Starting a conversation with a guy can be a stressful prospect, especially if you think he's cute. But if you can muster up enough courage to try, the results can be very much worth it. Here are some simple and easy-to-follow tips and tricks to start a meaningful chat with a guy. Think about it this way, men are people who should be considered as friends, and believe it or not, sometimes men are also nervous when talking to women.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Making Him Talk
Step 1. Introduce yourself
The most direct way to get a guy to talk is to walk up to him and introduce yourself. It doesn't matter if he's the new guy at work, the cute guy you see in the school corridor, or the handsome stranger at the coffee shop, pull your shoulders back, put a smile on your face and approach him with confidence. Say hi, tell me your name and ask for her name. If you're lucky he'll continue from there!
- Once you know what his name is, mention it frequently in chats. It makes the chat more personal and creates a sense of closeness between the two of you.
- Say something like "Hi, I saw you around here and thought I'd come over and introduce myself. My name is Kate, you?" Easy!
Step 2. Take advantage of the circumstances around you
One of the easiest ways to start a conversation is to take advantage of your surroundings to get him to talk. This can literally mean anything, from the weather, to the traffic, to the results of sports events. You can also make comments to him directly or to yourself, hoping he sees it as an opportunity and responds.
- Commenting on the weather may seem like the start of a casual chat, but it still works. Try saying something like "Beautiful day, huh? Don't you like sunshine?" When starting a conversation with someone you don't know, the point is to break the silence and open the lines of communication first. Once you do that you can move on to more interesting topics.
- If you're sitting next to a cute guy on a train or plane, try sighing and muttering to yourself about delays or spikes on your way. If he was interested, he would take this as a hint to respond with sympathetic approval. Once you've got his attention, you can move on from there!
Step 3. Ask him for help
Men love to help women. Biologically they are designed that way. So the routine of being a girl in trouble from time to time might help to keep the conversation going. Being attracted to his muscles and manly strength, it will give him a confidence boost and make him feel comfortable around you, allowing the conversation to continue to flow more freely.
- If you're struggling with piles of heavy files or bulky boxes, ask if he can help lighten the load. If you can't seem to open a coffee jar or water bottle cap, see if he can help.
- Be sure to smile and thank him sweetly after he helps you. Everyone likes a little reward when they do a good deed. And he'll be ready to jump in at the next opportunity to help you.
- This step also comes with a caveat: don't overdo it. You want the guy's respect as much as his attention, so don't play the girl in trouble too often or you'll come across as helpless.
Step 4. Praise him
Boys love compliments just as much as girls, so giving a guy a genuine and enthusiastic compliment is sure to get you on a good note and optimize his interest in the chat. Giving him compliments is a great start to a conversation because you can be as intimate or as casual as you like, depending on how confident you feel.
- If you feel like being blunt, compliment her on her amazing eyes, her killer six-pack abs or her George Clooney-like smile. This will let him know that you find him physically attractive, and this is something that all men love to hear.
- If you don't mean to be too obvious, compliment him on his neat suit, the funky band t-shirt he's wearing or the scented cologne. This lets him know that you think he has good taste.
- Compliment him on his accomplishments at work or on the sports field, if you happen to be present at the time. Tell him that he did well at the presentation or that he played very well. He will know that you pay special attention to him.
- Or, you can compliment him on something less personal. If you meet him while he's walking the dog, praise the dog (gives you the main point). Or say that you agree with the sandwich he chose for lunch. Anything that grabs your attention and gets him talking.
Step 5. Ask questions
Questions are a great start to a conversation, especially if you're feeling a little awkward, because they give you a reason to talk to the guy under the pretext of seeking information. The questions themselves can be as short and simple as you like. Just try to avoid questions that can be answered with a short "yes" or "no" as this causes awkwardness, and the conversation will stop.
- Arrange the questions in such a way that it will force him to think of an answer, or at least give a response that is more than one syllable. Men can be a bit boring sometimes, so try to help them out a bit. He'll quickly realize that you're more interested in him than finding out what time it is.
- Try asking if he has a pen you can borrow or if he watched the basketball game last night. At this point it's all just to grab his attention and keep the conversation going, so don't worry too much about the topic.
