are in a position of power or even in the lowest position, choose the person who will be able to help you make a difference, or the person who is most compatible with you and your ideas.
Don't waste time and energy on unimportant people. You are not tasked with influencing everyone in your life. If a coworker has no authority over you, doesn't cooperate, and annoys you, ignore them
Step 2. Be honest
Telling the truth and influence go hand in hand. Make it a goal to be as honest as possible with the people you want to influence. If you don't like the idea your employees are bringing up, be honest and present it as best you can. Don't hide the uncomfortable truth, always aim to be honest and others will respect you.
In some cases, directness will be unpleasant, or on the contrary, refreshing and influential. Still, it's important to practice tactics and pay attention to the fine line between hurting other people's feelings and being honest
Step 3. Build a relationship filled with conversation
When you interact face-to-face with other people, build relationships with them and instill trust and confidence. Conversation is more than just saying the right thing. To build a relationship, make sure you:
- Maintain personal space and distance
- Look other people in the eyes
- Breathe slowly and maintain a balanced tone of voice
- Adjust your choice of words with the interlocutor
Step 4. Anticipate the expectations of others
If you can guess what someone is going to say before he says it, you'll be able to influence it much more easily. Try to organize your thoughts and consider what you have to say beforehand, so you don't have to think and talk as you go. Anticipate the other person's reactions and responses to help you think about what you are going to say before the words are spoken.
Step 5. Be open to cooperation
Negotiation and arbitration are very important parts of being an influential person. Working together to come up with the best ideas can give the impression that you're willing to listen. Make sure you consider multiple perspectives and ask for contributions from others. Make teamwork.
Let other people come up with your ideas. If you believe you have the answer, get other people into your thinking, but don't come up with a solution just yet. When someone sees where it's going, compliment their great idea, even if it's actually yours
Part 3 of 3: Gaining Influence
Step 1. Remember the person's name
Small but important thing. There's nothing more unpleasant than forgetting someone's name, then masking it by saying "Oh, I'm sorry I have a hard time remembering people's names." Don't be that kind of person. Be the person who only needs to hear the name once, then converse with everyone, from the courier to the CEO, as if you've known them for years.
Step 2. Listen actively when the other person is talking
Look the other person in the eye, nod your head in agreement, and focus on the conversation at hand. Get involved and listen well and you'll be much more collaborative and influential in conversations. People are more likely to tell the truth and open up if you are a good listener.
Don't just look like you're listening well, listen really well. We all have bosses who are always nodding but can't quite sum up what we just said. Do not like that. Listen carefully and think about what the other person is saying. Don't just wait for your turn to speak
Step 3. Stimulate the creativity of others
Everyone likes to feel unique, as if they have a great idea that others appreciate. If you want to influence someone, don't just demand responsibility for a task, or greed, or a sense of competition-stimulate their creative side. Give them the opportunity to develop new ideas and creative ways of thinking, and give them the opportunity to indulge in those ideas.
Praise creative concepts, even if they don't go well. If your friend has a radical new idea for a small business that turns out to be a flop, commend her for her courage. Celebrate small failures
Step 4. Ask for what you want
If you want to influence people, get them in the direction you want them to go. If your boss has the ability to grant you the raise you want, say you want a raise at the right time. There's no point in talking in circles. Focus on the point and speak from the heart. If your reasons are sound and your influence is strong, you should have a stronger chance of getting what you want. You'll never know if you don't ask.
Tips
- Define what you are trying to achieve. Make a clear plan to achieve what you want.
- Everyone falls into one of the following three mindset categories: visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. These are hints that may be of use to you. The visual person says something like "Have you seen the news recently?" while the auditory person might say "Have you heard the news recently?" A kinesthetic person will say "I feel that…" when discussing emotions. These cues can let you know how to talk to different people in an impactful way.
- Try using the Milton Model language pattern. The two main categories of language patterns are: cause and effect, and prejudice.
- Sell anything to anyone with research. For example, if you want someone to choose an envelope, you can make the envelope more attractive by pushing it toward the person when he or she is watching, to make him think he chose it.
- You can also distance yourself and speak a little louder when you name the envelope number you want them to pick.
- If you want someone to agree with you, nod your head. He won't notice, but his subconscious will react.
