Starting a chat with an attractive woman on Facebook can be scary at times, especially if the two of you aren't very close (or don't really know each other). Try starting the conversation with a statement or question that reflects a genuine interest in him. After that, continue the conversation while showing respect and concern.
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Part 1 of 3: Part One: Following the Basic Procedure
Step 1. Send a private message
If you want to start a two-way chat with a woman on Facebook, it's a good idea to send a private message, and not a post on her timeline, status, photos, or other public content.
Sending private messages will make it easier for you to develop the chat because both of you will feel more comfortable being yourself when no one else is in or involved in the chat
Step 2. Join an existing chat
The only moments that require you to focus your efforts on approaching him in the public sphere are when you can indeed contribute your thoughts or something meaningful in the ongoing discussion or chat on the content of his public profile.
Make sure you do make a meaningful contribution to the chat in a way that doesn't spark controversy. Don't argue with it in a way that can spark an argument and build a negative impression. Also, wait for him to cover relatively lighter topics. For example, if he asks for an opinion on a new phone he needs to buy, you can give your opinion and provide it with specific reasons
Step 3. Focus on the latest content
Even if you've seen all of his photos in the last five years, don't let him find out (at least in the early stages of an interaction or introduction). As a general rule, only like or comment on content he's posted in the past month so you don't sound like a stalker on Facebook.
You may need to adjust the time range based on how often he uploads updates to his Facebook page. If he sends out updates several times a day, you may need to focus on the content he uploaded in the past week. On the other hand, if he only uploads updates once a month, you can comment on the content he's uploaded in the last few months
Step 4. Keep in touch
Starting just one chat may not be enough. Usually, you'll need to make an ongoing effort to stay in touch with him before he's interested enough to contact you first.
- By showing the effort several times, you can reflect a genuine and ongoing interest in him.
- Persistence is a good character, but don't obsess over it. New chats every few hours or every day sometimes make someone uncomfortable. Therefore, give him time to "rest" in between chats.
- Don't keep asking him in return. If he doesn't reply to your messages, complaining won't change his mind.
Step 5. Make a good impression before sending a friend request
If you're not friends with him yet, you'll need to chat with him before sending a friend request. He may not accept friend requests from strangers. However, there is a chance that he will accept the request once he gets to know you.
After a few chats, ask if he'd mind if you sent him a friend request. Asking him for permission or approval is a sign of great respect, and he will certainly appreciate your actions
Part 2 of 3: Part Two: Deciding on a Chat Starter
Step 1. Ask opening questions
You can start the conversation with a question, but use open-ended questions, not closed ones. Closed questions can be answered with a “yes” or “no” word, while open questions require more detailed answers. Therefore, open-ended questions can easily lead you both into the chat.
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For example, you could try asking about his name.
- If the name is unique or unusual, you can ask about the name itself: “I think Isla is a pretty name. Do you know the origin of the name or its meaning?”
- If the name is generic enough, you can create a more personal question: “I like the name Rachel. Did you give your name based on a certain figure, or did your parents have high taste and choice in choosing names?"
- Keep in mind that in both examples above, your statement begins with a compliment before moving on to the question. While not mandatory, the use of compliments and questions usually creates a more memorable opening sentence.
Step 2. Try to find common ground
Find out if you have anything in common with him, even if it's trivial and unimportant. By mentioning commonalities, you can build a relationship quickly so he can be more friendly and open.
- If you both have the same friends on Facebook, you can use that shared connection to start a chat. For example: “You and Alex are friends, don't you think? How did you guys first meet? I've known them since childhood and we live in the same complex."
- In addition, if you know him in the real world, you can take advantage of experiences or situations that both have been through or experienced. For example: “You're in Ms. Arum's math class, right? Me too. What do you think about that class?”
Step 3. Discuss events that are currently happening or are being discussed
Recent events can be a point of common ground because they have an impact or interest a large number of people. Try to narrow the topic of conversation to what's happening in your city or country, and focus on what he or she might be interested in.
- If possible, narrow the topic to events that are "trending" in the community or close circle. If he lives in a different city or province, try discussing something that is going on in the city where he lives. If he lives in the same city or area, ignore the national news and mention events that happened in the city or area where you both live.
- Keep in mind that not all women are interested in local-scale topics. For example, maybe he doesn't care about the latest game or the achievements of the city football team if he's not really interested in the sport. If his public profile indicates that he is a football fan, for example, the topic of the latest game can be a great conversation starter.