Part 2 of 3: Keeping Him Talking
Step 1. Find common interests
Finding common interests is gold in chat. When you find a topic that you both enjoy talking about, the conversation will flow more easily. Even if it's not something you know very well, show your interest by asking her lots of questions and letting her talk.
- For example, if you find that you both love watching football, ask his favorite team who he thinks is the best player and if they could make it to the playoffs this year. Once you can get him there nothing is going to be able to stop him, and he might think you're a pretty cool girl for being attracted to it.
- Take clues about his interests from his clothes, desk or accessories. If he's wearing a band shirt, that's him! He likes music. If he has pictures of people surfing on the desktop background, it is an indication that he enjoys riding waves. Paying attention to small details can help you choose the right topic to keep him talking.
Step 2. Ask open-ended questions
To really keep the chat flowing and to find out his interests and personality, it's important to ask open-ended questions. Avoid questions with one-word answers or trite questions that he will automatically answer without thinking.
- For example, avoid starting a conversation with "how are you?" which he might reflexively answer with "good" or "good". It's a good idea to try asking "what are you doing this weekend?" or "what do you think about the new boss?" which will force him to think of answers and actually weave sentences.
- Or, you can ask "this-or" questions, to start a fun debate. Ask him if he prefers "The Simpsons" or "Family Guy," rock or hip-hop, burgers or hot dogs. Whatever the answer, tease him subtly about it and you'll both be laughing right away.
Step 3. Listen more than you talk
Conversation etiquette dictates that you should always listen more than you speak. That's why you have two ears and only one mouth, right? So once the ball is rolling, hand over control to him during the chat and really listen to what he has to say. Let him take over the conversation for some time. In case you didn't know, men tend to like hearing their own voices.
- Even if you're not talking, try to be involved in the conversation. Justify what he says with a smile, nod or facial expression or other appropriate gesture.
- Being a good listener during a chat has two benefits: it allows you to make a good impression, letting him know that you are wise and easy to talk to, while at the same time giving you a chance to see if you really feel this guy deserves it. got your time.
- From what he says, you'll get a pretty good idea of his personality and you can think about whether you want to move on to the next step. This is important because, let's face it, if you don't think he's attractive right now, you're not going to find him more attractive on a date.
Step 4. Ask interesting questions
On the other hand, if you don't have anything to say, he may not find you very attractive. Elevate your conversation above everyday chatter by asking interesting or thought-provoking questions that will make him think and believe you're making an impression. Give him something to ponder and you'll be in his head long after the chat is over.
- For example, ask light but interesting questions like "If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you like to go?" or "If your house were on fire, what three things would you save?" or "If you were a fictional character, who would you be?" This question will hopefully make him smile and give you a little insight into his personality.
- Or you can get a little more serious and ask questions like "what's your biggest regret in life?" or "where will you be in ten years?"
- To be clear, these are not the kinds of questions you ask to start a conversation or that you ask at the most unexpected time. If so, he'll probably think you're a little crazy. This question is best saved for situations where the initial awkwardness has passed, perhaps after a few drinks.
Step 5. Bring in pop culture
Pop culture is a long-standing mainstay of the conversation. Everyone, regardless of their interests, has an opinion on the latest silly celebrity movies, music, television shows, books or baby names. Once you can get a feel for what his interests are, you can ask him if he's seen a certain movie, read a certain book, or heard a new record of a popular band.
- Also try asking for opinions or recommendations on aspects of pop culture that he thinks he's good at. Men love to show off their vast knowledge, especially to a fascinated listener.
- For example, if he likes Woody Allen movies but you haven't seen any, ask him what movies are the best to start with. Feeling confident? Maybe you can suggest to watch both.
- Or if you can find something you're as good at as he is, then you're in luck. Impress him with your fondness for unknown 70s punk rock bands or your penchant for reading Franco-Belgian comic books. He may think you are the right person for him.