Step 4. Comment on something he has
If he's seen holding something in his profile picture or recent photo, mention or ask about it. By throwing statements or questions like that, you show that you pay attention to the little things about him. This in itself reflects a deeper sincerity and interest.
Use creativity. If he's seen sitting in a coffee shop holding a cup in his photo, ask him about the menu he's drinking. If she's seen wearing a unique necklace, you can compliment the necklace and ask where she bought it or got it while pretending to be looking for a gift for a sister or sister (assuming you have a sister, of course)
Step 5. Throw in compliments in a unique and genuine way
Small flattery can help you, but of course as long as you toss it in a clever way. Avoid compliments that are too general or too frequent. If possible, compliment the little details that aren't as obvious, but still seem appealing to you.
- Compliments about things that are obvious, like a tattoo or hairdo can sound insincere, even if you're actually saying it sincerely. Things that are easy to see are usually praised more often so that in their eyes, people who praise these things will not seem "stand out" or unique.
- Avoid sexually suggestive compliments. In other words, don't start the conversation with a compliment about her breasts, hips, or buttocks.
- Try complimenting the more "hidden" or less obvious details, like clothes, names, interests, and the like. Compliments directed at specific things about him are also considered better than general praise.
Step 6. Don't just judge her by her appearance
It's not easy to learn about someone's interests and personality through Facebook, especially when you're not really friends with them. However, by trying to judge him as an individual who has his own thoughts and feelings, you can actually benefit and are usually more effective than when you are fixated on his appearance alone.
Think of this tip the next time you want to use another “starting line” suggestion in a chat. For example, she may have a charming smile, beautiful eyes, and beautiful hair. If he's seen holding a Supernova novel in his hands in his profile picture, that's the book you should talk about. By mentioning the book he's holding, you're reflecting an interest in his likes and personality so he can have a more positive and memorable impression of you
Step 7. Be yourself
As trite as it may sound, you need to be yourself when initiating and keeping the conversation going. Don't try to be someone else hoping you can impress them. Fake masks are very difficult to maintain and once they break, they may lose interest in you and may become more wary.
Starting a chat as yourself makes it easier to maintain the course of the conversation. Using the previous example, you don't need to comment on the coffee he ordered or enjoyed if you don't really like coffee, or the book he's holding if you don't like reading. When you start a conversation about something that doesn't really interest you, you won't have much to say. Conversations can end quickly
Part 3 of 3: Part Three: Reviewing Things to Pay Attention to
Step 1. Show respect
In short, don't act or say anything obscene, rude, or vulgar. Even a woman who has little respect for herself will not tolerate such behavior. Be a gentleman if you want him to respond positively.
Don't treat her as an object, yell at her when she doesn't respond the way she wants, or direct the conversation to sex-related topics before mutual attraction and romance has developed. Actually, being polite does not only include these three things, but at least remembering the basics of politeness like this is a good first step
Step 2. Use humor with care
You can start the conversation with a joke to lighten the mood, but the wrong joke can lead to a bad start to the conversation. Humor doesn't always convey well when you communicate digitally. Therefore, it's a good idea to save jokes or humor for later when he understands your personality and sense of humor well.
If you want to start the chat with a joke, choose a "safe" one. Jokes that sound crunchy or “crazy” can be thrown in, and a slightly self-deprecating joke can make him laugh out loud. Avoid humor or cheap jokes that tend to be easily misunderstood
Step 3. Don't brag
Starting the conversation by mentioning your strengths will only make you seem selfish. As the chat progresses, there's a good chance he'll ask you questions about yourself, and at that time, you can open up about your personal life.
On the other hand, don't talk or act as if you are a God-given “gift” to women. Even though you are the most impressive person in the world, no woman should have any attraction to you. Try to get his attention, but don't blame or insult him if he's not really interested in the end
Step 4. Practice patience
Even if you want to be in a relationship with him, you shouldn't start the conversation right away by asking him out. In fact, you should wait until you get to know him well enough after a few chats before moving on to the more serious stages.
As a general rule, wait until attraction to each other has developed. When you ask her out, make it as casual as possible. You don't have to call it a real “date.” Usually, the best thing you can try is to say that you want to meet and spend time with him in person
Step 5. Avoid jealousy
Don't ask questions about other men when you send the first message. If you're obsessed with finding out about the other guys she interacts with or chats with (or the guy in her picture), there's a good chance she will feel scared and embarrassed.