Step 6. Finish with a bang
The final step in having a successful conversation with a guy is knowing when to back off gracefully. You should always leave him wanting more, not expecting you to pick up on his cue and walk away. After one successful story or joke, you should try to create an opening to leave. Tell them that you have to go back to work or that you have to go home. Hopefully he will be disappointed you left and will wait for the next time you have a chance to chat.
- If you feel like things are going really well and you like him more now, take the next step and suggest that the two of you go out for coffee or an after-work drink sometime. If you find it very awkward to say it, do it like the girls in the movies and give her your phone number on a piece of paper.
- Just before you leave, you have to look the guy straight in the eye, give him a smile and say "I really enjoyed talking to you, *mention his name here*" It's personal, it's seductive and much more impressive than "until see you again".
Part 3 of 3: Sending the Right Signal
Step 1. Smile and laugh
Boys are more attracted to happy, smiling and laughing girls than a pouty duck-faced diva. Fact. Smiling makes you seem friendly and approachable before you even open your mouth to speak. He'll instantly feel more comfortable around you and more willing to open up. Laughing at his jokes will lift his ego and make him feel great, while also making you more attractive. Both win.
Step 2. Make eye contact
Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of a successful chat. Think about it. If you keep looking away or looking the other way, you will appear awkward and uncomfortable or as if you are not interested in being there. Lots of eye contact shows confidence and indicates interest, which is exactly what you're trying to achieve. But be careful not to stare, it's scary.
Step 3. Smooth
Okay, so you want this guy to know you're interested, but you don't have to wave that fact in his face. You can smile at him, make eye contact, laugh at his jokes and ask questions, but don't do it too often or hang on to his every word like an overzealous puppy. Try to hold back a bit of mystery and make him try to get your attention. Boys love the chase, remember?
Step 4. Look your best
Attraction isn't always about physical, and it shouldn't be. You want a man who is attracted to your intelligence, your brilliant mind, sweet nature and perhaps your ability to chug a pint in under 7 seconds. But when it comes to trying to get a guy's attention, there's nothing wrong with looking your best. This does not mean high heels and a face full of make-up. But this involves things like dressing your body shape, always showering and fresh, smelling good hair or putting on make-up that draws attention to the best parts of your face, like full lips or beautiful eyes.
Step 5. Don't overwhelm him
It's okay to ask questions and get to know this guy, of course, but try not to scare him. Don't ask questions you wouldn't be comfortable answering on your own. Also, try to keep the questions flowing lightly, you don't want him to feel like you're researching his answers, like if he's at a job interview or cross-examined in the witness stand. Play beautifully.
Step 6. Make physical contact
A gentle touch on his shoulder or a hand lightly placed on his arm can turn a man hot and cold and let him know, without saying a word, that you're interested. You shouldn't overdo it, once or twice during the chat will achieve quite the effect you want.
Step 7. Take him out
That's the direction of all this, isn't it? If you've had a chat with this guy, have decided that you like him, and you're pretty sure he likes you too, why don't you swallow your doubts and ask him out? It doesn't have to be a big, romantic move or something as formal as dinner. Try asking him if he'd like a coffee (or something stronger) after work on Friday. This will give him the opportunity to spend more time with you without having to be in over-the-top situations like dating. Think of this as an extra opportunity to practice your conversational skills. Not scary at all!
Tips
- Don't change your personality for a man
- Don't pretend to be something you hate. If you do, the guy might drag you somewhere or do something you won't enjoy. For example, if you hate country music but he only listens to it, don't say "oh that's my favorite kind of music" because then that's all he'll be playing around you. Take this time to introduce him to some music you really like…maybe he's even starting to like it and that gives you a chance to ask him to do something together.
- Avoid excessive perfume, make-up and jewelry. This will make him think that you are trying too hard to get his attention.
- If you have a friend in common, use this person to lighten the mood. Ask this person to set up a meeting together, then the two of you can move on from there.
Warning
- Don't ask her if she enjoys being single or if she's ever been in love. He may think that you are pushy, or that you are moving too fast in the relationship and that might scare him off!
- When you put yourself out there and ask a guy out, there's always a chance he'll say no. Don't feel too hurt or rejected when this happens, control yourself and keep smiling. Someone better is coming soon.
